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<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:35 AM: Message edited by: cerri ]</small>
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<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:35 AM: Message edited by: cerri ]</small>
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Cerri,
My H is now getting a front-row seat in the dissolution of a M. His boss's husband left her, and they are going through a divorce. He was telling me that she was popping pills and there were closed doors and she seemed very distraught. A week ago, she took a medical leave because she had a nervous breakdown.
When my H's affair came out, I think I may have been close. My exposure included going to the woman's house, in a nice part of Minneapolis, at 3 in the morning, going into her car and kicking around the car seat, and yelling "Sophia ... is a whore" at the top of my lungs.
Not my finest moment.
The person who asked if you were a born-again Christian was trying to help. Your reply concerns me. This is a great forum for people in meltdown -- I was up the night lordlady decided to file -- but can you make sure of two things:
- your kids are OK - maybe you can get someone to watch them, and
- you don't do anything which is irrevocable -- not your husband, YOU
A week after the A came out, I was at my sister's house in California, and my 3 year old was swimming in the pool. I was holding the baby. Suddenly, I realized that she had been yelling "Help" and there was silence. I ran up and pulled her, still, out of the water. She's eating breakfast right now, but she remembers...
Cherished
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Cerri,
I read this with incredible sadness, because like the others on this board I look up to you in your wisdom and compassion, reading everything I can find that you write.
Being in love with a troubled man is among the most painful lessons we are given as women in this life, I think. I know that pain.
And I am so sorry.
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<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:36 AM: Message edited by: cerri ]</small>
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<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:31 AM: Message edited by: cerri ]</small>
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All right I'm gonna play Cherri on this board...
first off...
you gotta take care of you....
while I realize this has your head spinning and your hands shaking...
you gotta take care of you..
make sure you are drinking fluids...
eat something high protein...a little bit here an there at a time...
put the music on that soothes your soul...
pray whatever pray Wiccan pricesses pray..
seek serenity...
no more
no more conversations with hubby right now...
there is no point really
not right now..
what I am telling you is what I hope you would tell me...
go protective....
posting your exposure is going to bring out a lot of emotions from others on this board...which is fine...
just be wary of the emotional toll for you...
don't over spend ...
ARK who is so very sorry that this happened...
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<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:32 AM: Message edited by: cerri ]</small>
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<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
Penny,
I am so sorry to hear this. You are a wonderful person and you know you have everyone's support.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Enchanted
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<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:32 AM: Message edited by: cerri ]</small>
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I know, I've been all through your site. Shortly after I found MB posters mentioned symc and I added it to my study list. I think I've learned alot in the past nine months... but this, to me is just boyond belief.
Don't get me wrong. All A's are bad.
This one seems to sink to a new level of stupidity.
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My thoughts are with you, Penny.
WAT
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cerri,
You are letting your emotions drive you rather than your knowledge and sense of dignity. I agree with others that have suggested that you edit the details of your supposed exposure. If divorce is the course you will take then exposure of this sort a mute point. Instead it is vindictive.
I also realize that you need to vent your anger and frustration over this matter but I don't believe that plastering obscenities all over the MB board has ever been your style. I noticed that you did not plaster the word **** all over your website. Why is MB different?
Your opinion of MB is evident in that you are using it at the moment for the sole purpose of venting in such a manner that you do not tolerate on SYMC.
I cannot say that I am surprised by your H's actions, considering his history. I am more surprised at your reaction, especially considering your resume.
<small>[ January 30, 2005, 10:14 AM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>
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Thanks WAT. It means a lot.
C
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Cerri:
We know that you 'know' you'll find healing. We know that you 'know' you are doing the right things to protect your family. But just the same we feel for what you're feeling. No book, no board can ever explain to the heart why someone as deserving and valuable as you has to have this experience.
My prayer for you is that soon you truly feel what you already know, that you will have all the peace, happiness, love, and yes, respect you deserve.
Until such time hang with us while you hang in there. We're holding you up. We can do no less
{{{Cerri}}}
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Cerri,
I thought you were being flippant when you said, " I'm not sure what Steve identifies as - a non demoninational farmer would be closest." In the first email, you said he worked at somewhere in Chaska, and it would be unusual that a wife would not be sure of her husband's religion. If you were not being flippant, I'm glad. Reading this through the filter of my own experience, I am concerned that you could do something irrevocable.
Cherished
<small>[ January 30, 2005, 08:12 AM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>
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Cerri-
For what it's worth, I think you are completely justified in putting your H's info on this board. I understand your motivation. People questioned my exposure method also.....I seriously would have rented a billboard if I could've afforded it.
-Caren
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<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:33 AM: Message edited by: cerri ]</small>
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<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:33 AM: Message edited by: cerri ]</small>
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Cerri --
The point here, at least for me, is not your or your husband's religious beliefs. It's whether or not you are in the midst of a nervous breakdown, and if you are, can you make sure that you and your children are safe physically?
I almost got sideswiped with all four kids in the car four days after the A was exposed. I pulled out of a side street in front of another car. Again, I look back and think I couldn't handle anything at that point, not even driving. I made the wise decision to clear out, and my sister took me and our two pre-schoolers for a week.
The emotional trauma will lessen with time. This may well be the end period of the marriage but it is not the end of your life or the life of the children.
Cherished
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