H is up late at night and that's when he likes to do most of his discussion, and that's where we make the most progress, but due to colds and so health issues, and the two kids, lately I have been exhausted - so tired that on several nights I pass out between midnight and 2am mid conversation, usually when H needs me the most - even if he is crying to me. I wake up and don't even realize I have passed out.

H gets upset because I spent so many late nights and early mornings with OM online, that I should be able to for him. And I agree, but OM and I never dealt with anything so emotionally draining.

So my question is - how has anyone dealt with this - i want to be able to be up all night with H if he needs me to be - is there something i can do to help stay awake? Tonight I am going to try coffee.

I don't want to fall asleep as this is when we have our best talks and make the most progress.

help!!!

EDIT

I know H reads my journal and I talk about these things with him, so I don't mind posting in the forum - even though he posts for encouragement and supporting others, and prefers not for himself, I will still post for my own support...I wouldn't post anything he doesn't know already..

I am full of rambles right now - sorry - don't mind me. Just give me some suggestions on how to rest at other times than the night - meditation during the day? Yoga? something?

<small>[ February 07, 2005, 06:23 PM: Message edited by: deeplysorry ]</small>

Do you work during the day???? If not take a nap during the day.

OR, if you do work, take a nap after dinner for a 1/2 hour or so....or maybe if the kids go to sleep around 9 or so, go to sleep for an hour then, set the alarm, and then you should be able to stay up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-Caren

I work from home, and my kids are still young (3 & 4) although there is an hour when they overlap in their preschool times, I usually use that hour to get everything else done a mother can't get done with them around.

I think i will start trying to take that hour as nap time. Although Friday's they have off, and on days where H can't get the car to me, one is home... But it's better than nothing. The kids go to bed between 7-8pm - so maybe I can catch an hour then, but usually H and I are spending time together then too, supper, maybe a movie.

I am looking for other methods that don't involve sleep I guess...I dont' know what I am looking for - i just don't want to sleep. lol

Hmmmm sleep deprivation, I don't think that's a good idea, I can actually comment on that from personal experience....it's bad, you can't think clearly....you're better off catchin' a catnap, just explain to hubby you just need a 1/2 hour or so to take a nap so that you'll be awake and attentive for your talks at night <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-Caren

This is a good opportunity for POJA.

I understand completely, how your H feels..and how you feel as well..any woman who has had children knows that marrow deep exhaustion that leaves your eyeballs rolling around in your head while you try and fail to focus.

In my situation..when I have something that I want to talk about [and those quiet late nights when the world is [and more importantly the children are] still.. intimacy seems less of a hurdle.

However, H gets up to the tune of 430/500 am.

That doesn't work..and my resentment boils up...he could go out with friends until 30 mins before work..and make it through the day..why can't he do it for me ?!

I know the answer though. During that time, he was NOT operating under a healthy set of laws for himself and his life...realizing that he needs a certain amount of sleep to function and make good choices is a GOOD thing.

I don't want to return to dealing with the former self..and I'll bet your H doesn't either if he just thinks about it for a minute.

So, he can work with you..if he truly needs to talk at that time. He can take care of the household while you nap..or schedual a sitter and do it on a weekend...lots of alternatives..the attitude is the key element.

Noodle