A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assisitant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

LOL, I hope Believer reads this too.

he he he.... Hey NOW* when I'm not wearing my army suit I work for the government!

What a hoot! I'll have to copy this and send it to my boss!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

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<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

That was great NOW. My new job is in support of a government contract.

Speaking as a fearless Libertarian, I can only say "I LOVE IT" -- hee hee

David

NOW - Great to see this post. I am so f'ing angry, I don't want to go to work Monday. Why can't the government work like a business? There are sooooooo many people where I work that wouldn't have a job if they worked for private industry. However, they think they are overworked and underpaid. YIKES!

Thanks, NOW--I needed this! B...oh so true. Been using up my sick time left and right. I'm tired. Only way to put it. There's gotta be a bigger plan for me, right?!?!? Gonna start using LM's sig line, well sorta: "I'm the one that doesn't 'get it!'"

Believer, I'm with you.

When my reserve unit deployed, half of us had civillian jobs in industry. The other half had civillian jobs working for the government.

On the deployment the guys who worked for the government kept saying how fast the pace was and how long the days were.

Those of us who worked in industry felt like it was a vacation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />