Hi, Lady Clueless.

I would imagine so!

I hope WH is enjoying his Father's Day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> He has neither of his children with him. My daughter just called to ask me his phone number so she can call him to pick her up later than originally planned from her friend's house today. WH will pick her up at 4:00, then I will pick her up at 6:00 from his place. Ooooh, two hours of 'quality time.'

I wonder if WH is using his kid-free day to be with his MOW. Or maybe he is spending the day with MOW and her son. Although, MOW's son stays with his father, so the son is probably with him since it's Father's Day. Maybe, since MOW lives with her husband and son sometimes, the three of them are together and WH is all alone. I like that possibility the best.

Hey, WH, how about some support money, to celebrate Father's Day? Nothing like denying your children to prove what a devoted father you are. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Yes, I am a little bitter today. I'll call my daddy. That will make me feel better and him feel happy. I'm his little princess. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Another edit: WH will probably call his dad today. I wonder how he will explain that his own children chose to be with their friends, rather than with him.

Edited to add disclaimer: My anger is directed at one particular dad. I realize there are many wonderful dads on this board and in 'real life.'

I was just laughing at myself. Sometimes I read posts here and I think, "Gee, that WS is such an idiot! Why on earth would that BS want him/her back?" Come to think of it, that's probably what some people who read my thread think, too, LOL.

Only the uninitiated would think so. Any of us who have watched our sweet, beloved spouses transform into a hideous beast can fully appreciate wanting the normal spouse back again. Even if their clothes hang in tatters as the green slowly fades from their skin.

Today marks the four-week anniversary of Plan B, and today there was contact.

WH was supposed to pick up our daughter from her friend's house at 4:00 and take her to his place. Instead, he brought her home at 3:30. The phone rang at about 3:20, but I didn't answer it, so it might have been WH. He didn't bother to leave a message or try my cell phone.

When they got here, WH opened the garage door (automatic opener, forgot he had a remote). I'm not sure what he was planning to do, he doesn't have a key to the house, neither does our daughter. Was he just going to leave our daughter in the garage?

I heard the garage door open and went outside to see what was going on. I saw WH's truck. He saw me standing there, so I said, "Hi." He didn't say anything. I let daughter in the house through the garage. He followed along and asked if I wanted him to look at the pool. I said, "No, thank you." WH still followed, but stopped at the door from the garage to the house. I had to hold Weenster back, so the door was only open a crack. He handed me an envelope through the door. I said, "Thank you." Then I closed the door. He walked back to his truck, closed the garage door, and left.

In the envelope was a check (finally!) and his work schedule for July, stating the times he would pick up and drop off the kids "as per our agreement." Very official sounding, and typed. He hates to type.

I was too surprised to handle this well. I was supposed to pick up our daughter at 6:00 at his place. I probably blew it.

I wonder, now, if he was expecting to stay and work on the pool. Maybe that's why he opened the garage door, to get his tools and filter parts. We have been having trouble with the filter. His exact words were, "I heard you need me to look at the pool." Of course, I never said that to him. I haven't spoken to him since May 22, except for the time I had to walk to his door to get the kids and just said hello. I asked our daughter, and she said she didn't say anything about it, either.

He acted as if nothing had happened, no Plan B letter, no divorce papers, no defaulting, no court date in 10 days. He wasn't cheerful but wasn't mean, and didn't ever say 'hello' or 'good-bye' to me (or our daughter).

I just don't get it.

Hi, Pebbles

He manufactured an opportunity to get his fix.

You short-circuited most of it by not letting him 'work on the pool'.

Change the remote code on your garage door.

No big deal, so relax :-)

God bless,
Gimble

Thanks, Gimble.

I'm just glad I was dressed. I had just worked out and taken a shower. If he had been 15 minutes earlier, I would have been in a towel - not the best way to deal with a surprise visit. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

WH ignores us completely for a week (Wed. to Wed.), then just shows up to work on the pool today, without asking beforehand. WH and I haven't even laid eyes on each other for over two weeks. He seems to be able to go a long time without any kind of fix. Most of the time it seems like he just doesn't give a darn.

He actually looked at me this time for a couple seconds. He usually won't look right at me (maybe his eyes will burn?). Whether that's good or bad, I don't know.

He did avoid the stress of me possibly seeing his secret lair by bringing our daughter to the house, instead of back to his place. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Pebbles, I think you handled it wonderfully! You showed him that you meant what you said, and did so very gracefully. Now, can you change that garage door opener code?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I had to eat some crow yesterday. Remember, I told you I thought the new Firms were wimpy? Well......I decided to do an "easy" Firm yesterday for kicks and grins. I arrogantly pulled out The Firm's Body Sculpt. Short and easy, right? OMG...I can hardly walk today! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> And this is after doing Cathe's Muscle Max on Thursday barely breaking a sweat! I never remembered Body Sculpt being so tough. I have only done Cathe weightlifting for about 18 months, so I figure its time to shake things up with some Firms. Mea culpa!

Which workouts have you been doing?

Hi, MelodyLane.

Thank you. I'll ask my son if he can change the code. If he doesn't know how, I'll have to......read the directions! If I can find them, LOL. My dad might know how.

I always get sore when I do something different, too. Coincidentally, I did Cardio Sculpt (from the same series) today and my booty is screamin'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Oh, something funny about WH's visit. He was only here for about 5 minutes, but it seemed like a lot longer, LOL.

