Hi, Cat.

Ahh, SF. I have a vague recollection of what that is. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Let's just say four months without is a really looooong time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> I'm glad things are going well for you, Cat.

At this point, I do still want him to come back. If he had been the dork that he is now before the affair, I might not care, but he was a wonderful husband and father for so many years (our 16th anniversary is in July, and we dated for almost 8 years before we married). I don't know about being strong. I think I'm just doing what I have to do to survive and protect the children. I must fake 'strong' well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> I do get a lot of great advice here.

Cat, I wish I had known before what I know now about keeping a marriage strong. I probably wouldn't be in this situation. I think you are very wise to learn everything you can now, at the beginning of your marriage.

Hmmmm, now that was odd. I was sitting here at the computer, where I have an excellent view out the front window. A car just like WH's slowed down almost to a stop in front of our house, then continued down the street. The only reason I even looked is the dogs ran to the front door and started barking.

Our next-door neighbors have a car exactly like WH's, so at first I thought it might be them, but their car is in their driveway. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. Note to self: switch to caffeine-free Diet Pepsi.

Strange...

Hi, Pebbles.

It probably was hubby. I am positive that he is worried he will find an unfamiliar car in the driveway.

Have fun.

Gimble

A lady of good taste! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Gimble. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi, MelodyLane, too. I must have been posting at the same time you were. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Okay, now I'm really confused.

I was in another room of the house and heard the dogs barking like crazy at the front door. I looked out the front door peek hole and WH was standing there. I didn't hear him knock or ring the doorbell. I didn't open the door or say anything. The kids aren't here (out with my parents), so it is very quiet. After a few seconds, WH walked back to his car and left.

I waited a few minutes, then checked to see if he left a note on the door or something. Nothing.

What in the world????

Oh, Gimble, there is a strange car parked in front of my house, but I don't know whose it is. Someone visiting the neighbors across the street parked in front of our house Friday night and their car has been parked in front of our house ever since. When my parents came over to pick up the kids, they said that with the car parked there it looked like we had a visitor.

Again, what in the world is going on??? It's almost creepy.

Hi, Pebbles.

If you are sure that it is the neighbor's friend's car, then don't worry.

If indeed that is the case, then my guess is that hubby is about over the top thinking someone is visiting YOU :-)

Somedays, out of the cold blue, you just get lucky.

Since you have engineered nothing, and manipulated nothing, I recommend that you just enjoy!

Gimble

Gimble, when I looked out the peek hole and saw WH standing there, I about fell over. I don't know why he didn't knock or ring the bell. Or maybe I just didn't hear it, since I was in the back of the house.

Oh, about the strange car. I didn't mean to give the impression that I thought it was strange as in spying on me or something, just strange as in unfamiliar to WH. It is kind of funny that it would look like someone is visiting me/us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> I'd love to know what WH is thinking right now.

Ok, I must admit, I am enjoying this immensely! Pebbles, your Plan B is probably driving him crazy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

he probably had his ear to the door trying to hear what was going on with your "company"!!!!LOLOLOL

Hi, MelodyLane and nikko.

You know, if I hadn't been home to see it myself, I would never have believed he would drive by and stop in front of the house, then a couple hours later actually come to the door but not knock or ring the bell. For someone who doesn't care, he sure wasted a lot of his time on me/us today.

Oh, the car that was in front of my house just left, LOL.

oh! So your boyfriend left?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

**SNORT**

sheesh and you thought he was enjoying Plan B and his freedom from you =)

OH pebbles....he is just stewing...he is starting to panic....I love it girl....you hhaaaave the poooower.....hehehe

Hee, hee, MelodyLane. The car belonged to a college-age boy. I am old enough to be his...um...older sister. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

BrambleRose, it would seem WH has some free time on his hands, wouldn't it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I don't want to let myself take WH's behavior as a good sign. Anything could happen next. I don't want to get my hopes up. I'll try to keep ignoring him. It seems to be working for me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

The big dork still didn't call the kids. Couldn't he have taken 5-10 minutes out of his obviously busy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> schedule to let his kids know he's thinking about them?

Edited to add: He used to complain that I was making it hard for him to call the kids because I would answer the phone most of the time. Well, now he has what he wants - only the kids will answer the phone when he calls (if they want to). Wouldn't it be easier for him to call now?

Hi, Surviving. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Power, moi? I hope he is in a bit of a panic. He probably expected me to be all alone crying, with piles of tissues all around me.

HAH! That didn't stop my wife. Get's you thinking doesn't it?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I think it's safe to say your husband will be in a state of confusion for awhile. Let him be confused. Then panic should set it.

I had a good salmon recipe for you if you wanted it. I was at my family reunion for the weekend. I hadn't been there in 5 years. It was great to see the cousins, aunts and uncles.

Court in the morning for Temporary Custody of DS8, abducted by WW wife to Europe.

The last big new is that WW got my DS18 to testify that I was "lying" about WW's abusive behavior. He freaked when I called him and said I was dissappointed that he lied to the court in a deposition. I asked 5 good male role model friends to call him. He's being manipulated too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />0

WW claimed in her deposition that, she didn't have a lover, she did not want to kill herself, and she had never hit me.

WW got my response to her court documents showing that I had E-Mails between her and her "boytoy" that said she had hit me several times before, that the were lovers (Eeeewwww!), and that she wanted to "end it all".

That's gotta hurt a court case, lying to a judge!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

We'll see how it goes tomorrow.!

Pebs - you're doing very well.

Regarding what to say or do if WH confronts you, either by just knocking on the door or coming in the backyard to "help", I suggest you not totally ignore him. If he knocks, open the door and acknowledge his presence. What ever he says, your response is, "Are you ready to meet the conditions in my letter to restore our family?" If he says anything other than "yes", your reply is, "Then please leave my property."

I disagree with "hiding" or pretending not to be home. This is deceptive and unnecessary unless he has already demonstrated that he will not be civil. Any sign of anger and this IS the smart thing to do.

WAT

Hi Pebbles,

You were understandably freaked out by H showing up on your front porch. I think that you did the right thing by not opening up the door - he'll knock when he's ready.

He's supposed to have the kids tomorrow, right? There's a chance that he simply won't show up and will leave it to you to be the "bad" guy having to tell them that he probably won't come. It would be awful if your kids have to suffer through getting stood up. However, they will know just how much you love them.

If he does show up, be prepared. Judging by his recent behaviour, he's due for a fix. Don't give in unless he's ready to re-commit.

In response to "faking strong" I would like to say that you can't fake it all, and faking as much as you have been requires a strong person... Give yourself some credit!

Cat

Hey Pebbles, are you prepared for his pick up tomorrow? He should not be allowed in the house at all, so I would make sure the kids meet him out in the drive way. If he does come to the door, I would meet him at the door and ask him if he has read your letter and to please respect your wishes for no contact. Politely say goodbye and close the door.

I would have a plan in place in case he tries to get in. Most WS' try to test and see if they can get you to break Plan B. He won't like that you have taken back control of your life.

Don't you think he was checking to see if he could come in and "fix" things with his visit yesterday?

Pebbles,
The alien brain works in mysterious ways! Wonder who he is thinking more about now? Loving Family vs skankbag.....hmmmm. Is that a fog horn in the back ground? Perhaps the fog is beginning to thin. Stay strong!! You are seeing the results.

I've identified a MAJOR difference between us...I drink diet coke.