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CarenMc Offline OP
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Well I won't have to worry about having any contact with WH since my stupid phone got shut off....lovely. I love playing musical utility bills it fricken rocks!!!! The cell phone got shut off too...so I won't have to worry about having contact with anybody.

Damn it, this makes my life just so much easier...go me.

-Caren

<small>[ March 19, 2005, 10:16 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

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the Lord moves in mysterious ways...

this may be the best thing to happen to you...

no phone...
no calls
priceless

ark

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CarenMc Offline OP
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I don't know why I try, I really have no idea. What the hell's the point? I get kicked when I'm down everytime.

-Caren

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I think the words of the great philosopher Jim Morrison are appropriate here... "I been down so long that it looks like up to me".

Hang in there.

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CarenMc Offline OP
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I've had it, I seriously have...I can't take anymore. I give up. He wins. I give up.

-Caren

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tqt Offline
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've had it, I seriously have...I can't take anymore. I give up. He wins. I give up.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Caren,
P'tooey! Whatever that means...
Excuse the language, but... ********!.
Now go write on the board a 1000 times:

I will not say stupid things.
I will not say stupid things.
I will not say stupid things.
go on... 997 to go...

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 03:54 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

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Caren,

It's time to focus on budgets then.

Take pencil and paper and start writing down your bills...and due dates.

Write down your income...and when those dates are.

Also, you need to seek some type of child support...albeit temporary.

Tighten your purse strings...no frivolities...if that means no hairdressers, no movies, and the like, so be it.

Prioritize and budget.

This will give you something to focus on other than his comings and goings.

committed

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Oh no!

I suppose if you stop posting we'll figure that your internet access went off too.

Hope things turn around money wise soon.

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CarenMc Offline OP
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Here's my budget....I am getting 250 dollars every 2 weeks because I'm on a leave of absence from work...so let's see, that's 500 dollars, and my rent is 650. Then I get 130 in child support...Oh cool that only puts me in the hole 20 dollars. Okay...can't pay my bills...don't make enough money.

When I am working, I make 400ish every 2 weeks...okay so that's 800 dollars, and then the 130 child support...that makes it 930...rent is 650.00......That leaves me 280 dollars to buy food, pay the electric, and the phone, not to mention gas for the car, and all my stupid medicine (which adds up to 75.00 a month) then the doctor wants to see me every month, that co-pay is 15.00.....so that's brings health care...JUST FOR ME, God forbid the kids get sick...to 90.00.

Yeah, I can't do it. Tightening my purse strings isn't going to do it, I can't raise 2 daughters on less than a thousand dollars a month.

-Caren

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{{{{Caren}}}},

I am so sorry you are struggling.Is it correct that you are only getting $130 per month in support??? That seems WAY too low.Is your WH not paying what he SHOULD or what is the deal?

O

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Caren - Can you get public assistance or food stamps for awhile to get you through this.?

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CarenMc Offline OP
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I don't have a lawyer, I can't afford one. The 130 child support is from my DD13 that isn't my WH's biological child.

WH was paying me $25.00 a week, but I haven't seen that since we got our tax return, I guess he thinks I'm rolling in it. He gave me a the state check ($100.00), but excuse me, 1/2 of that was mine anyway. I haven't cashed it...but I still owe February's rent and now my phone is off and I have a disconnect on the electric.

I can't really complain to him now can I, we're in Plan freakin B. And this just confirms one of his reasons for wanting to leave me to begin with...I can't pay the damn bills. I was in school attempting to get my RN so I would make enough money to do that..but alas, tough **** for me.

So, he's right...he should be with OW, she can pay her phone bill.

-Caren

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 03:56 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

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{{{{Caren}}}}}
I know how you feel. I just had to pay $115 for my electric bill or it was going to get shut off. Thank goodness I do have my parents who are helping me.. I'm hoping I have enough left over for groceries and gas for the week. UGGHHH!
My WH doesn't care at all.....he's out doing all sorts of fun things while I'm here stuggling. I hope he rots in ****!!!!

Hang in there...it will get better....there's nothing left but UP!!!!

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 03:59 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

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Caren,

Unfortunately it seems that the majority of your money is needed for rent. Is that the going rate for your area?

Sometimes it is necessary to move to a place that is less expensive. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No.

