Hi, Pebbles.

Quote:
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So, Gimble, any tea leaf readings on what I might expect to happen next?
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Yup. The sun will most likely rise in the morning. Birds will chirp, dogs will bark, cats will meow, and life for the great majority of people, animals and vegetation on this planet, will continue through another day.

I know I am odd in that I study everything, and that is why I make some occasionally good guesses at 'tea leaf reading' as I see patterns in others lives. Evidently I study more than I realize at times.

Example;
A couple of days ago, I was up in my shop doing a bit of woodworking, and I noticed two rabbits outside a window. One was male, one female. Well, as things go between two rabbits, they decided to make some new ones. BZZZZZZZT. In the time it takes to say BZZZZZZZZZZT, the act was over, and they went their separate ways. Later that day I made a comment to my wife about how interesting it would be to calculate the fluid dynamics involved in such a short exchange. Before I could finish the sentence, we were both bent over double laughing. I think I must study a bit too hard some days <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God bless,
Gimble

Hi, Sleepless.

Well, that's one thing I'll hand my WH as far as honesty goes in this mess. He has never once said anything but he's never coming back and he only misses the kids - sometimes - never me.

I remember when I touched WH on the arm when I gave him my Plan B letter, with just the tips of my fingers to get his attention. I didn't hit him or throw myself at him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> When I touched him, he jumped, literally, and pulled his arm away. It was as if I'd touched him with a hot welding torch. He did this every time I'd touch him on the arm after he left (I only did it a few times).

He also has that problem with looking directly at me. It's as if looking at me makes his eyes burn or is too repulsive to bear.

It's a little hard on the self-esteem to be so repugnant to someone who didn't seem to mind being, ahem, 'physically close' right up until the time he left. And to be left for a nasty, frumpy, skankylosaur hag. Ouch.

So ends my late-night, sleep-deprivation-induced, self-pitying rant. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Gimble.

I liked the rabbit story. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I suppose the sun will rise, and I can pretty much guarantee my dogs will bark, tomorrow and the next day and the next day. Some days are just so much longer than others.

Gimble, you're that endearing, fun kind of odd. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

My dear, dear Pebbles,
I have little doubt he cannot "look you into the eyes" for the obvious reason - because that would make him face reality. The reality that what HE does is NOT ok.
Please do not think there is something wrong with you!

Hi Pebbles,

Have you ever gone to court?

I know that you don't know me, but I'm here cheering you on!

Cat

Hi, brownhair.

Thank you for saying that. WH did tell me once that it was hard for him to look at me because it made him feel ashamed. Still, when I hear about the kind of woman (looks and character) he left me for, it makes me think there must be something very wrong with me. Why else would he want to be with that?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Cat.


The court date is next Wednesday, June 29, unless WH finds a way to delay it somehow. It is supposed to be about financial support only.

Your support is very much appreciated. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Pebbles,

Even if your lawyer had file the Motion for Default and the Court granted it, a good attorney would file a Motion to Reconsider and most judges would reinstate. The law abhors a forfeiture.

Regards,

BB

And the court will say something along the lines of, "...and?" or "Too bad so sad." This argument will likely NOT influence the court one bit.

Regards,

BB

Hi, BB.

I wanted to thank you for being willing to step out and discuss legal issues with Sleepless and Pebbles.

God bless,
Gimble

Gimble,

It's what I do (she says all bashful in her best imitation of Tutter from Bear in the Big Blue House...)

Actually, I wish I had more to offer, but my grand extent of experience in Domestic Relations law is a Family Law course in law school, the 2 questions on the bar exam and my own divorce experience - not a whole lot of help! Now if you want to know about municipal law, labor law, export compliance, antitrust, etc., I'm the girl!

BB

Thank you, Brit's Brat. The legal assistant did say it is much less expensive for me if we don't have to file default papers and go through everything involved with that. I just keep wondering why my WH waits a month before responding to any legal documents he receives (first the custody/visitation order, now the divorce papers).

I was hoping you would post. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I've been reading your advice on Sleepless's thread. I am going to meet with my lawyer. Do you have any advice for me about questions I should ask my lawyer before going to court? Is there any way my WH can avoid paying the guideline support?

Hi, Brit's Brat and Gimble.

I don't know what happened. I posted the first reply to BB's original post and it didn't show up until way down here. The mysteries of cyberspace.

Thanks again for the advice, BB.

A new thought, Pebs - and maybe BB can offer some advice in this area.

If Bam Bam wants a legal fight now, OK! Perhaps there's a good reason to have OW deposed!

WAT

WAT, you already know I like that approach :-)

Give them what they want, up to a point. Take it public. Include the other woman's husband as well - to find out what their intentions are for their marriage, since it affects yours (warning, pipe dream).

Gimble

Oooh Gimble, that sounds dirty!

OK, my psychic take on entering the mind of the WS...
(take this for what it's worth...)

WS is feeling guilty. He feels guilty that he's hurt you and especially the children. When he spouts off that the D won't hurt them or you, and has to do what he has to to make himself happy, he is saying those things more to convince himself than speaking what he believes...

Now that you have disengaged contact with him he is feeling rejected and even more ashamed. At least before he could look for with some type of normal interaction with you and could convince himself, "See, everything will turn out..." Now he doesn't have that luxury. So he is feleing hurt...how dare you reject him back, he didn't expect that, he thought you would come chasing after him, would always NEEEEEeeeeddd him.

So at first, he thought it wouldn't come down to a D. It was a nice thought, but the reality is, he hadn't thought it through...maybe in a year or two... But now you've pushed the issue, he's going to drag his feet, get you back at every turn, make you hurt as much as he is hurt...and maybe your Ding him isn't on his nor the MOWH's schedule? Perhaps she's been stringing him along, and telling him, "But I thought we'd get our M out of the way NEXT year? Can you stall her?" Perhaps MOWH has been aloof since he is going through a D. Can you imagine her surprise...starting an A with a MM only to find out he's going to D...Eeeek, what's the fun in that?

I think you should get the financial stuff in order and the D at YOUR speed, whenever YOU want it, not at THEIR speed. Even when/if recovery begins you will want to D if not legally, then emotionally from this past M... You can always get remarried...

OMG, he's an engineering Geek like me. That explains SOOO much. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ditto. I know there's nothing wrong with me..... that serious anyway. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oooh Gimble, that sounds dirty!

I LIKE IT!! Maybe I can do that too. I should send the psychologist to deposition the 19 year old NANNY!! That would be BEAUTIFUL. No wait. I could fly the nanny out for the court hearing to try and deny the affair and put in the PUBLIC RECORD!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> ooops. who's post is this again?

Got a little excited. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />