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Hi, Sleepless, HAH! That didn't stop my wife. Get's you thinking doesn't it?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> I spend all day at work with 4th-grade boys, then the rest of my time with an adolescent boy and, often, his friends. I crave time with grown-ups! Alas, I am just not the boy-toy type. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> I had a good salmon recipe for you if you wanted it. I was at my family reunion for the weekend. I hadn't been there in 5 years. It was great to see the cousins, aunts and uncles. I'd like that recipe. Thanks! Does it require that I use the really big tongs when I grill it? I like to use the really big tongs, LOL. I'm glad you had a good time at the reunion. You were in serious need of some fun, in my opinion. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> We'll see how it goes tomorrow.! I just read your thread and I'm so happy that it went well for you! Maybe I'm naive, but I still want to believe that the truth will always triumph over lies, and that the good guys will win in the end.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hi, WAT. If he knocks, open the door and acknowledge his presence. What ever he says, your response is, "Are you ready to meet the conditions in my letter to restore our family?" If he says anything other than "yes", your reply is, "Then please leave my property." Thank you for the suggestion, WAT. This is what I intend to do from now on. I was so shocked to find him right outside my door, without knocking or calling first, that I wasn't quite sure what to do. I wasn't even sure someone was at the door until I looked out the peep hole. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> It was kind of creepy. WH has never acted in a threatening manner toward me. I do think I'll speak to him through the screen door, though. I can open the front door while leaving the screen door closed and locked.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hi, Cat. He's supposed to have the kids tomorrow, right? There's a chance that he simply won't show up and will leave it to you to be the "bad" guy having to tell them that he probably won't come. I'm pretty sure he'll show up tomorrow to see the kids. He hasn't missed a scheduled day yet (of course, it hasn't been that long). If he stands up the kids, then he's an even bigger dork than I thought. If he does show up, be prepared. Judging by his recent behaviour, he's due for a fix. Don't give in unless he's ready to re-commit. I am planning to have the kids walk out to meet him when I see his car pull up. The only problem with this is the kids may not want to go with him. I hope WH calls the kids tonight. It will be hard for them if he just shows up after not talking to him for over a week. In response to "faking strong" I would like to say that you can't fake it all, and faking as much as you have been requires a strong person... Give yourself some credit! Thanks, Cat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hi, MelodyLane. If he does come to the door, I would meet him at the door and ask him if he has read your letter and to please respect your wishes for no contact. Politely say goodbye and close the door. I'll do that. He may try to come to the door to discuss when he'll bring the kids home, or some other excuse, if he needs a fix. Don't you think he was checking to see if he could come in and "fix" things with his visit yesterday? He may have been. It was very strange that he didn't knock or call first. I don't know if he tried to get in the gates to the back yard (I got locks for the gates Saturday).
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hi, confused42. The alien brain works in mysterious ways! Wonder who he is thinking more about now? Loving Family vs skankbag.....hmmmm. Is that a fog horn in the back ground? Perhaps the fog is beginning to thin. Stay strong!! You are seeing the results. I hope so. The alien brain is indeed a mystery. I've identified a MAJOR difference between us...I drink diet coke. Say it isn't so! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> That's okay, we can still be friends. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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DON'T BE NICE TO A COKE DRINKER!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
harumpf! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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DON'T BE NICE TO A COKE DRINKER!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Hee, hee, MelodyLane. I'm trying to be more cola-tolerant. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> My son told me that he called WH earlier in the day to get information about his cell phone (which went through the washer last night - long story). Son's cell phone is one of the few things WH is still paying for, probably because it is in WH's name. Anyway, WH called Son this evening to see what happened with the phone. Apparently, they talked about WH's visit tomorrow night. Son is busy instant messaging friends and will give me the details later. WH didn't ask to speak to our daughter. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Of course, she usually won't speak to him, but he could have tried. At least she would have known he cared. I wonder if WH would have called at all, if our son hadn't called him first. I was proud of our son for calling WH. It is the first time he has done so of his own volition. The only other time was when I asked him to call WH when Daughter and I were late coming back from the field trip. My heart breaks for my kids. It kills me that my son would feel awkward calling his own father and that my daughter feels like she has to pretend she doesn't care that her father didn't ask to speak to her. I had to turn away so she wouldn't see my eyes tear up. My own heartbreak is bad enough, but the kids are totally innocent and deserve none of this. I can't stand it when people hurt kids' feelings!!!! And when the person doing the hurting is the person I thought the world of, it's even more disappointing and painful.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Pebbles, that was the most shocking thing to me when my last H left for the OW. My H went from being a super interested father to a neglectful father! I would have never believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. He was like a an alien that I didnt recognize. Now, he is still with the OW, and has just never come back. So, I know how you feel, it is so heartbreaking to watch it. Your kids are forunate that they have do have one parent that is so wonderfully loving and attentive.......and SANE!
