So my W is out of town this weekend. Back in our 'old town', where OP lives...

I've been assured of no contact, and I have faith...

but...

I went to log into my hotmail account and at the sign in screen, there's a strange email login name. I've never seen it before and I know of no one other than myself, my 8 yr old and my W who have used this computer in the last few days.

It is not a name I could ever picture Dylan choosing. Also I'd be absolutely stunned with disbelief to find any deception going on.

So anyway, anyone know how to get into such an account?

Just to satisfy my curiosity?

dewt

dewt:

If you find out how, I'd be interested. My W has one that she's used since 4 months after d-day.

I don't think there's any way 2 hack such an account. Only thing you could do would be 2 use some spyware keystroke monitor program, for PCs. Macs (which we use around here) don't have keystroke software, so they have to take screenshots periodically.

-ol' 2long

You could try to do a password retrieval. I believe it emails it to an "alternate" e-mail. If she generally uses the same password for things give it a try.

Sorry, but this is pretty fishy at least to me. "strange" email accounts that you know "nothing" about would send a HUGE RED flag up to me. Oh well, that is just me I guess. You no doubt can find more than enough people to "explain" away this email as coincidence. I would look into spyware or something else to further monitor things. ANyways, good luck with all of this.

I think even the most naive of us here would at least feel a tad uneasy if an unknown email popped up coincidwently around the time an unfaithful spouse was back in the same town with a former partner. Hey, but like I said, this is just my ****opinion**** and I could be very wrong about all of this. Perhaps it is your 8 year olds childs account?

LM <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

neverenough:

That's probably the best idea I've ever heard of.

If dewt has a hotmail account of his own, he could try retrieving his own password that way as a test of the idea.

Let us know if you try this and it works.

-ol' 2long

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dewt:
<strong> So my W is out of town this weekend. Back in our 'old town', where OP lives...

I've been assured of no contact, and I have faith...

but...

I went to log into my hotmail account and at the sign in screen, there's a strange email login name. I've never seen it before and I know of no one other than myself, my 8 yr old and my W who have used this computer in the last few days.

It is not a name I could ever picture Dylan choosing. Also I'd be absolutely stunned with disbelief to find any deception going on.

So anyway, anyone know how to get into such an account?

Just to satisfy my curiosity?

dewt </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">1) Check the profile of the person
2) Send a greeting ynder his name. Ask how things are going....

There are other hacker tricks, but can't put those on MB <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ February 19, 2005, 10:11 PM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>

<small>[ February 19, 2005, 10:20 PM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>

Well, yes, this is kind of a red flag incident.

However, I refuse to jump to conclusions.

I can remember many a time when I was the FWS and things 'looked fishy' but weren't.

I will pass on the keylogger/spyware. For one thing, I'm pretty sure there's enough of that on my pc already. One more will probably reduce it to an oversized desktop calculator that takes 45mins to boot up. Also, I refuse to live a suspicious life. If it turns out that my Dylan is indeed a deceitful person, then I am sure that the truth will come out. It always does. In that case, there will be no need to check up on her because it will no longer be an issue. I don't think that this is the case.

But it's one thing to have faith, another to stand in the middle of the highway with your eyes losed. I will check out the the other ideas posted here, and when I next speak with her, I will ask.

It's possible the account belongs to my older son, but he hasn't been here since last weekend and I've checked my email since.

My email is **edit**, if there are any tips that can't be posted. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks all, for your replies.

dewt

tp:

I'd be interested if you have other suggestions you'd be willing 2 talk about offline.

**edit**

-ol' 2long

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dewt:
<strong> Well, yes, this is kind of a red flag incident.

However, I refuse to jump to conclusions.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think anyone is saying "jump to any conclusions". It is no doubt at the very least a red flag, but hopefully nothing more than that. If it were me, I would be much more "on edge" and "curious" than you seem to be. Hey, but that is just me. I am happy for you that you have faith and are taking this very smoothly. I wish that I could have your calmness with this type of "red flag". I am sure that your previous experiences are allowing you to reamin rational and calm about this.

It is probably "nothing".

Goodluck with all of this.

LM

<small>[ February 19, 2005, 10:58 PM: Message edited by: lemonman ]</small>

If you try to log in and enter the incorrect password, you can go to "forgot password".

The downfall to this on both Yahoo and Hotmail are that you reset the password...it doesn't send you the correct one.

You will have to verify country, state, zip of the profile as it was originally created and then answer a secret question.

Not that I've done this before <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , but it should be pretty easy.

A word of caution.... sometimes people who set up secret accounts don't give accurate information when they set up a profile. If the zip code doesn't work you may want to try parents zip codes, old home zip codes or 90210.... I hear those are popular when creating secret accounts.

FIM

I have several ideas, but don't want to get flogged here... email me if you want: **edit**

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lemonman:
<strong> I am sure that your previous experiences are allowing you to reamin rational and calm about this.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I choose how to react. I could just as easily be totally freaked out.

I've tried the forgotton password thing, but we get to 'fav movie' as the question and I'm stumped. The last 'secret email account', which I discovered before it got off the ground, was set up be someone else, and if this is a secret account, well the name chosen would indicate that someone else set this one up too.

That is if it really is a secret account.

Also, the other reason I'm not freaking out is because I've kind of got very little 'freak out' left.

A month ago, I thought that living with my spouse who is still rejecting me was pretty bad.

Then I had a major medical crisis... (susp. heart attack)...

Then a week later my brother is killed, leaving behind 2 children (boy 4yrs, girl 2mos)...

