I am the SSOM(sorry stinkin' Other Man)! I know all you BSs hate us but we have feelings too! So here's my story:

Edited by ssom: Never mind!

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 07:31 AM: Message edited by: SSOM ]</small>

people here can not help you in your quest to destroy a marriage and innocent people..

this is not to say that every marriage should be kept together...

but it is to say that no one here can assist you on building anything out of yours and her relationship which is based on lies, chaos, pain and dishonesty and cruelity...

those things hold no honor nor value in this world....

you should go no contact with her..inspite of your feelings...
and learn to act and live noblely
otherwise short precious time is wasted in pain and destruction...

ARK

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 06:52 AM: Message edited by: ark^^ ]</small>

SOS m:
(and yes, you do need some Help)

Perhaps in your mind you are being "sincere" .......however, on this topic and issue YOU Are Sincerely WRONG! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

In addition, Your not going to get the answers you Desire from a Pro-Marriage website.

Yes, you will get some honest and straight "advice"........but its highly unlikely YOU would Ever Follow any of it (Cause it sure isn't going to fit into the "fantasy" world you've created for yourself).

As I've been on more of a positive kick here lately.....I'll stop for now.

I'm sure that there will be plenty to follow that will give you all the "truth" you can handle.

Guess I'll end with this:
Tell your lady friend to get a D First......THEN (& Only Then) start hooking up and actually "dating" any man she is attracted too.
Common Sense when you really think about it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

(Oh right, but when did "sense" and affairs EVER go together <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> ??)

Before I read your post. We all help each other here. You made a mistake so lets work together to help each other through this. Ok now I/m going back to read you post. Don't worry. There are alott of OM & OW here and we get along. Unless your my W's OM then we might have words. Just kidding. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SSOM - "Thou shalt NOT commit adultery."

No "and's, if's, or but's" about it.

Period.

What part of God's COMMAND is unclear or doesn't apply to YOU?

You found the most beautiful and perfect house, car, horse, whatever. But it belongs to someone else.

You WANT it. You NEED it.

As long as it's what YOU want, the "ends justify the means."

Lemme go off and quietly puke on your imagined wedding cake. Neither you nor the Wayward Wife understands the first thing about the commitment and covenant of MARRIAGE.

Lust? You've got that nailed and call it "soulmate love."

Puppy love.

Maturity? Neither one of you.

Obedience to God? Not for you, you ARE your own god.

Want others here to help you, thereby "justifying" in your mind that what you are trying to do (destroy a marriage and a husband and family) is "okay"?

Not going to happen.

A relationship based upon lies and sin will not prosper, no matter how your "feelings" are lying to you right now.

Covet? You've got that nailed. So where will your covetousness end? Who or what will be next on your list of "YOU DESERVE IT regardless of anything or anyone else?"

Get real. Get a life. Stop being an adolescent child.

Ok, there is no way you can have contact with this woman again. None. She is still married and you should leave it at that. I know now you feel that you need her but If she is willing to leave him for you then what will happen in a few years when you become old hat? Just as I tell my wife it takes two here to betray that man. In case you can't see look at all the pain you are causing. You are destroying there lives. This relationship you have with her is built on lies and deciet. Is that how you want to start out a relationship with a woman? Please think about it. I'm not getting on you, I'm just giving you a clear perspective. I hope you reply. I'll check back later.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am the SSOM(sorry stinkin' Other Man)! I know all you BSs hate us but we have feelings too!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hate's not a good word but you'd probably dislike anything else I had to say even more. We understand you have feelings SO DO WE--and NO!!!!! just because we can see that you are WS are happy together does not mean we will eventually be happy for you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm in love with the perfect woman.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Perfect women do not have affairs and destroy their loved ones.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">soul mate.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'll bet she thought that about her husband when they met and fell in love. Oh, she might say differently now...but...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The love I feel for her is unlike anything I've ever experienced. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We don't doubt that. But we do rather think that a lot of that has to do with the nature of an affair. What you're feeling is not based on 100% truth and light. It's based on darkness and secretiveness and devastation. How can you feel good about your relationship with all that baggage. You know, I don't like being me in this situation sometimes but I sure wouldn't want to be the WS or OP.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know that she's the woman I've been searching for my whole life. The problem is that she's married, Of course.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You've been searching for someone who has a history of wreaking havoc and devastation? One who cannot honor her promises or commitment? One who seeks OTHERS to solve her problems rather than getting her own ducks in a row first? That's kinda scary!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is trying to tell her husband that she wants a divorce but when she does, he freaks out and she just puts it off. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Excuses. If she really wanted to be with you, she would. after all, in the perfect fantasy world aren't there places you could run away to? Couldn't you get ROs against the husband? If what's he's saying is true and credible, you should anyway. as long as she still has feelings for you, you're in danger.

I don't htink you're going to find the answeres here you seek, but if you want to stop the madness and are willing to be without her in order to do that, this is the place to be.

SSOM-

I know it feels like she's your soulmate...but she's someone else's wife.

You're not going to get help to *win* her over to your side, but we can help you work through the way you're feeling.

We don't hate OM's and OW's in general, we usually just hate our spouses OM or OW...LOL

Heck, one of my best friends was someone's OW for a while, and she became quite suicidal after breaking it off.

