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#1321874 03/12/05 11:21 AM
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I haven't been here in a while. Things are moving along quickly for me and it seems that I haven't had any time at all to come to MB for more than a few minutes to skim through.

A quick update for those interested.....

my house is up for sale as of this morning.

divorce is scheduled for April 22nd.

Dork is on his way home....he left SAT last Saturday on has only made it to Colorado <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

he is still giving me the line that he wants to work on things when he gets home but hasn't shown the least bit of ambition towards action on that front. OH WAIT..... he sends me a picture of himself almost everyday. He really does crack me up.

I think he needs a place to stay when he gets back and that his little 'perfect' relationship blew up in his face. That's what the wanting to work it out is driven by.

Personally, I am feeling strong and empowered by the actions I've taken towards a new and better life. I haven't accepted another job yet but it has been for the best since getting this house on the market has been a full time job. I have the apartment picked out and most of our items in storage for a quick move once the house does sell.

It's hard to believe, but the weight I've felt for the last 9 months has all but evaporated. Once I redefined my own definition of 'winning'....and realized it didn't include a man with no desire to change.... I was able to really start letting go and seeing the last 11 years for what they really were rather than what I wanted to believe they were. I finally saw myself as more than mother and wife...I found FIM. And FIM and children deserve more than what we settled for.

So....that's FIM land right now. I miss this place.

I'm meeting with the realator in a few minutes, but I wanted to post really quick and thank each and every person that has supported me, kicked my butt and read my saga.

I can honestly say that I don't believe I would change a minute of the last year because it has brought me to where I am today. That is thanks to too many people to name here.

So

THANK YOU to MB and the wonderful people here.

Paula

#1321875 03/12/05 11:28 AM
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Hi, FIM.

I am glad things are going well for you.

You are still, "Da Bomb".

All the best,
Gimble

#1321876 03/12/05 11:38 AM
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Good for you FIM......

You and your children do deserve more. You deserve all the best that life has to give.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

You have been a great example for many who come here. You have been for me.

K <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#1321877 03/12/05 11:58 AM
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Paula I am so glad to hear YOU are moving forward! He MAY surprise everyone and come around...but I think it iwll be too late unfortunately for HIM...I think of you often...keep in touch with all of us here!

#1321878 03/13/05 12:11 AM
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FiM,

I was just logging it to see how you were doing! You sound strong and focused. I am glad for you and your kidlets.

~ Snow

#1321879 03/12/05 01:45 PM
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FIM,

Glad to hear from you. HOw is dork traveling by wagon train?

L.

#1321880 03/12/05 01:55 PM
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I am so glad to hear from you, you sound GREAT!!!

You deserve more than a WH or an unrepentant FWH.

I like what you are doing with your hair?...no...life!!!

Time for a new life, and it doesn't include a WH in it. Looking back over your M, you've realized how much you have put up with...
A new M would be exactly that...NEW!!!! Either with him or someone else. This past year has given you the experiences to make those changes. After my H's last A it was an 'opportunity' to do it right this time...(it sure didn't feel like it at the time...)

Whatever happened with the CO and the last letter you sent?

Think of you often!!!

#1321881 03/12/05 03:14 PM
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FIM,

Thank you for letting us know what is happening.
Following your journey has helped me clarify a lot of issues in my own marriage. For that I am VERY thankful to you.
I am wishing you and your children the very best.

#1321882 03/12/05 04:24 PM
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So glad to hear you have peace about moving on. You are an inspiration!

I can honestly say that if this were the first A, I would encourage you to make another attempt but seeing how this has happened before, I fully support your decision. You deserve so much better as well as your children. There's a special man out there to add to your life.

Go and be happy...be very happy.

#1321883 03/12/05 11:40 PM
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FIM,

I don't post much, but I check every day to see how you are doing.

I'm glad you are moving on and planning a life with or without him. He would have to make some big personal changes in order to win/earn you back.

Good luck and may God bless you and yours.

#1321884 03/13/05 03:51 PM
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I'm always wondering how you are and you sound great. One day at a time. One day at a time.

#1321885 03/16/05 08:13 PM
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Gimble:
<strong> Hi, FIM.

I am glad things are going well for you.

You are still, "Da Bomb".

