I learned last week that the OW has given my wh another phone to use, which is crazy because I found out that he is using his phone to talk to her constantly. Anyway, I just saw it this morning, and I turned it on. He had 6 new voice mails, I am sure from her. i figured out how to access his voice mail, i am just so scared to listen. I am afraid they will literally make me sick. I know he is in contact with her, he knows he needs to leave, and I am not sure if I should listen or not. I think it may tell me more of what is going on then he is saying. Help..

Listen to them.
It will hurt in the beginning, but you have to know what you're up against.

Don't live in denial, it is probably more than he says...of course it is. But then you'll know, and after the initial hurt, you'll feel better that you at least KNOW what really is going on.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

Are you in plan A or plan B? If still in plan A then you must ignore the calls...dont bother about it and concerntrate on doing plan A right.

It is very tempting to listen to the voice mail but you know you will hurt if you do that so its better that you dont. Why do you want to hurt yourself when you can avoid it?

Take care <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Oh Man zizzy, I dunno, I wouldn't be able to resist...LOL

Maybe I wouldn't listen, maybe I'd just *accidentally* drop it in the toilet or spill a glass of water on it....or *accidentally* stomp it into dust.

-Caren

<small>[ February 16, 2005, 08:12 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

Well, I listened. I do not know what plan I am in. Soon to be B. He left and came back to make it work, but has done nothing but talked to her everyday for 4 months.

They were normal messages, like just checking on you. Call me..blah...

The last one was more like, I am glad you are talking to me, opening up to me. I do not know if he is telling her he is still confused and wants me or wants her. She is just very manipulative, so I know that she is saying stuff to suck him in further. I can not worry about her though. He is grown and makes decisions. He knows she is bad news but keeps going toward her. He will have to hit the bottom to see the skank she is.

I just hope he did not see I called. I think the phone was off, so I think it will not show. If it was on, he knows I called it again. He knows I know about it. He does not know I know the code. I am keeping that to me until I learn more.

****Disclaimer, the following post in no way reflects something you should do*******

I got the OW's cell number and started text messaging her from an internet text message site......I said things like "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it" and "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".....just stuff like that NON THREATENING stuff....just to annoy her....it was pretty fun..LMAO, of course my WH said that I was going to jail because I was harrassing her......Hmmmmmmm I'm not in jail, am I?

-Caren

Lovetoomuch

Do I understand correctly? You are still living with this WH and he is still contacting the OW. You are better than this. He does not deserve you under these conditions. Has your WH told you he wants to do Plan A? Or are you just getting things set up for a Plan B. This is so unhealthy...WH can't be sitting on the fence and expect you to sit around. You poor thing!!!!

Also CAREN:
Am I confused or are you under Plan B? Did this contact with OW happen recently. If so, CUT IT OUT!!! Remember, Plan B is about you GETTING to a healthy place. It may feel good, (I have to admit I laughed), but it is not really good for you. It is like a drug!!!

<small>[ February 16, 2005, 08:41 AM: Message edited by: Freefromlies ]</small>

I did Plan A all last summer while he was in town out of the house. We talked, ate out, all while he was seeing her still. He then moved her a few states away, she was kicked out from her husband, they are divorcing. He stayed down there for two weeks and came home. He said he wanted to try. WE did MC for a while, but all along he talked to her, for 4 months. SO..here we are. I know as of last week that this has continued, and he says he is not sure why he does what he does. He says he does not want her, but is not sure if he can be a good husband to me, and maybe he is just doing this to get out of the marriage. I do not know, but Yes plan B is on the way this week..

Personally, I'd listen to the phone messages. You need to know what you're up against. Maybe the messages will prove that the affair is winding down. Or maybe it's heating up. That would help you plan your strategy. It's a good time to get into the mind of OW. And check the text messages, too.

Be strong, you may hear things you don't want to hear but they will be true things. If that's what's going on, that's what's going on. Period. That will help you figure out what plan you are in.

If it was my house, I'd think about that cellphone having a horrible accident too. Maybe just the battery or the charger gets lost. You could see what the drop-test specs are on it. Like how many times it can be dropped from a height of, say, 6 feet and still work. Having that cellphone is a very bad omen.