Extra-marital relationships are doomed to failure SSOM because they are built on lies, they are built on another's pain, and that is no basis for any relationship.

Keep posting, there are TONS of OM's/OW's on here that can help you, that understand where you're coming from.

-Caren

[QUOTE]Originally posted by SSOM:

I am the SSOM(sorry stinkin' Other Man)!
1. how well u know urself

[QB] I know all you BSs hate us but we have feelings too!
2. What type of feelings and how do u deal with them PROPERLY and DECENTLY

I'm in love with the perfect woman.
3. Guess u don't know what 'perfect' means. HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO! She's been 'IN LOVE' before...with her HUSBAND! Ask her if there ever was a time when she felt she would be 'SOOOOOOOOOOO LOST' without HIM!

Now here's a question for u to ask urself:

"...if she could leave/divorce one man for me, i wonder if one day in the future I could now be in the same position as that man?"

So you think your darling woman tells the truth?

Let's see. She's lied to her husband. She's lied to God. Hmmmm. What makes you better than the two she took vows with??

Ditch the loser woman. I know you think you love her more than life itself. But my guess is that she's lying to you so that she can get rid of the stress of lying to her husband and to God.

Married women who cheat are liars.

p.s. to RHM - U R TOO NICE!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 07:12 AM: Message edited by: alwaysONE ]</small>

All I can say is: "OW had a life "before" you came around and she'll have her life when you are "out"!

I also wanted to mention that I in NO way hate you.

Just think about your actions: What goes around, comes around and do you honestly believe that oyu will ever be able to trust this person for what she is doing???

take care
bb

You are sleeping with someone else's wife......she's not your soulmate!!!!!!! Honestly, would you want to be with this person who can easily cheat on another person that she made a commitment to? Think about it!!!!! She'll do it to you one day too.
Leave her alone and move on....find someone who isn't wearing a wedding band!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are sleeping with someone else's wife......she's not your soulmate!!!!!!! Honestly, would you want to be with this person who can easily cheat on another person that she made a commitment to? Think about it!!!!! She'll do it to you one day too.
Leave her alone and move on....find someone who isn't wearing a wedding band!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm.....

BANG

We are a pro-marriage site, your request is very anti-MB.

Re-state your statement and question, and maybe we can help you. I'll give you an example. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I have made a huge mistake, I have allowed myself to get involved with a MW. Please advise me with a plan of action to completely break all contact with this woman for I can not destroy her family any longer. How do I go about making things right??

Then we can all reply in great MB fashion. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

While I'm at it, I would also like a chocolate producing tree in my backyard. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I sure hope you see the light of day, having an A, is never the right thing to do.

Kyellow4

SSOM,

If she does leave her family for you there will be a period of time when you feel like the luckiest man in the world. Then as your relationship moves from the fantasy stage into the realms of reality little things will start chipping away at your image of her as the "perfect" woman.

As others have pointed out you should already know she isn't perfect because no matter what her rationalization for having an affair with you might be she already has the following list of imperfections...
She is a liar.
She is deceitful.
She keeps secrets from the man she vowed before God to put before of all others.
She is an adulteress.
She is selfish.
She is untrustworthy.

I could go on and on.
The thing is – you already subconsciously know these things, but you are in “the fog” right now so you refuse to see them. As you face the reality of life with her that will slowly change.

I’m sure that she has told you many bad things about her husband. She’s told you how jealous he is and how controlling he is. I’m sure he has many other faults, but that’s a usual starting place.

Let me tell you what is likely to happen after you’ve been with her for a while…

You will start questioning things she does and says. Because of the way you got together you will have a little button with a question mark on it deep in your brain that you will subconsciously push every time one of these little anomalies comes up. What that little button does each time it is pushed is it places one tiny grain of doubt into your conscious mind. It won’t bother you much for a while, but eventually that growing little pile of doubt grains will coalesce into suspicion. You will start actively questioning her about your suspicions and she will respond by clamming up and becoming more secretive. She will accuse you of not trusting her and being controlling. She will find somebody who “understands” her that she can confide in about her jealous controlling husband.

Do you see a pattern here?

I’m not saying this to be mean or condescending… I’m speaking from personal experience SSOM.
I went down the same road you are facing now about eight years ago. I can only wish that I knew about MB then. My life would be much different now.

Cruz

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by SSOM:
<strong> I am the SSOM(sorry stinkin' Other Man)! I know all you BSs hate us but we have feelings too! So here's my story:

Edited by ssom: Never mind! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your edited before I had a chance to read your 'story' ... so I can only comment on what is left of your original post.

Yes, you have feelings. Who doesn't?

I don't 'hate' you.

I don't respect your decisions. And I do have distain for your poor choices.

Everyone has feelings. Not everyone lives their life selfishly nursing their 'feelings' while destroying their moral /ethical boundaries.

You do. But that's fixable.

Pep

I was once told that if a woman will leave someone to be with you, she will eventually leave you to be with someone else. Pretty simple country logic if you ask me. But there is a lot of truth in that theory. Dont continue to be a fool.

It jusy goes to show you that even cowards have feelings

Mac