Then a week later I get laid off for imaginary reasons...

Then a week later I'm facing a dental emergency that taught me a whole new meaning to the word pain...

So now this...

Don't you understand, I'm so far past freaking out, it's not even funny.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <------ only slightly manic

dewt

Oh Dewt. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

You've been hit bad. You're entire family has been hit bad.

The only one I can relate to is the dental emergency, and do I ever know what you mean there.

You hang on, and do what you need to do to get through this time the best way you can. Anyway you can is probably more aptly put.

And as far as Dylan starting up a secret account, I choose to hold her innocent until proven guilty. For what my opinion is worth on that.

<small>[ February 20, 2005, 06:47 AM: Message edited by: weaver ]</small>

dewt

My gosh! Your current situation and problems make mine look like Church on Sunday!

Take care of yourself and God Bless You!

SM

PS: Little Note here for others to read:
Keylogger software you purchase is not in the same category of malicious spyware or Browser Helper Objects (BHO's)that you would acquire from dubious websites\e-mails. Keyloggers have their specific purpose\place to track specific users activities. Yes keyloggers can be used with malicious intent but they can also be used to uncover what your children or your spouse is doing or where they are going. It would be nice to just be able to ask the question and obtain an honest answer but as we all have found out honesty is not an integral part of an affair.

Dewt, hacking into this sort of account is 99% intention, and very little skill. I did it myself. The way I did this, was to go into the temp internet files, and bring up all files attached to that account name. Eventually, there is a good chance you will come across one where it saved the password. Just say "log in" and you are there.

I do feel compelled to say, though, that you should be prepared for the worse, if you go looking for it. I'm not trying to be doom and gloom, but so many times here we help people find out secrets their partners might be keeping, and they come apart when they find the truth.

SOMEbody has accessed that account on your computer. Or it wouldn't be on there. Check the history, check the temporary internet files, and see what kind of picture you can piece together. If nothing else, you could get a better idea of the questions you want to ask when she comes home.

Peace to you, Dewt.

Spidey

Depending on how while she has wanted to try and cover her tracks the following should give you an indication of what may actually be up. If you are running windows go to your start tab,go to either search or find fast, click on find files or programs, in the pop up box make sure it will search your C Drive, and then type in the hotmail account name in full under the box, "containing text". It will search your hard drive for any files on your computer that contain this account. Generally what will popup is a copu of any of the archieved screens in history that have been viewed on gthe computer. What you will get will depend on how long your history folder has been set up to save for, generally 20 days so you will be able to view whatever has been viewed during the last 20 days. This will not show you what the account holder has sent out as responses, but whatever email they have received will be viewable to you. Hope this helps.

But w/ Hotmail you usually are timed out and you are still required a password. Yahoo, you can easily access this way.

Truth be told, I hacked all three H's email accounts & his bank account and changed all his passwords.... what can I say, I was pi*sed! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

I also gained access to OWs email acct. I can tell you where she lives, her home number, her Mom, step dad and step siblings names and ages. I can even tell you the last time she used her maiden name... I know, invasion of privacy, etc. But I consider her intending to replace me a huge invasion of my personal space as well.

Well, thank you all so much for taking the time to reply.

I've followed a few of the ideas and turned up nothing.

I realize a that the spyware we're talking about is different than the malicious stuff, I was just joking. I'm serious about not wanting to use it though. The fact is when you boil it right down, I'd rather be lied to than live a suspicious life. Of course, really I'd rather just not be lied to, but y'all know what I'm saying here.

I asked her about the email address and she said it was the fellow (one of her old room-mates) who checked his email when he was here to pick her up. His name is Phil...

...but I didn't know it was him (current room-mate of OP) picking her up.

...and why would he check his email if he was just here to pick her up? Was it not something that a phone call could have resolved? Would he have just made himself at home (in my room) and made Dylan wait while he composed whatever urgent reply surely he would have had to...

And why am I even asking these question?

Didn't I just say I didn't want to live a suspicious life?

Yak... this is what I'm talking about.

And then... get this... since I'm being all suspicious, I decide to pop in on her email account(which I haven't done since like June/July) and find that either I've forgotten the password or she changed it. Most likely the later, but what is a suspicious mind going to do in a situation like this?

Yep. Freak out.

Which is exactly what I don't need.

So to heck with it.

I'm gonna go play some video games with my boy.

After all, technically she's not my wife or even my girlfriend and has, steadfastly over the last 13 months or so maintained that she has no interest in being so. It's just that having her around is pretty nice and we have intimate moments and I keep slipping into thinking we're in recovery. And this, although probably a natural reaction, keeps getting my hopes up which then allows them to be dashed when I realize it's all just an illusion I've set up to comfort myself.

Bah, there I go again... thinking too much... and worse, babbling on in a post.

What was I saying about video games?...

Oh yeah...

dewt

dewt, I understand what you are saying. AND, I also can see how her friend might have logged into his email over at your place. Occassionally, when I'd go to my girlfriend's house, and she wasn't ready yet, I'd check my accout ~ just to kill time, or check and see if I had any messages. He might not have even composed a message there, perhaps just checked his own.

AND, where does the suspicion game end? IF you two were in recovery, I could understand the need for her to be transparent. BUT, as you said, you aren't. At least she answered your question, at least you ASKED the question. To me, honestly, that is progress.

Communication (and honesty) have to begin somewhere. Maybe that somewhere needs to start as friends for you two.

I hope you had a GREAT time playing video games with your boy. THAT is what is really important ~ making memories together, IMO.

Spidey