Pebbles...
Thanks for the welcome. My WH is still in the "We're just friends!" stage. I have about 20 e-mails that prove the opposite, many with HER condemning me and calling me a "witch." He just says it was harmless banter. Yeah, that ripped my heart out. He walked out Sunday afternoon with NO clothes....nothing. Yes, I did send a "Kinda Plan B" letter that asked he address his alcohol issue and the "other women" issue before we had any kind of contact. No word from him, so now I'm in "Protect me" mode.

What's so odd is that I'm a 1950s housewife and I"m not even 50. I got married young...for LIFE. He has total control of everything...even my paycheck is direct-deposited into an account I don't have access to...unreal. I am SO stupid-but then again, isn't that what a real marriage should be...total trust?

I was doing great yesterday, but today I've been WAY down. I'm about to start ironing...for FUN!!!! Does that tell you anything??? Our kids are older and in college, so I haven't bothered them with this yet. They don't need the trauma, but it's coming, and I hate it for them. (They went through this in 2001.)

Looks like I'm battling not only the alcohol, but a three-time loser (men filed on HER every time) who just declared BANKRUPTCY last month. She can drag us down in a heartbeat financially, so I'm beginning to get some money set aside for me. It's not easy...especially when I have NONE...he has it ALL!

Ok...enough whining! Good luck with your WH too. I know Wednesdays are tough days...those pickups can be brutal. Poor WH-when he realizes what he's missed and his bubble bursts...I'd hate to be around.

Time for today's entertainment-----IRONING!!!!! I am soooooooo psyched!

SAR2

Hi, Alph.

My adventures as a beard. A story for another time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I have been wondering what to do about this. I don't know if WH knows the date okayed by the court order for them to meet the skankylosaur. He did not want a copy. He signed the agreement on the 4th of May, but it was not filed by the court until the 24th. He may think he can introduce her on Aug. 4th when it shouldn't happen until the 24th. I am wondering if I should send him a copy of the court order, highlighting the relevant sections. I don't want to ask the attorney to do it - too expensive. What do all of you think?

Gimble said the introduction of the kids into the affair may be the death knell. I can see how that might be so. It is still hard for me to think about, though, knowing how much WH is wanting to play 'happy family.'

SAR2, I am glad you are taking measures to protect yourself. I have read how the WS being an alcoholic can really complicate things.

Ironing for fun?????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> It has been so long since I've ironed. I think my iron has a layer of dust and cobwebs on it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

WH just left on surprise business trip...confirmed. He'll be away until Sunday. AAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH more [email]delays@!![/email]

Oh, confused! What a disappointment for you. At least he'll be out of your hair?

Its weird but I was really beginning to feel like...lets get on with this already!! It looks like I'll have 2 weeks of peace the day he gets back, the kids leave for a week. I don't anticipate seeing him that week either, afterall the only reason he is/was sticking around for the kids...he feels nothing for me. I've planned a busy week when the kids are away...I won't be home much.

I just got an email from the parent company of the auto parts chain MOW supposedly works for. I say 'supposedly' because she told my inlaws the name of the company she works for, but I have not been able to verify specifically which store employs her (chain of same-name stores). The parent company is very interested in the fact that one of their employees might be involved in an affair with a dealership they supply with parts. They want me to supply the 'relevant details' so they can investigate. What relevant details should I supply? Will they take me seriously if I don't know the exact store location?

Also, at this point, will it still be beneficial to expose the affair at work? Or will I just look vindictive?

Sorry if this is especially rambling. I only slept three hours last night and I'm pretty loopy now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

You know who the client is...I'm sure that they have info in their data base. Besides ethics most companies are interested in the bottom line. Were there any changes in revenue dealing with the client?...free merchandise? Dates would probably be important and any evidence of inappropriate activity on the company time. emails and such.
Continued exposure...I'll leave that to the pro's.

They answered your email. Thats being taken seriously.

Pebbles ~ I have to take mandatory code of conduct training every year. I can assure you that at my company at least, this would be considered quite serious.