I also must admit that I work for an un-named soft drink company and am somewhat biased! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> [and it AIN'T stinky ole coke!] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So, I know how you feel, it is so heartbreaking to watch it. Your kids are forunate that they have do have one parent that is so wonderfully loving and attentive.......and SANE! MelodyLane, sometimes I wonder if I am sane or just an idiot. After all that has happened to me recently and everything I have read here, I am still surprised and disappointed when people's motives aren't pure and when people are so shamelessly cruel to those they claim to have loved. I've always wanted to believe that everyone has good in them, somewhere, and that no one would cause pain intentionally. I can take it if WH is cruel to me. It hurts tremendously, but I will survive, I have no other choice. But don't mess with my babies!
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hi Pebbles.
Quote: ================================= WH has never acted in a threatening manner toward me. I do think I'll speak to him through the screen door, though. I can open the front door while leaving the screen door closed and locked. =================================
You have repeatedly said how creepy it was that hubby was standing at the door, having made no sounds of entry, such as knocking.
I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to open the door, and found it locked.
For the sake of safety, I would like you to consider keeping him on the other side of a locked door, not just a screen.
His actions threw your flags up (your word - creepy). I have concerns about his anger, even if he has never done anything about it.
Edited to add: I don't want you to live in fear, Pebbles. I do want you to live in smart, though.
There is my nickel's worth (inflation).
God bless, Gimble
Last edited by Gimble; 05/31/05 10:29 PM.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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Ok, Mel them is fightin' words!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> But since the coke wannabes butter your bread I can make an exception! I don't smoke, I don't drink coffee... I drink diet coke. Its my addiction. WH and I both drink diet coke the recyclable guys LOVE us. Hmmm...alien thinking...maybe he switched...OW likes Bubba Cola....she must be poisoning him with generic cola!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> hehehe
aka-confused42 BS-45 me WH-42 DS-14 & DD-12 together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs "I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04 D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06 5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06 Recovery finally began Jan 2007 We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Pebs, Keep up the good work. And keep praying for your poor crazy Bammers. The aliens scrambled his brains so well that he stands on a doorstep probably wondering how he got there, and then how he wound up on the outside of the door he used to get to be on the inside... clueless he is!
Mel, I need to ask a big huge request - and if you can beat Coke to the punch, and get a decent distributor who can get it to the masses, I'm sure every Adkins affecianado will be a raving fan!
See, we can't have caffiene, we can't have sugar, and we can't have Nutrasweet. Diet Rite Cola has been the ONLY kid on the cola block to meet those requirements, but when I place special orders at the ONE store in my area that carries Diet Rite, and I can go months without the order getting filled, there's a BIG BIG BIG supplier problem.
So when certain billboards and pop-wagons displaying a new ad about ONE, and displaying the Splenda logo - I was tickled beyond words. Then I remembered - dang! what about the caffiene???! (I'm also an insomniac so caffiene is totally off my radar.
Any chance there will be a WIDELY distributed caffiene free version any time soon - even to the outer limits beyond the great state of TX - that remote and rural part of the country that only warrants 3 congressional representatives - that deprived state of UT?
BTW, working out a licensing agreement with Adkins to carry the A logo could also be a real coup with a lot of Adkins followers (Those who have actually read the book in order to know how to truly follow the diet). Coke, which just started advertising a Splenda version would be shut out!
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Thank you, Gimble, for your concern. I probably should give WH's long-repressed anger more consideration. Any sort of violence seems so out of character for him. But since the aliens scrambled his brains, who knows what he could do? Fortunately, the front door screen is a security screen. It lets air through, but a person can barely see through it. It would take a blow torch to break through it. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to open the door, and found it locked. Eeeew. Now that is creepy. There is my nickel's worth (inflation). Gimble, your opinion is worth much more than a nickel. Thank you.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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OW likes Bubba Cola....she must be poisoning him with generic cola!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> hehehe Confused42, it's an alien conspiracy! Mind control by way of generic cola!
