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Hi, Gimble. Okay, that's what I'll do. I won't send him a copy of the order. I'll just wait and see what he does, then call my lawyer if he violates the order. I suppose ignorance would not be accepted as an excuse to violate the order? You never know when you are going to get a head on a platter, complete with decorative veggies :-) Sounds...yummy???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hi, Pebbles.
You can ask Brits/Brat, but my understanding is that ignorance of the law is rarely an excuse to break it.
I am glad you sent the email.
I think that should just about do it. Double check all the locks and contingency plans.
God bless, Gimble
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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Hi, Pebbles.
Quote: ====================== I am just afraid that my daughter may be influenced by gifts. I am afraid that the kids might like her, but I guess I do hope she is kind to them, if she is going to be around for a long time (gag!). I am just afraid. ======================
Yep, you are afraid.
So, how is John's wife doing with her own son? She's quite the mother, aye?
I don't think you have much to worry about.
If all this goes sour a year from now, how do you think hubby will react when you are about to marry a rich guy that loves your kids? All the while hubby is looking for a job that embraces guys in active affairs.
He isn't thinking clearly yet. Fortunately, reality has mounted its fastest steed and is on the way, hair on fire.
Watch for it.
Gimble
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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I like what my son's friend said about me to him, "Your mom's cool. She's not afraid of anything, is she?" If he only knew. Don't let them know the truth. It's our job to make them feel safe, even if we don't feel safe. I guess love is love and it hurts when you're betrayed, regardless of the gender makeup of the partners. I'll have to tell you sometime about when I was a beard date to the prom for a gay friend of mine. Do you really want to let that skeleton out of the closet? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> The imagination just runs WILD!
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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Thanks, Gimble. You always have a way of making me feel better.
P.S. I've caught my hair on fire before (I was 5). It's quite a wake-up call, LOL. Maybe the firey-haired fast steed of reality will have an effect on a 42-year-old foggy male. Stop, drop and roll. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hey, Sleepless. It's our job to make them feel safe, even if we don't feel safe. Yes, that is the main mission, to make the kids feel safe. Someday I'd like to feel safe, too. I guess we all would. Do you really want to let that skeleton out of the closet? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> The imagination just runs WILD! Oh, I have lots of stories, LOL. I may be a goody-two-shoes, but I have had a life. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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"acerbic!" ahhhhhhhhh! And I used to be able to spell! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Pebbles, we Texans have identified your DD as one of US. Were there any Texas folkses at the OB wing where your D was born? Maybe a nice family with a pregnant mama from Dalhart passing through on vacation and a little switcheroo in the ole nurseryoo?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I do think Gimble had a good idea to not do anything but have your WS and the OW served if they introduce her to the kids. You could have MOW served at her parents home or at work. Now wouldn't that look nice?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Were there any Texas folkses at the OB wing where your D was born? I can't be sure, MelodyLane. I was too busy looking for my buddy the anesthesiologist with my epidural. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> My daughter may be tiny now, but she was an almost 9-pound baby! Yes, I am going to let WH handle the introduction of MOW to the kids on his own. If it's before the date stated in the court order, I know what to do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> I wonder if he'll try to call me to ask me about it. That's what he's done so far with the legal stuff.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Pebbles, your DD must have gotten her gusto from somewhere...could it be you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> My DD10 is a little peanut with an iron will. When she was 4 she wore her cowboy boots with EVERYTHING ! My sister was born in Texas so I figured thats where she got it from. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
aka-confused42 BS-45 me WH-42 DS-14 & DD-12 together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs "I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04 D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06 5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06 Recovery finally began Jan 2007 We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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For tonight's pickup I had the kids out the door when I saw WH pull up in the driveway, so I wouldn't be tempted to peek. He has been pulling up in the driveway now, instead of stopping at the curb in front of the house. It is very difficult for me to see what he's up to in the driveway (but I don't know if he knows that).
I closed the door and locked it right after the kids went out. A few seconds later, the doorbell rang. I had walked to the back of the house by then, so I just stayed there. I knew if it was one of the kids, they'd start yelling or ringing the doorbell repeatedly if I didn't answer. I waited a while, then after I was sure he'd left, I opened the front door to find an envelope with a support check (hopefully, wage assignment will start soon!).
A few minutes after that, the phone rang. Caller ID said it was WH's cell. I let it go to the answering machine. My son's voice left a message to check outside the door for an envelope. Son did have his own cell phone with him, by the way.
Why does he feel the need to hand me the checks personally? He knows the address (he lived here for almost 15 years), he could mail them until wage assignment takes effect. I don't really think he is trying to 'contact' me. Maybe he just isn't thinking (what else is new?).
We'll see if he comes to the door with the kids again in the morning, like he has been doing lately when he brings them home. I feel better not having seen him. I always get rattled when I do.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Sounds like he's trying to get a fix. Hang tough!
edited: hang tough is that a saying? It just came out...I guess I mean hang in there...toughly!
