I had an email today from a friend of mine who I hope to visit soon. She voiced sympathy for my situation and said it was chillingly familiar. Ten years ago, within days of her 50th birthday, her husband "suddenly" decided he didn't want to be married. He moved out of their lovely, ancient house and filed for divorce. My friend was blindsided and devastated.

Her WH was the headmaster of a school, a very visible and responsible position. He left it soon after his A, of course there was an A, came to light. The WH began to live with an old girlfriend, "the woman I should have married" said he. My friend was a basketcase for months. She doubted her whole life. Her kids, almost adults at the time, felt that their dad wished they had never been born. All the ground rules this family had for life had been changed. The divorce happend. The beautiful, old house was sold. My friend had to work more hours. The kids tried to find a way to reconcil their existence with that of their dad. A familiar theme to many of us.

Now, we're 10 years down the road and my friend is amazing. She says she didn't know that life could START after 50. She bought a cute little cottage. Her kids have grown, gotten through school and are married. She's a grandmother. Nine years ago, she met a man in her divorce support group. He had been seriously burned by his XW. This group did things together socially and eventually my friend and the man started hanging out together more and more. Both had been hurt so badly that it took a long time for them to trust anybody. It took him 8 years to pop the question. In June, they are getting married!

I can't wait to talk to them on my trip. You can bet that both of them are "affair-proof". I really want to know what happen to WXH...