Emotions have a biologic basis which can "hijack" our conscious mind.

When you feel angry ... isn't it true that you don't just feel angry about the particular irritating inciting event? Your anger spreads out like butter that has been left in the sun to melt ... anger leaves an emotional residue on unrelated things in your life! Your feel angry - about everything - and you now might say "I'm in a bad mood." And the remainder of your day may be colored by the initial emotional response to something bad.... long after the "bad" has gone away.

The moods of people around us can similarly affect ... and infect us. Who has not been infected by a rude driver who makes some [censored] maneuver and then flips the bird as they speed by? Feel that rush of toxic emotional poison surging through your body?

Part of the job of adulthood is to develop a healthy emotional core which is less likely to mirror or absorb the toxic emotional radioactivity spewn out by someone who is not looking out for us.

In the heat of righteous anger, is it an option to choose joy? Probably not in that moment. But there are ways to release pent up anger and to choose a different emotion ... after the moment.

Accept anger as a transitional step ... not the final step of the journey. USE the energy that anger generates within you to motivate yourself to do something useful with that energy.

Accept your own anger without judgement. Be aware that to maintain the anger requires a choice, just as releasing the anger requires a choice. Ask yourself if there is an opportunity intwinded with the emotion of anger that could teach you something about survival.

Marvel at the energy that being angry requires. Then channel that same energy into the direction that lets you sing your song.

Anger can be used as a powerful energy source ... so recognize anger as a tool, not a dead end with no exit.
Pep

Great topic Pep. Yes, I have had a lot of volatile times, nuking and being nuked...

I no longer live in fear of other people's anger (or mine).

The bad part about anger is the part you can't see or don't want to look at--underlying hurt. Once you have experienced and identified that in yourself it is a lot easier to forgive others...and you are naturally less reactive, just for the fact of knowing the source, the composition, the fact that it is just a human emotion *without* power to destroy.

Sometimes, even as I feel anger coming on, I can say, "I'm really, really, mad, but of course I'll get over it."

This makes me remember my counselor saying that anger and depression are "cousins". (If nothing else, therapy demystifies emotions.)

HI Termi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ... I am so happy you are still around!

How's life treating ya?

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

pep I have zero acadamic background to back me up, but a vote in favour of 'fight or flight' anger here.

Without anger burning within me I would never have resolved many important things in my life.

* deleted - it doesn't help anyone for me to post THESE examples

But my life and the lives of a lot of others wouldnot be so good without MY anger triggering brave action.
And I would not have exposed not plan A'ed.

Anger is a misunderstood emotion, particularly in men. YES anger can be destructive but it CAN destroy evil and badness. My anger has strengthened me to take action when common sense and calmness would not.

And I ENJOY being angry sometimes. I feel ALIVE. Being angry and working it out in a gym or on a rugby field can be as good as sex !

I sometimes think that Therapists and popular psychologists would have us all emasculted and living in a 'don't mind, lets talk about this' Seinfeld dilution of what life should be.

Life should be PASSIONATE and that means angry as well as loving.

So, as long as you can control it, anger is a good thing !

I rest my ( clumsy) case ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Amen, Bob! I agree that anger is a very underrated emotion and can be a valuable tool if used rightly. And as Pep stated, anger used wrongly can be downright poisonous.

Hi Pep!

I am doing fine, regardless of how life treats me. :-) Some ups and downs lately but not exactly heavy seas...I am grateful. My Dad got through a very big surgery last fall (really a series of them over 4 years) and is finally on the mend and vigorous.

Not much new, better or different in the marriage...but content & peaceful nonetheless.

Coming your way for a college visit...I'll email you to see if you have time for coffee. :-) I'd love to meet you in person.

hi pep, as always, your posts are worth reading even when i am trying to get out of here and get home.

not sure if you saw any of my posts from today... i am feeling more stable right now, i can't say i get the credit for pulling myself out of it. work issues became so demanding and numerous, i needed every brain cell paying attention to those details that it pushed out all other thoughts. and lucky me, i get to come in bright and early tommorow too, hopefully not for too many hours and i will have sunday off <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

thanks for being here pep.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">...I'll email you to see if you have time for coffee. :-) I'd love to meet you in person. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I drink coffee <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

When might this happen?

Pep

The weekend of March 5.

I drink coffee too, again. I had decaffienated myself (something nobody thought would ever happen to me) but am now back to pounding tall ones.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

(In a comedy monologue last night this guy said something about being in Spain and drinking a beer and a coffee at the same time...he called it 'a poor man's speedball'. LOL)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by everlong:
<strong> The weekend of March 5. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah ... I'll be around. Ring me up.

Pep