Is moving an option for you?

committed

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Caren,
I couldn't afford a lwayer either.....I went through legal aid and I only had to pay $50. I love my lawyer and she is really good. Check out Legal aid in your area.
I just got a call from my lawyer today. I had to make an appt. for March 2nd. They got my WH's response and need to counter respond. He's not agreeing to ANYTHING!!!!

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And i thought I was the only one without a phone. We don't have a home phone just use the cell phones. Well brilliant me put my pants in the washer without checking the pockets and you guessed it, my cell phone was in the pocket. I have learned that cell phones don't know how to swim!

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CarenMc Offline OP
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That's really about the going rate around here, and even if I could find someplace cheaper...I don't have the money for the deposit and 1st months rent.

I borrowed money from my sister to get into this place, I told her I had no idea when I'd be able to pay her back....and I still have no idea, and she can't loan me anymore.

My Mom and Dad have tried to help where they can, but can only do so much, they're on a fixed income. I feel like such a ******* loser.

-Caren

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 04:02 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

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Caren,

So sorry to hear that you are struggling so financially.

I admit I have been concerned about this aspect for quite some tim enow..but didn't want to stick my nose in <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I would definitely get on every single gov't program available for the time being..

oh..but then..then it is probably time to take some honest stock about your financial situation and make some changes.

When my H had his A..I had been a housewife for a time. Not necessarily by desire but by the lack of good choices that face many families, as a result I was quite shockingly made aware of the fact that I was completely dependant on a man who would willingly harm me for pleasure.

That isn't sustainable for me..and I am a few short weeks away from never ever being in that position again. I will never trust him to take care of me..I will mend the marriage but I will always be in a position of strength.

It sounds though..that in your situation perhaps even as a team you and your H aren't really financially savvy?

I have heard you describe your situation as being very dire..really living below poverty level and then next hear of some new purchase that I would probably consider out of my price range and I have to wonder how you are sustaining this?

I have wondered if perhaps you have trouble discerning just what would be an appropriate budget for someone at your income ..and I think a financial advisor could really help you out.

I would also consider going back to work full time..I know you are going through a difficult time..but let's be frank..though you are upset..you are not huddled in the fetal position eating your hair..you are functional, go function. I don't know what part of the country you live in..so your wages may be less dire than they appear from where I am sitting..but 800.00 a month for full time employment [I assume that is net?] seems awfully little. Is there nowhere else you can work? Even if it is outside your field? Or a second part time job?

Well..someone can work with you on the specifics..it's the general principle of actually living beneath your means..whatever your means are..that allows you a cushion to soften the blow.

Best of luck to you, let me know if I can help

Noodle

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Caren,

We are not talking complaining here,we are talking basic survival.Your WH should be giving you at least enough to survive in the house with your child.It just doesn't add up.He cannot leave you high and dry.Please see if there is a Lawyer that might be willing to do some pro bono work for you or at least get more information as to what your right's are.It is wintertime and you need to have a place to live and electricity.

YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!! You are a "victim" of circumstance right now.And at the helm is your cheating H.If your son of a biscuit WH makes at least $20,000 per year,he can afford to give you more.

O

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CarenMc Offline OP
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Caren - Can you get public assistance or food stamps for awhile to get you through this.?

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Believer-

I need to go in, but I dont have ANY of the documents I need...like proof of ID and stuff. He took the file box with him when he moved, I forgot all about it until I was getting the last of my stuff out, so I asked him if he had it and he said "Yeah, why should you have it?" I said "I dunno, because it's mine?" He said "Well it just has income tax stuff in it" I said "No, it has some other things too" He said "No, I checked, it only has like my car payment receipts and stuff and the income tax records".

So the birth certificates are in there, but he won't let me have it.

They need picture ID, SS Cards, Birth Certificate, Proof of income, Lease. Suffice to say it doesn't help me right now, I'd have to get the new birth certificates, I put the electric in DD19's name, so that means they are going to have to consider her income as well....and that means that it's going to lower any benefit I do get, and my checks are direct deposited, so I don't even have anything to show proof of income.

I swear I can't do this anymore. I can only be so strong and do so much. It doesn't make me want to break my plan B, I had my sister call him and tell him the phone was off and I'd have DD10 call him later, for fear he'd fricken be over here if he couldn't get ahold of us.

This **** is HIS fault........why do I feel like a piece of ****?

-Caren

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 04:11 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

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