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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Hi, I usually post on GQ2 but have recently filed for D. We have not told our DD12 yet or our disabled DS6. Just wanted to know the best way to break an upcoming D to your children. WH is still living at home and we are not sure yet when he will move out.
Thank you.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416 |
I, personally, think it is something that y'all ought to sit down and do together. No accusations, no fault, no blaming.
Just sit down with them and tell them that y'all are getting divorced. If you have a parenting plan worked out that is going to be stuck to, then explain it to them. Reassure them that you both love them very much and that they in no way caused the divorce. And allow them to ask y'all questions.
Mine never cared about who did what to whom, they were heart broken and needed reassurance that we loved them, where they were going to sleep, what was going to happen to their possessions, and when they were going to see each of us.
Your 12yo is of the age where I'm sure she's quite aware of what the implications of divorce are but your 6yo may lack understanding in the perminance of the situation. So it may take a while for things to truly sink in for him. IMHO you'll need to watch your daughter very closely for any signs of emotional problems. This is coming at an already akward age for her when nature is already having her focus internally. If you can swing it, it would definately be benificial to get her into some short term counseling. Many insurances will cover that.
The day I changed my girls' lives is a day I will never forget and I don't envy you one little bit.
Hugz, Thoughts, & Prayers
Hugz, Thoughtz, & Prayerz
Bill
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Bill, thank you for your response. I worry a lot about my DD. She is very sensitive and I know will take this very hard. How honestly do we answer her questions if she asks why? My tendancy in the beginning is just to say that we tried very hard (she knows we went to C for a year) but just couldn't work things out. She does not know about the A's or that my WH has an OC yet. I hate to overwhelm a pre-adolescent with TMI right up front.
Opinions?
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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