ok i'm beyond fustrated. My H is so grumpy and moody and I know i'm reacting the wrong way so please help stear me in the directon of how to fix this.. ok so heres the latest example. our daugther had to get picked up from school early bymy h when i called to tell him i said i'd make a dr's appointment. usually when he's off and i'm at work we meet at the doctors around 4:30 when i get off . so i made the appoint the only one they had was at 4:30 so when i called this afternoon i told him we have to be there by 4:30 and he gets a nasty tone and says i didnt wnat to go to the drs. (well i get off at 4 and cnot make it home and back by 4:30) so iask for suggestions. he refuses to say much just a bad attitude ending with him eventually hanging up on me. i went to a meeting i call him when i get done. he still has a bad attitude. i try to ask whats wrong and how can i work this out so i suggest that i'll tell my boss i have to leaver 20 min early so that i can go hom get the kids and go. he stil is miserable and he wont say whats wrong he swears hes not mad and nothing is worng i can tell by his voice something. is . then he hangs up on me again and now wont answer the phone....

I am not an expert and don't know your situation a whole lot, but it seems your H is not upset with the commitment to take your daughter to the doctor's office. It seems he is frustrated in other areas. Depressed or upset or something.

Maybe you should get a quiet moment somewhere (just the two of you) and ask if there is anything bothering him. He may not have an answer right away, but it seems he is withholding something he is afraid to tell you.

Don't look at the surface (things he does, etc...) but look at the core. But be careful, there is a balancing act in pulling information out of him. Don't come across as argumentative or accusative, but just talk to him with kindness and in a calm manner. He may fly off the handle, but you have to stay calm.

Good luck,
Nomoregames

^^^

Hi mylife,

If were guessing, I would guess that your H feels ignored that all the time you are talking about your problems, your concerns, your needs, your child's needs - but not about him - about what he needs, wants etc.

He wants you, when you call to say, "How are you?" (and really be interested in the answer) before you say "Hey, I just got a minute, could you do something for me ...".

Just a guess.

-AD