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Pebs, Keep up the good work. And keep praying for your poor crazy Bammers. The aliens scrambled his brains so well that he stands on a doorstep probably wondering how he got there, and then how he wound up on the outside of the door he used to get to be on the inside... clueless he is! KaylaAndy, that does make him sound pitiful. Such a previously wonderful man, now locked out of what used to be his home - with what used to be his family inside. Really, I do feel sorry for him, the big dork. I do pray for him, too. Then I remembered - dang! what about the caffiene???! (I'm also an insomniac so caffiene is totally off my radar. Ahhhh, caffeine, my dear friend! And I wonder why I'm an insomniac...LOL.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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His actions threw your flags up (your word - creepy). I have concerns about his anger, even if he has never done anything about it. Pebbles. It's Sleepless here. Let's review. On Thursday I was civily discussing separation of assets and custody. On Monday my wife had grabbed my son and filed a restraining order. She LIED HER [censored] off to do it. I NEVER would have expected her bizarre behavior....EVER. Keep the chainsaw nearby <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> The only thing I can think about your son and daughter conversing with your husband is don't ask them or encourage them to reward bad behavior. Your son shouldn't feel he needs to seek the approval of a neglectful (acting neglectful) father. Your daughter shouldn't spend the rest of her life pursuing her father's approval like my WW has. Take care young lady! BTW - Salmon recipe Marinade salmon in Chipotle sauce (I used a Trader Joes brand) for at least 20 minutes. Prepare a Mango Salsa: 2 cups Kumquats sliced, one Mango cubed, Cilantro, Redwine vinegar (2 Tbsp) Cook the salmon on your grill on a sheet of aluminum foil on high for about 7-10 minutes, or until the middle is no longer clear red. Serve with rice or vegetable of your choice. YUM! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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On Thursday I was civily discussing separation of assets and custody. On Monday my wife had grabbed my son and filed a restraining order. She LIED HER [censored] off to do it. I NEVER would have expected her bizarre behavior....EVER. Point taken, Sleepless. My poor, dorked out WH has been poisoned by alien generic mind-control cola. He is capable of anything. Keep the chainsaw nearby <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I can use the power drill now, too. There is no limit to my power tool infiltration. Mmmwaahaahaahaa! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Next, the radial saw! The only thing I can think about your son and daughter conversing with your husband is don't ask them or encourage them to reward bad behavior. Your son shouldn't feel he needs to seek the approval of a neglectful (acting neglectful) father. Your daughter shouldn't spend the rest of her life pursuing her father's approval like my WW has. I am trying to let them interact with WH as they see fit. I no longer try to facilitate for WH. I worry about the long-term effects on my kids. My dad was away a lot on business when I was little and I've always felt a distance between us. I've also had a weird rebellion/approval-seeking relationship with him. It's better now that I'm an adult. Well, that was a little more than anyone wanted to know, but there you go. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Thanks, Sleepless. I guess I am young compared to you (since I just turned 40). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Cook the salmon on your grill on a sheet of aluminum foil on high for about 7-10 minutes, or until the middle is no longer clear red. Thanks for the recipe. It sounds yummy. I'll make it for myself when the kids are at WH's this weekend. Hmmm, cook for 7-10 minutes. According to WAT grill time, would that be one or two beers? Are you tired from kicking butt today, Sleepless? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hmmm...alien thinking...maybe he switched...OW likes Bubba Cola....she must be poisoning him with generic cola!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> hehehe confused, OW probably drinks COKE!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Kayla, I know your dilemma because I am on the Atkins diet,[A Tkins, Kayla! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />] too and rarely drink aspartame. It took us forever to come out with ONE with Splenda, and I was also very disappointed when they left the caffeine in. The drinks that are caffeine free with Splenda are the Sobe Leans and Aquafina Splash drinks. We seem to sell alot of those to the low carbers. Finding a good soft drink is hell for a low carber! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hi Pebbles,
Tonight's the night. Any word to the kids from WH about when he'll be coming to get them?
Cat
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confused, OW probably drinks COKE!! BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
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