My son told me tonight that WH has been buying the kids a lot of clothes, even underwear. I knew he had bought a few things for our daughter here and there, but from what son said it sounds like he has been doing some serious back-to-school clothes shopping, including a backpack for our daughter. WH does this shopping on his own (as far as I can tell), on the days he does not have the kids with him. I should mention WH was never much of a clothes-shopper before he left.

I asked son if WH was planning to keep all the clothes at his place for them. Son said WH wants the kids to take the clothes 'home,' but they keep forgetting.

Is this just another way for WH to assuage his guilt? Does it make him feel like he is being a good father and taking care of his children? He was so mean about the child support, why spend more money? The children are not particularly impressed by receiving clothing as a gift, so I don't think WH is doing this as an attempt to 'buy their love.' Maybe they're 'back-to-guilt' clothes?

Edited to add: Maybe since he's no longer allowed to 'help' with the pool, the yard and fix-it jobs around the house, WH is refocusing his 'helping' energy in a new way?

I just smiled and shook my head like it was a good joke, and then walked over to my best buddy in the office and told him what she said. He just looked at me with a straight face and said, "Oh Dude, that's just wrong!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I told her later the little secret, and she came unglued apologizing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Bad anniversary, worse 40th birthday. This year pretty much sucked until June 30th when DS8 came home.


My first boss had two anniversaries. They were divorced, and then remarried later. As far as I could tell, happily. No affair, except for his work. But it still worked out.



That's your job! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



That's my kind of evening. I love that show! I used to sing along when that song played on Radio Disney in the morning. Of course DS8 has moved on to Ed, Ed and Eddie. Of course there's Jimmy Neutron and Teen Titans. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

We had flank steak Friday night.
Marinate in

1/4 cup soy sauce
2 Tbsp vinegar
2 chopped cloves garlic
2 Tbsp chopped scallions
?? ground Ginger
Some vegetable oil I usually skip

Marinate 4 hours ( I can only wait 1 or 2)

Grill for 5 minutes on each side until pink in middle. YUM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Now that's just not HUMAN!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />



STOP IT!!

Yeah, it does kinda get to me sometimes, but then I try to think of something else QUICK!

And I'm meeting NEW friends later on for dinner. They are from a local online group. So here's another step FORWARDS!

In the last 2 mths since D-Day, I've never met so many new people before in my life within a short span of time.


One of WH's "complaints" that I became "an obligation" to him. I found that pretty insulting. As in helloooo?? So if you decide to have a new 'committed' rel'ship with OW, she won't be an obligation later on as well?
Anyway, so.. if we are obligations to him, why did he keep asking me updates abt a family situation that has occurred recently. He said he can't help.. but he wants to know. Plus before he left the apartment and moved out, he said 'if anything, call me'. I didn't acknowledge that statement at all.

~A

After my WH returned from his 'honeymoon' in Spain meeting Omelette's parents, he brought a load of (admittedly very nice) clothes back for the girls.

It wasn't until later that I discovered they were presents from the Omelette. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Careful that the OW isn't trying to 'buy' her way in, Peb.

Alph.

Ohh. I've got that beat. OM19 was DS8's nanny and S18's out to party buddy. He was already making good friendships with DS8. DS8 has said it would be nice to see OM19 again. I politely told him I didn't think he would be seeing him in the near future, and went into some detail as to why not. Mommy and OM19 were doing stuff that mommy's and daddy's should do, and that's not OK, so OM19 isn't our friend anymore. Something to that effect anyway. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Sleepless.

I hear ya! 2005 has been a pretty sucky year so far. It has to get better from here, right?

Sounds good. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Thanks for the marinade recipe. I'll try it. You know how I love to get out the big tongs and do some grilling. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, the court order says the house and garage and their contents are mine until the division of property, so nah, nah, nah. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Consequences!

I know, I know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Can't help it sometimes.

Hi, Ashley.

I know what you mean. In the six months since WH has been gone, I've gone out more often than I went out with him in the last year or so. I've been dancing more times than we went dancing the whole time I've known him (he doesn't like to dance). Good for us, moving forward - or trying to, anyway.

I heard that one, too. "If you need anything, just call me." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Well, I need a faithful husband and a devoted father for my children, can you help me out with that, WH?

Yes, it's funny how they try to escape being overwhelmed by 'obligations' by seeking out a new obligation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Alph.

I didn't think of that possibility. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> She may have been with him for at least some of the purchases.

I don't know, though. He really seems to have made the clothing purchases on his own. My son told me WH said, "I picked these up for you when I was out last week." And underwear? Now there's a gift to win a kid's heart, LOL. I guess I'll eventually find out.

Yeah, with friends like that... Eeeeewww! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

My son has 5 of his closest friends spending the night tonight to celebrate his 14th birthday. We probably will not have a bite of anything edible left in the entire house by morning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

One friend's mom and I got to talk a bit. Her husband left her and their son about two years ago for another woman - his soulmate, of course. She held out for a reconciliation, but he filed for divorce. She was devastated. Soon after the divorce became final, she met a man, whom she married a few months ago. He treats her and her son very well, has a much more stable and lucrative job than her first husband, and they travel often, which she enjoys.