All the best,
Gimble </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You're gonna make me blush <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> As it turns out, I didn't have a warrior at all, let alone one who could breach my fortress with honesty and integrity. That visual kept me motivated more than you know.

K, M23B and Snowbelle,

Thank you. I really am finding strength in moving forward. It's not the path I would have chosen, but one I am glad I have taken.

Orchid,

Dork is travelling by way of my pickup. You know that transmission he had replaced in SAT? Well, he blew it again in Burlington, Colorado. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

He called for money and I just politely told him I have myself and my three children to take care of and I couldn't help him out.

After about 20 calls from him I finally answered and said ..... (not for sensitive eyes) "When you decided to F your girlfriend is about the same time I stopped being responsible for your F up's." Click.

Apparently his mom paid for it and he's still on his way back here. Is it completely horrible of me to enjoy the vision of him sitting on the side of the freeway in Colorado with no money? Oh well. I'm not perfect <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

StillHereMakingIt,

I'm not sure what's happening with the investigation. I passed on my stuff and hope there are repercussions for both of their behaviour but I haven't been obsessing about it....or even thinking much about it really. I'd ask Dork, but I doubt I'll get a true answer anyway. I thought about calling the CO but figured that then I look like the vengeful ex and much prefer to have just let them know and walked away.

Pickles, jph, RAG and newjersey,

Thank you for thinking of me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Like I said before, I am very excited (and a bit scared) about where life is going to take me in the next year. It can't be worst than last year though....(knock on wood).

Paula

#1321886 03/16/05 09:49 PM
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FIM -

I see you are still hanging in there. Good for you for being strong. There comes a point where you need to look out for you and your wonderful family - which may or may not include your WH.

You are doing just fine. Let him reap the results of his poor decisions.

#1321887 03/16/05 11:24 PM
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Wow Fim,

You constantly amaze me. Dork ought t/b scared very scared..... he has a BS who isn't afraid to use whatever tools at her disposal to keep herself safe. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> That comeback was clever. Musta set him back a couple of states.... LOL!!!

So where is Miss OW $$bags? Why isn't she bailing his azz out? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

L.

#1321888 03/18/05 08:11 AM
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Hope things are starting to go your way. Did he ever make it back? How are the kids doing? Is the new phone schedule working for them? Hope the house sells for a good price. Hugs Jersey

#1321889 03/19/05 02:27 AM
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Ok it's been 6 days since he was in Colorado. Now I know a WS can make it to your area in a couple of days since an Xws some of know from here zipped out that way when he was in the fog and he got there lickity split...... so is da' dork pullin' that truck or it is carrying him? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

#1321890 03/19/05 03:08 PM
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Bump!

#1321891 03/20/05 07:28 AM
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You out there faith?

#1321892 03/23/05 12:34 AM
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faith? is he there?

faithinme #1321893 03/30/05 12:23 PM
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[color:"purple"] I am so happy MB is back up! I don't even care too much that I can't stay logged in more than a few minutes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> [/color]

Since I've been trying to log on and respond for quite a while now, I'll just give a super quick update....something new for me:)

Dork is back here. He's staying in the basement since I can't legally keep him out.

The house sold in 5 days!!!!

I'm looking for work.

The divorce is less than a month away.

Dork irritates the h e double hockey sticks out of me every time he breathes. I can't stand being around him. I think repulsed is the most accurate term I can come up with.

Of course, he thinks that since he's been here since March 17th and only occasionally talks to OW, that I should totally see that he is TRULY trying this time.

He's serious, guys. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> How can you not believe him?

Anyway, now he wants to be by my side every second. He wants to try and show me he can be a better husband than ever before.

Funny thing is.... I've realized that really wouldn't take much being that what I thought was so wonderful was pretty much a fantasy.

Oh, and there's that whole talk is cheap thing too.

Yeah, he's changed his geography. He drove back here. Whoop de freakin doo!

Anyway, I gotta go.

Good things...... I am happy. I am excited about beginning a new stage in my life. Divorce sucks. There is no getting around that. It hurts everyone...especially the kids. It's sad that staying with someone like him, who is a serial cheater (Yes. I finally accepted that too) and doesn't see it, is more harmful than divorce.

Anyway, I am really happy to have MB back up. Even though I don't post as much right now, I have to have my daily fix <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move your feet.
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