Pebs - congrats on taking back control of your life.

It was your H's decision to separate from you and your family. Now it's YOUR decision to STAY separated. You control the interactions and he has no control until he's willing to meet your criteria.

What did you decide to do about sending the PBL to the in-laws?

WAT

So, Pebbles.

How are you doing?

Gimble

We're gonna leave that one alone.... just let it sit there.... no comment whatsoever because this is a family show. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


I'm so glad he's finally getting through to you. It's all your fault <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

I told my good friend tonight that I just want WW to hit Rock Bottom so she can see how she's thrown her life away. My buddy is an MD with Psych training. He said, that's if she has a bottom. What could she lose to make her realize HER decisions are the cause of her pain? How about WH. Sound like Skankasauras is past Wolf ugly, so that's not it.


WW took ours to Europe with her.


I do. I try not to think about how I let DS8 down. Then I realize WW is a PSYCHOPATH <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> DS18 is coming around now. He's started calling me again. I told him to talk to a good family friend for advice so he didn't feel like he was taking sides. I think he'll see my point of view anyway. He's a bright young man. His finals are over on Friday. Sorry if I seem like I'm fishing for sympathy.

I got a hostage call from DS8 today. WW putting every word in his mouth from the background. He "talked to someone about mom and dad." I hope that's good. He also went to see Star Wars. I kind of wanted to do that with him.

My SIL asked if I would take WW back now. Only if the Mother ship returns her brain with modifications. No controlling. No uncontrolled anger. She'll have to ask me to marry her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> I hope she has a bottom.

Sleep tight young lady!

SIS (Threadjacker <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />)

Sleepless - that's skankylosaur and coyote ugly. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

WAT

Hi, Pebbles.

Please let us know how you are doing, even if you have messed up your plans.

We are here to help.

God bless,
Gimble

Plan B is for WH, not us!

Pebbles,

I'm also checking in for an update.

Cat

Sleepless, actually it's the other way 'round, I believe.

Plan B is primarily for the BS, although it's potential affects on the WS should not be ignored.

WAT

Pebbles,

Dropped in here to see how you are, but you have not been here in a few! Add me to those that would like to know how you are!! I know that it must be hard. And like Gimble says, if u mes up, sooo what, still tell us.

Loook, your support is right here. ______________________

There's alot of it at MB, that why I like it here.

jls

I told him I had 'plans' for my birthday. He didn't ask with whom, and I didn't volunteer the information. I am going to dress as I would for a night out with a 'special friend.'
Surely you are NOT trying to give him the impression that you might be seeing someone else?
If so, this would also give him the impression that you are not interested in being married (along with divore papers), regardless of what you say.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Notso glances casually at her watch.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Waiting very patiently.

"When Pebbles is ready, she will post," she says quietly to herself.

And then keeps waiting patiently.


{{{{{{{{{{{Pebbles}}}}}}}}}}}}

If she's in Plan B, then she should be away living her Plan B life to the fullest, right? Pebbles knows where to go if she has any questions, needs support, or is having lapses in her NC with her WH.

Any talk about her WH other than what is necessary for her to share in order to tweak her Plan B is indirect contact. No contact includes indirect contact.

I don't want to hear about Mr. Pebbles - right now he's yethterday'th duckieth. If Pebbles can spare a moment from the socializing and flying free, I'd love to hear about HER! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Me too Notso! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

This is Pebbles' time to rejuvenate in preparation for what comes next. I'm looking forward to reading about all the ways that she will do that during her Plan B time.

Oh, you guys! It's so sweet of you to think of me! I actually got teary-eyed when I saw your posts.

I'm just checking in quickly - more later.

For the last two days I have been camping with my whole class of fourth graders. We went gold panning, slept in tents, sang campfire songs, square danced and more. It was so much fun!! My daughter/student had a great time too, even though she got poison oak. I just got home after driving four hours with five boys from my class in my car. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> We are all sunburned, smelly, and covered with dirt and mosquito bites. As my boys would say, it rocked! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So, no contact with WH was a given. I didn't even have cell phone service where we were. I do have some news about what he was up to while I was away. I'll post it later.