Now that CS is coming in, how about a little detective work to get the details?

Go for it, Pebbles, it can't hurt anything and can only serve to squeeze Mz Ho-bag.

Why do I have this feeling that the MOW has more to fear from your D than she has to fear from her? Surely your D is going to be horrified at meeting this woman?

Hi, Pebbles.

Quote:
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They want me to supply the 'relevant details' so they can investigate. What relevant details should I supply? Will they take me seriously if I don't know the exact store location?
===============================

Provide both your husband's name and the adulteress's name. Also provide the name of your lawyer.
Keep the details brief, - they are wrecking our family, etc, and that "this type of behavior shouldn't be condoned by any corporation". Please use the quoted part verbatim.

Expose away.

Look at it this way Pebbles. The affair is not right. That is your husband until the courts say otherwise. Do whatever you legally can do to break the affair.

It is breaking your marriage. Fight back.

Consequences.

God bless,
Gimble

Hi, Mel.

Quote:
=============================
Why do I have this feeling that the MOW has more to fear from your D than she has to fear from her? Surely your D is going to be horrified at meeting this woman?
=============================

That is part of the reason that I believe that the affair will get beat to death in short order with the ugly stick of a ticked off daughter.

That, to a young girl, is about a big a threat as there is.

Pebbles should not coach her daughter one way or the other. Let the lord work with this one.

Pebbles, if daughter or son query you about what they should do, be honest. You don't know, but that what is happening is not right. Then leave it alone.

God bless,
Gimble

Girls just HATE interlopers with their daddies and I know how ascerbic Pebble's D can be. MOW may need protection from that little Texan. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

>MOW may need protection from that little Texan.



That's because demons are mortally afeared of a righteous Texan.

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR AWARD! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Okay, confused, BrambleRose, MelodyLane, and Gimble, I did it. I sent a return email to the Human Resources director at the parent company. Gulp.

The information I provided was her name, my husband's name and his job title and place of employment, and the time period involved. I also included how much the affair is hurting my family emotionally and financially.

I did use this phrase in my email, as you recommended, Gimble:
Right! If I don't do it, nobody will. I'm all we've got, God help us (with the backup of all of you here, of course).

Bam-Bam did seem worried that I would go on to try to 'ruin MOW's career' (his words) when he was yelling at me for calling her husband. This was months ago. I didn't know where she worked, then. Maybe there is something to this.

I just hope I don't end up looking like an idiot and there is nothing to this. I guess there is only one way to find out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

MelodyLane, that little Texan is a Californian! I guess she could be an honorary Texan. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> She does tend to be 'acerbic' (how very euphemistically worded, LOL).

So, do you think I should send WH a copy of the court order that states the children cannot be skankylosized until the 24th? He might think it can happen 90 days from the date he signed, the 4th. I'd have to do it myself, too expensive to ask the lawyer to do it. Or, should I just not postpone the inevitable?

Dealan-de, I hope that translates to skankylosaurs being mortally afeared of a tiny, fluffy-haired, righteous and acerbic Californian. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Pebbles.

If hubby does the deed before its time, then have him processed and a protection order brought against other woman. He just broke a court order. If he has already ticked the judge off enough, he just might find himself warming a stainless steel toilet/sink combo.

Your lawyer will know what to do.

You never know when you are going to get a head on a platter, complete with decorative veggies :-)

Never underestimate life's love of busting affairs, just for the fun of it.

God bless
Gimble

Gimble, I am not sure how the kids will react to meeting her. They seem to be getting used to the idea of their father living away.

Knowing my daughter (hee, hee), she will not react pleasantly and cooperatively to being given any direction by her dad's mistress. My son will probably be polite, but aloof. I won't coach them on how to behave. They do know that the situation with their father and his mistress/girlfriend is morally wrong and that their dad has choosen to be with her rather than our family (he told them that himself).

I am just afraid that my daughter may be influenced by gifts. I am afraid that the kids might like her, but I guess I do hope she is kind to them, if she is going to be around for a long time (gag!). I am just afraid.