When I first came out of the garage to see what was going on, WH was looking at something in the yard, hands on his hips, head bent down. I went out there later to see what he was looking at. We have a drip irrigation system for plants in the yard border (WH installed it). A piece of it broke off and I put a big cement stepping stone on top of it to keep the water from shooting up in the air. I can just imagine what he was thinking in his confusion, "Who the &*%$ put this here, on top of my irrigation hose?" Poor WH, he misses his hose. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Pebbles

Quote:
=========================
He did avoid the stress of me possibly seeing his secret lair by bringing our daughter to the house, instead of back to his place.
=========================

You need to name his crib/pad/lair/whatever. I have a few ideas to start.

The Dark Dungeonette
Dank's Inferno
Crash Matt
The Petri Dish
Furious Abodeous

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God bless,
Gimble

Hi, Gimble.

Good idea! I'll go with 'The Petri Dish' for now. I'll explain below.

I also like: The Lascivious Lair, The Hootchie-Cootchie Hideaway, The Adulterous Abode, and The Heathens' Hovel. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

'The Petri Dish' would be good for tonight because of all the bacteria and other nasties that might be growing there. Although, I can't be sure that's where my daughter caught her cooties. It could have been something she ate at her friend's house. She was in no mood to explain.

My daughter called me in to her room about two hours ago. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I barfed." I turned on the light and it was like a scene from the Exorcist! It was everywhere! The furniture, the walls, books and toys, the entire carpet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Poor angel. She looked at me with her daddy's eyes and hair just like mine (only caked with nastiness), her face all white, and said in a tiny voice, "Wow! I sure can hurl." I love that kid.

After I got her cleaned up and settled on the couch, it took two hours to clean her room. It might have been easier just to dynamite the place and rebuild. She does feel better, now, thank God!

Edited to add: I don't know about WH, but it's a Father's Day I'll never forget. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ....unless it was the very best way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> A peek may have been useful.

Yep, change the garage door openner code. Is it a Genie or a Sears model? (These seem to be the two most popular kinds.) I have experience with AND the directions for the Sears models.

About the drip irrigation - I suggest you get somebody to fix it or do it yourself. This would be a loud message that Bam Bam's services are not needed. Same for any pool problems.

WAT

Hi Pebbles,

Did WH say anything to DD about the card and pictures? Perhaps an explanation about why he dropped DD off instead of letting you pick her up?

It sounds like Plan B is working for both of it's purposes - it's removed the drama from your house, and it's making him miss you.


I like the Quick Fix video for exercises on an exercise ball. I also have a The Firm set of 3 videos, but I haven't been consistent with using them, so everytime I work out I end up sore.

Cat

Ah pebs you never fail to give me a daily chuckle...*pinches cheekies* you are just so cute.

I would like to respond to all of you who have been kind enough to post, but something just happened and I need to get advice? sympathy? as soon as I can because I'm pretty rattled.

I just got a call from my lawyer's office that WH sent in his response to the divorce/support paperwork. They said since the default had not yet been officially filed with the court, WH is no longer in default.

The legal assistant said that WH had a very lengthy response. She said it was obviously not typed by a lawyer's office as it was not in proper legal language, but it must have been typed by someone who wanted it to 'sound' legal. She said there are many 'off-the-wall' requests and complaints. Gee, sounds like the custody/visitation order fiasco revisited, doesn't it?

He is wanting to redo the custody/visitation order so that he has more custody, to pay less child support. The legal assistant said he probably can't do that because the custody/visitation order has already been approved by the judge and filed. He wants to take the kids out of private school (where they have been since kindergarten) and have them start in public schools this fall, even though he was not going to have to pay for any of it. I was accused of lying in the disclosure of assets and debts. I filled out the paperwork in March, so some of the numbers have changed. I guess he didn't look at the date. There was a lot more.

His papers also included a request to speed up the divorce proceedings.

We have a court date next Wednesday which is only supposed to be about financial support.

I have a good idea who typed the response, WH's said-to-be, but not-yet-filed, maybe-divorcing MOW. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

So, it looks like WH is pretty sure what he wants - and it's not me.

Do you think that MOW is steering the boat and your H is dazed and confused? Sure seems like it.

I will be surprised if his A survives...I think that he will feel like quite the fool when it is all over...al the damage he's done...and for what...?

Hi Pebbles,

First, catch your breath. It's starting.

"So, it looks like WH is pretty sure what he wants - and it's not me."

I'm not so sure. He's not acting like he is at all sure. To me, it looks more like he's angry and trying to EXTEND the divorce while trying to make it "appear" that he wants to speed it up.

Remember the first rule of thumb--believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see.

I can't wait for Gimble or WAT or someone else who can decipher the specifics gets here. I just wanted you to have something to read and to know that you have support while you were waiting. I suspect that you are going to hear something like "yep, he's right on schedule" LOL.

Hang in there Pebbles <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, forgot to add: WH still doesn't have a lawyer. The legal assistant said there was no name of a lawyer included with his diatribe or response papers, and usually people include their lawyer's name or the letters are typed on the lawyer's letterhead. She said, "It looks like he had a friend type it up for him on their computer."

Edited again to add: Oh, looks like I did already say that. I'm a bit agitated (you think?).

Sometimes I think he just hates me. A lot of this was just to be mean.

LovingBoundaries and Trix, I just read your responses. Thank you for your support!

I wonder if his MOW is pushing him around. But he may like that.

Not having a lawyer for something like this does sound like another Wile E. Coyote move, doesn't it?

Sounds like a response to your plan B letter. There may be conflicting motivations here...

He gets to appease the MOW and avoid conflict with her....and since you stuck to your guns on Plan B, he's stricking back - rather petty to be sure, but it works as long as he gets you to drop Plan B and engage him in a fight.