*pounces pebbles* you are so cute I give you props *hugs*
You are the queen....I was arguing with WH one time and came out without my shirt on...just in a bra...and jeans as I know WH always loved my [email]B@@BS[/email] ....we just gotta tease them sometimes. It's fun...kind of like....hehe look what you can't have.

Thanks, Surviving. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Actually, I fully intended to stay in the house. My daughter has had a fever and headache off and on since her stomach illness late Sunday night, mostly just headache at this point. I was afraid if I didn't call her back to get the Advil, she would need some at WH's. He wouldn't have any children's medicine, I don't think.

WH was some distance away, so he probably didn't see much. I don't think I'd consider it 'contact.' We didn't speak to each other and I wasn't too far out the door.

Our street is being repaved tomorrow. Everyone wanting to use their cars tomorrow has been asked to park on a side street. My son called to me as he walked to WH's car, "Mom, don't forget to park on a different street when you get back from dinner!" I couldn't have planned a better goodbye. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Muhahahaha.....wonder if son will "slip" and say mom went to dinner with a friend....or out right lie and say mom's on a date.....will make things with WH interesting...if he's any much the dork mine is....oh he will obsess when he hears this stuff.....you sure you don't was DS and i to come visit...so you will be "out with friends"?

Hi, Pebbles.

Pebbles son said:
===================================
"Mom, don't forget to park on a different street when you get back from dinner!"
===================================

Dad: "Son, why would she need to park on a different street??"
Son: "They're gonna repave the main street tomorrow, and I didn't want Mom to forget after her date. You know how she forgets things."
Daughter says: "Dad, I think I need to hurl again"

Fun night for hubby.

On to the yard and pool maintenance. I think that if you just hire it done or do what you can yourself, the fact that it is being maintained will be enough to stir him up without pushing him over the edge to the point of retribution. No need to feed his stubbornness. He still has an imagination, let it work on him.

God bless,
Gimble

hehe my parents pool boy is quiet yummy he's my age actually....don't know if jon paul would drive that far...but he might if you would be willing to pay for the mainenance work. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> and when I say he's yummy....oh girl he's scrumptious.

Hi, Confused.

Thank you! Have a great time on your vacation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Surviving.

I told the kids that I was going to dinner with a friend, which was true (a female friend, by the way, LOL). The kids didn't ask for anymore details.

I don't think my son would lie and say I was on a date, at least I hope he wouldn't. I don't want him (or anyone else) to lie for me, even in an attempt to 'help' me. I try not to say anything to the kids that I wouldn't want them to say to WH. That way they don't have to 'keep their stories straight.' Those poor kids don't need anymore stress in their lives.

I prefer for WH to use his imagination to fill in the blanks, if he is interested enough to do so. I know my imagination comes up with scenarios that are probably much worse than reality.

Let me know if you'll be in central Central California. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Gimble.

Oh, that would be great! Not that I want my daughter to be sick, but WH did miss out on the scene from the Exorcist and the subsequent sequels Sunday night. I think the worst he'll get is she won't sleep in the room he prepared for her and she might be cranky from a headache. If he lets her do whatever her little heart desires, it shouldn't be much of a problem for him.

Yes, I think this is the way to go. I can tell he notices when yard work is done and things are changed about the house. It probably doesn't matter so much who is doing the work, as long as it isn't him. It will still be someone else encroaching on his territory.

Surviving, you naughty girl! Don't tempt me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I did stop by the firefighter car wash last weekend. I like firefighters. They are so...heroic. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I got a clean car and the money went to a good cause (beyond fulfilling my eye candy needs <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />).

I'm just kidding, though. I'm a one-man woman, and will be until the ink is dry on the final divorce papers, if it comes to that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

It might not be a lie in his mind. Even if I have plans with a girlfriend I'll still call it a coffee date.


When your kids are grown up and look back at this point in their lives, I'm sure that they'll appreciate this. I just hope that WH isn't putting any pressure on them from his end.

You're doing so great Pebbles! And no, I don't consider a little towel glimpse to be "contact", though if you make a trip outside scantily clad each time that WH comes to the house, he might think that you're not serious about staying dark.

How was your dinner?

Just a thought... as far as WH's family supporting him - don't take this personally. If you perceived that someone was hurting your kids, you would fiercly protect them. You don't know what WH has told his family, and how honest they've been with you about contact with him... Maybe he told them that you had the A, his A was just for revenge, but he happened to fall for the OW. His parents may have been waiting for you to fess up, and when you didn't, they weren't sure how much truth you were telling (about his behaviour).

Have a great day!

Cat

actually I was thinking of going to san fran befor july 10th when I go to chicago...are you too far away? Maybe you could accompany us....I need to stop by chinatown or japan town to pick up something for my boyfriend before I go to chicago but then the day is free we could take the kids to pier 39 or the museums? How far are you from monterey...I could always take a detour to central cali?

let me know...8sigh* it's off to work i got *dashes out*

Hi, Cat.