Her XWS? He and his 'soulmate' broke up some time ago. He lives alone in a small apartment and has his son three days every two weeks. Everyone who knows him says he seems 'old' and sad. I saw him at a school function and would have to agree with that assessment.

Makes you think...hmmm?

Yep, those WH sure can pick winners. I've drilled into my boys' heads....if they'll cheat WITH you, they'll cheat ON you! SO NEVER EVER CHEAT!!!!! It will come back to bite you in the end....literally! Seems it's working for them...too bad their Dad is drunk and flirting his life away....and losing US in the process. It's sad to watch...especially when you love him so much.
SAR2

That's so true, Pebbles. You have a nice reverse babble right there! LOL


Before he "left" (i.e. even though he was still physically staying here, he was no longer engaging with me any form of eye contact or conversation), WH said that he wasn't sure that it cld work out with OW. And OW was having doubts too. He said that he is ready to spend the rest of his life alone. But hey, the A is still going on. and if you have so many doubts.. WHY LEAVE?!??! I'm still boggled that he finds the A worth all that doubt and pain he KNOWS he'd be facing.

So.. if my WH continues to conflict-avoid and doesn't get his own life back in order, I'm not surprised he does end up alone.

~A

Yes, it is a manly endeavor and I sure..... wait a MINUTE!

It'll get better kiddo. I'm sure of it. Can't take away our birthdays you know!

It's what makes life living sometimes doesn't it?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

No one's reading my post anymore, so I'll tell you here. WW called this morning to speak with DS8, and then she wanted to talk to me about asset division. Sorry this sounds obnoxious, but it the scheme of things, I might be able to keep the house, which is what the parenting evaluator is counting on. My WW was confused about some correspondence stating that we would use mediation but she and I had talked about coming up with our own plan of splitting the houses. I told her I didn't know anything about a mediator, but she rambled on about how expensive this is. How would she know? She hired Miss Kennel Club who likes to file motions! WW tried to argue that I hired a lawyer again. I told her the lawyer was hired to simply revise the parenting plan for our review. I said my good will went out the door when you abducted our son and filed court actions. She decided to yammer on about how I hired the lawyer, so I used that little round button on the bottom of the phone with the word 'end' on it. It's good to be in control. You want to justify what you did? I don't have to listen! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> I'm starting to look forward to plan B. Stuck over there in Europe, I really think she may have less of a clue than MOST WS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

She called back 2 minutes later and asked to talk with DS8 again. So I handed over the phone. I find myself driving around now thinking, are there any women in the 30-42 age range that believe in marriage and committment that would be interested in me?? I would like to wait around a year to make sure the alien has returned to the home planet for good before I go looking, but I still wonder. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Here's a bizarre conversation. I started talking with our realator in DC, who happens to be gay. He called me regarding my E-mail telling him about what was going on with us. He's a nice guy we had lunch with a few times. Now get this. We started relating about how our partners both left us, and had similar strong wills. He commuted long distances too. EEeeewww. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

He's a GREAT guy, but ...... he's a guy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Hi, SAR2.

Why don't WSs ever realize this? Oh, right, because they're soulmates and so in love! Now that they've found the 'right one,' they'd never cheat again. (Roll eyes repeatedly).

Yes, it is hard to watch - and it hurts. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I am trying to harden my heart, but it's not as easy as everyone (MB company excluded) is trying to tell me.

Sorry you have to be here, too, SAR2, but I'm glad you posted. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Ashley.

The eternal question. I don't know if it's worse when they admit they have doubts or when they are unwaiveringly determined. My WH told me in no uncertain terms that he had no doubts and he'd never be back. So far, he has been true to his word (even though he's lied about everything else).

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of these WSs end up alone, eventually.

Hi, Sleepless.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Hey, we women can pretty much take on anything, when we have no other choice. I like what my son's friend said about me to him, "Your mom's cool. She's not afraid of anything, is she?" If he only knew. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Promise? Just kidding. It has to get better. I won't accept any other alternative. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey, I read it! I just don't have anything helpful or clever to say. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> So, WW hired Miss Kennel Club again? Smooth move, LOL. That must put your mind more at ease. I'm glad you're using the 'end' button on the phone. No need to allow your ears to be assaulted with incomprehensible alien verbiosity (I like big words late at night, LOL). I think you'll like Plan B, and you won't be tempted to take peeks like I am, with WW being so far away.

Well, yeah... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Judging by the board here, there are quite a few good women left who still think marriage should not be disposable. I know what you mean, though.

I guess love is love and it hurts when you're betrayed, regardless of the gender makeup of the partners. I'll have to tell you sometime about when I was a beard date to the prom for a gay friend of mine. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hi Pebbles.

Yes, I admit I would have been worried if the OW had bought underpants for the children. Pretty dresses - standard bribery. Underpants - no, no, no! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Do tell. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I hate to bring this up, but I remember you mentioned that the kids are due to meet MOW this month?

I was wondering what they thought about that. I know how you must feel, of course.

{{{Pebbles}}}

Alph.