One contact problem/question. WH was supposed to pick up the kids for dinner tonight. My class was very late returning from the field trip, plus we have the poison oak, lack of showers situation. I called our son and asked him if he would call his dad to see if the visit could be switched to another night. Son told me that WH wanted me to call him back to discuss it (even though WH already told our son that he couldn't visit tomorrow and would probably have to cancel completely this week).

Of course, in Plan B I can't call him back. Did he not even read my letter? Did he forget or not understand? Or is he trying to have contact in spite of the letter? Please advise.

Thanks again for thinking of me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your posts.

Hi Pebbles,

Glad you're back and glad you had FUN! I'm not the wisest idiot in the bunch, but I'll take a stab. He is probably trying to have contact regardless. Good sign, maybe. Not believing you mean it all< probably>

Don't call him back, Pebbles. Stick to your letter, whatever you do. He read the letter, he is just trying to see how serious you are. Do NOT return his call. If he persists in contacting you, ask him if he has read your letter and then ask him to please respect your wishes for no contact. Then politely hang up the phone. There is no reason he can't set up visits with those kids directly.

Pebbles,
Sounds like you had a great time. I'm so glad you weren't sitting in the corner with the shades drawn!! I don't know much, but everything that I read, you need to make plan B a strong one! Give your kids the calendar and they can set up the next visit. You are in plan B, to make it effective you know what you have to do. Don't fall for his lame attempts. He needs to earn his way back home. This is why I have yet to institute plan B for my sitch. Timing is everything. This is your time. You are in control. Be strong and take care of yourself and your kids. You can do this!

I will not be calling WH about rescheduling his visitation. After talking to our son, I think he and WH covered everything and there is no need for me to get involved. I don't think WH would have just thrown the Plan B letter away without reading it, so I agree that he must want to see if I am serious about having no contact with him. It does make me want to ask him if he read the letter or just threw it away unread, but I won't ask unless he keeps trying to contact me. I really didn't think he would try to get me to contact him (so soon, anyway). I thought he would ignore the letter and me for as long as possible. It seems hard just to ignore his call, though. I've been brought up to return phone calls (but in this case, I won't).

A neighbor I ran into this evening and my parents (who were watching our son) saw WH while I was away. None of them had seen WH in the four months since he left us. All three of them told me he looks terrible, like he has aged at least 10 years. My neighbor asked if WH had been sick. I have noticed the last few times I saw WH that he looked a bit haggard - sunken cheeks, hair much more gray, much thinner, big dark circles under the eyes. Maybe la la land isn't all wine and roses. Or maybe he is trying to look older, since MOW is older, LOL.

Oh, pre-Plan B I did not purposely try to give WH the impression that I was seeing a man per se. I just didn't give him much information about what I was up to. When I saw him, I just made sure I looked especially nice and was on my way somewhere sometimes. He could use his imagination, if he wanted to, to fill in the blanks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hee, hee...A cute single dad with a great sense of humor tried to strike up a friendship with me during the camping field trip. He was a parent chaperone with another school attending the camp and was in my activity group. He asked one of my parent chaperones (who knows what is going on with me) about my 'situation.' I guess he had heard my students call me "Mrs. Pebbles," but I had taken off my wedding ring during some of the activities we were doing (the diamond sticks up and gets stuck in things sometimes). He was 32 years old. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Perhaps I haven't become quite as haggard-looking as WH. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Or maybe he likes older women (I do have all my own teeth, LOL). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Of course, I'm not in the dating market right now, but it was certainly flattering.

Hi, Pebbles.

I am glad that you are back and doing well!

He did NOT throw the letter away without reading it. He has it folded up in his wallet.

Here is my guess. He read the letter, and he didn't share it with other woman. When she gets hers, she will ask if he got his, and a really 'good' discussion will ensue because he didn't tell her. What will they do? How can they manipulate the minds of the masses without contact! Why the NERVE of you to cut him off like that!! See, that is why she is so right for him, and he should pay more attention to what she tells him to do in the future.

Expect more contact attempts, and as you thwart those, expect him to become more devious. He is going to need his Pebbles fix badly in a few days. This is good. The fun part is him trying to contact you on the sly from her.

I do hope that you learned the proper way to roast a marshmallow. That is to catch it on fire and rotate it on the stick until the entire marshmallow is black, but not completely melted.

God bless,
Gimble