Good point. But I think to my son the word 'date' has a romantic connotation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

What is strange, to me, is I think he and the kids don't really talk much at all. From what the kids tell me, which may or may not be the whole story (I don't push it) it seems like they just have superficial small talk.

Thank you, Cat. Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />


It was quick, but fun. Thanks for asking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

True. I was the one who exposed WH's affair to his family. WH admitted to them that what I was saying was true. I don't know much about what has happened between him and his family in the last month or so, though. Their idea of being 'supportive' was being totally nonjudgmental. They may see me filing for divorce as trying to hurt WH, even though I called my MIL and FIL to explain why I filed.

Family loyalty. MIL and FIL were shocked that WH would have an affair, but they believed me. My MIL even cried. However, when I told them why I filed for divorce (to ensure financial support because WH had threatened to not support us) they said, "Oh, he'd never do that!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

You still have proof that he made the threat, right? Maybe you should mail them a copy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Do you think that his parents will accompany him to court?

Cat, I didn't even think about his parents accompanying him to court! I doubt it, they are not particularly close, but who knows? I hope not. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

So far WH has not wanted to tell his parents much about what is going on, at least from what they have told me. I think WH's brothers probably know more about what is going on than his parents do.

I would definitely feel like they were ganging up on me if they show up in court. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

It looks like the Wednesday overnight visits have begun to have a pattern to them. The kids told me they got fast food, which they took to WH's place and ate in front of the T.V. After that, they watched more T.V. until they fell asleep on the couch. They were home by 7 a.m., no breakfast, not dressed.

WH dropped them off at the curb with the car running, didn't get out, and pulled away as soon as the front door opened.

I remember him telling the lawyer about all the guys he works with who have their kids for midweek overnight visitations and how he'd be able to adjust his work schedule to take them to school, bring them home, etc. It looks like, at least for the past two weeks, he has had to go to work early?

I was just thinking. WH will have the kids next Wednesday night, after our day in court. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Just kind of rambling here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

***giggling at the thought of WH having to deal with the kids after you kick his butt in court***

Hi, Cat.

Yes, I do have proof, and so does my lawyer. It is tempting to send WH's parents a copy, but I doubt it would make much difference at this point. They've even had dinner with WH and the skankylosaur (just to check her out and try to see what he sees in her, they told me). WH's father has had some 'funny' things to say about her. He mentioned that she is very plain, then said, "But I guess everyone is beautiful to somebody." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I guess what I am trying to say is, I think they are going to support WH in their own nonjudgmental way, regardless of proof.

I don't know if the proof will make any difference in court or not. It was handwritten, then faxed to my lawyer and said, "As of April 11, 2005, I will no longer be providing financial support." There were also a lot of other demands in the same letter related to custody and visitation. His signature is at the bottom of the letter. He has provided some financial support since that time, but not as much as he claims he has.

I have an appointment with my lawyer Monday morning. My mom wants to go with me to court. I will ask the lawyer if that's a good idea or not.

Speaking of my mom, lately she has been coming up with all sorts of things she didn't like about WH. Before he left, she adored him. Now she is telling me things like, "It always bothered me when he..." A couple of times I have asked her to please stop. I know she is angry, and she probably thinks she is making me feel better.

I hope everything comes out in my and the kids' favor. I'm sure WH is just seething right now, hoping horrible things will happen to me. Maybe the judge will feel sorry for him?

I do wonder how he will feel facing his children, after trying to take support money and their home away from them in court. Of course, he thinks it's all my fault.

My mom thinks he won't show up at court. I think he will. There is too much at stake for him. Come to think of it, I probably won't see hide nor hair of WH until the court date. He has no scheduled visitations before then.

Yes, but I find my eyes roaming around NOTICING women more now. I'm still wearing my wedding "until the gavel falls" as SH says.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Sleepless.

I wanted to ask you about going to court. I'm a little frightened (okay, a lot). Was it scary? What was it like?

Gulp. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I don't get this. Aren't we 40 years old? My dad called laughing before my court date and said, "OK, don't laugh, but I have to ask. Mom wants to know if we should fly out there to go with you to court." We had a good laugh for about 10 minutes. That's why I hired the lawyer, to go with me to court. Pebbles, will your mother try to give your lawyer advice, or explain things to the judge?

Is this a girl thing? Maybe I'm insensitive and don't understand. For a guy, it's like having your mom come to school and protect you from a bully. Gimble, I may need some help here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />



If he's representing himself, won't he have to be there?

It's not that scary Pebbles. You might get to see some pretty unusual activity when you're there. I assume you'll leave the kids somewhere else. Don't take them along if you don't have to.