This weekend, my DS was in a big state tournament for his sport. Somehow, in spite of everything that's been going on, WH, DD and I drove down to the event (about an hour away) and sat together. I think WH wanted to come with us for 2 reasons. First, he wanted to make DS feel we are more "together" than perhaps we are. And second, to hang on our coattails. Before DS became good, WH never attend his matches, knew the team or even understood the rules. Now, he's been basking on the glory reflected from his son. Our drives have been fraught with a few LBs on my part. The man, his lack of accountability for his actions and his silence drives me crazy.
For the past 2 weeks, I've been waiting for the bomb to drop. He's been very slippery about making major purchases for his "temporary" apartment. he's been asking me out to dinner and things but putting up a big brick wall when we talk. he's been very defensive about OW. When I've gotten frustrated and said we need to talk about things. WH would just say let's do that after DS's big event is over.
Well, it's done and I'm going to see what's next. I did a very nice job NOT LB-ing as we drove home last night. I promised myself if I didn't say anything, I'd buy myself a nice pair of gold earrings-interview earrings. I only allowed myself 3 comments before he left. I thanked him for the ride, I said that we probably wouldn't see much of him now that DS's thing is over and, the only LB, hoped that his Valentine's Day was as bad as mine. He mumbled that he's see us soon. We gave each other a pecky kiss, I turned around and walked in the door.
Tomorrow, I'm going to put a Valentine in front of his apartment door and that's it. I'm not going to have anymore contact unless he initiates it. I've been Plan A-ing for 2 months. There's still contact with OW. I'm tired on being the one who calls, of planning things, of setting up contact between him and the kids. I feel like he wants to abandon his family. He's fine about money so far but it's pretty obvious he doesn't want to be around us. Maybe he thinks that when he's done with his batchlor lifestyle he can slip back into our lives.
I need some space. It's not Plan B but just giving myself a little space. Like so many people, I find myself a lot less angry without him around. We'll see how this goes.