Last edited by confused42; 08/03/05 09:50 PM.
aka-confused42 BS-45 me WH-42 DS-14 & DD-12 together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs "I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04 D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06 5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06 Recovery finally began Jan 2007 We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Confused, I've had to dig down deep to find more gusto than I thought I had. My daughter seems to come by it naturally. When she was 4 she wore her cowboy boots with EVERYTHING ! Cute! She sounds like a girl who knows her own mind. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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WH just called for the 5th time since he went to Peurto Rico last night. He called my cell last night and I didn't answer, he called the house phone and I let the kids talk to him. He called at 7 AM before the kids were awake, I answered the phone but then woke up my daughter to talk to him DS was at a sleepover. He just called again at 11 PM I answered and told him DS was at another sleepover but I would wake up DD and he said not to bother her. I told me about his day, I told him about the kids and said I was about to go to bed myself and said good night. For a guy that has nothing to say to me...he sure does call a lot.
aka-confused42 BS-45 me WH-42 DS-14 & DD-12 together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs "I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04 D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06 5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06 Recovery finally began Jan 2007 We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Pebbles ~ good job withholding the fix!
My Al-Anon sponsor used to kid with me, and told me that once i started getting healthy, there were all kinds of healthy good things I could do to have fun and mess with WS brains ... without so much as breaking 1 tiny rule.
I think Gimble has come up with some good ones!
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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I'm sorry. I just need some clarification here SAR2. He walked out Sunday afternoon with NO clothes....nothing. You of course mean, "nothing, but the clothes on his back." He's not a drunk naked alien is he ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> You know SAR2. If you really want a Plan B. Jog down to the courthouse and file for divorce and financial support all in the same action. That SHOULD get his attention. From the looks of your registry date, you've been at this for some time. Sleepless
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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The parent company is very interested in the fact that one of their employees might be involved in an affair with a dealership they supply with parts. Lawyers make corporations REALLY jittery. If you really want fun, notify the local TV news station. "Local parts dealer supplies sexual favors to parts dealers for special kick backs.... News at 10" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> They want me to supply the 'relevant details' so they can investigate. What Gimble said, cold hard facts. The payroll department will find her, and possibly him. They don't need a store location. Also, at this point, will it still be beneficial to expose the affair at work? Or will I just look vindictive? You would be called vindictive no matter what. It's the apologists defense mechanism. Keep your tone firm but steady. Don't exaggerate. You'll be fine. Besides, who cares what "they" think??? [quote]Sorry if this is especially rambling. I only slept three hours last night and I'm pretty loopy now. /quote] And to top it off it was spent watching 6 boys revved up on sugar and caffeine!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Crank the A/C and take a nap. OK, I gotta go shift money around the bank accounts to see if enough money materializes to pay the mortgage, parenting evaluator, lawyer and cel phone bill tonight. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> It's only money!!
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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MelodyLane, that little Texan is a Californian! I guess she could be an honorary Texan. She does tend to be 'acerbic' (how very euphemistically worded, LOL). These Texans have such big egos <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />. Gotta love 'em. Of course Alaska makes Texas look like Rhode Island, but I digress. A Texas attitude may be what ML is referring to. It exists in other states too, but is rarely documented at the same concentration levels, and rarely seen in the San Francisco, Seattle, and Portland areas, or anywhere else they ask, "Can't we all just get along?" The territorial attitude is not afraid to identify right and wrong versus other locales where behavior is relative. It's a territorial battle, a belief in fighting for something wholesome or pure..... a family.... Love. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> A child does not care if she hurts someone's feelings when her own happiness and welfare is being trampled on. When you free yourself of the fear of what other people think about you fighting for what's right..... you get your daughter, or a large percentage of the population of Texas. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> So, do you think I should send WH a copy of the court order that states the children cannot be skankylosized until the 24th? ****** yes! Give the skankasaurs company some time to work. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> (Sorry for the salty language ladies)
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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If hubby does the deed before its time, then have him processed and a protection order brought against other woman. He just broke a court order. If he has already ticked the judge off enough, he just might find himself warming a stainless steel toilet/sink combo. OOOHHHH OOOHHH (Think Horshak!) I want to change my answer to Gimble's!!!! Stainless Steel toilet seats? I bet those are easier to clean. How do you think STBXWW would react to a stainless steel toilet seat as a gift??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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Sleepless..... Yes, he DID have clothes on his back! We have been having issues since about 2001, when his father passed away. At that time, my kids were in late teens..and you know how that can be...and the little secretary next door moved in for what she THOUGHT was the kill. She lost. Things were going great....but now we're having this alcohol issue...think his medications he's been taking for high BP are not helping at all. I will NOT file...no way. I don't want to shock him into anything. He's a bright man, and I do think that someday he'll get past this...I'm going to be hanging out right here when he comes to! Hope he does....I go through periods of faith, and periods of hopelessness. He's worth fighting for right now...I'll take it as long as I can, but at some point I'll have to retreat and take care of me, myself, and I. LOL....I can still see that naked man staggering out the back door! SAR2
P.S. Guess where I'm from???? TEXAS!!!!! It's a WHOLE other COUNTRY!!!!!!!
Last edited by SAR2; 08/04/05 12:28 AM.
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Someday I'd like to feel safe, too. I guess we all would. That's what God is there for. Feel safe in the knowledge that His plan will be done no matter what you do. Money is transient, only love is enduring. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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