Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 309
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 309 |
I know all of the stages of grieving that one goes through when going through finding out about the A. Then when there's a second d-day, it seems you go through it all over again. (For me it was worse the second time.)
After Dday #2, I was a wreck, tears non-stop 24/7 for couple days. Then the anger seemed to set in. I was not fighting or arguing with my WH, just had anger inside me.
Then, for the past few days I almost felt NOTHING. Not happy, not sad. I was telling my friend yesterday that I don't even feel sad. I couldn't have cried if I wanted to. I have all the paperwork filled out for the D (using a mediator).
I thought wow, maybe this is me being strong to get me through this.
Well, last night, out of nowhere I was laying in bed and the tears just flowed again. I can't say I was even thinking about it to make that happen. Man, this sucks.
Last edited by suzychapstick; 04/11/05 12:30 PM.
BW 42
WH 41
M 14 yrs
ds12,dd7
PA ?? mo/yrs.
Day 12/6/04, 3/20/05 and 9/2/05
"Fool me once, fool me twice, and he fooled me a third time?" I never really found out for sure...
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 921
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 921 |
Suzy, I know how you feel. I am getting a divorce that I filed before I found MB, and that I want to stop. But, my WW is deep in fog and is looking to relive her teenage years.
My emotions do the same thing. About the time I think I am doing great a wave of depression hits. Sometimes it just blindsides me out of nowhere. Then anger comes. My WW has put me through this 3 times in 9 years and she doesn’t seem to think a thing of it. She is out having fun while I am devastated. Some days I am happy she is gone. Other days I want her back so bad. Nights are the worst. I will reach for her in my sleep and she is not there.
The best thing to do is understand that your emotions are normal. I know it is so hard as I (and most of us here) are living it.
Keith
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 151
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 151 |
I think we're all on the roller coaster. It's confusing, and doesn't seem like it should be that way, but there it is. I didn't have a great day with my FWW yesterday either. We were at each other all day. You're doing great, keep it up!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 754
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 754 |
Hi Suzy,
I went through two D-Days too, we are still together and working on it. I think the second one was a lot more devastating, at least for me. If I remember your story right, your two d-days were a couple of months apart? Mine was over a year apart, although I had real signs of continued communication that I rationalized/listened to the lies/ignored.
I understand completely about the rollar coaster. I'm in the down mode right now myself. When I'm on the downside, I don't trust anything my H says and wonder why I am even trying. I can't concentrate on my work, family, nothing else but the A, the OW, the lies...
I wish you the best and hope it gets better for you!
Me-49, WH-51 Married 02/1983 yrs, Sons - 27, 26, 20 1st PA - 1985, 1st known EA - 1992/1993 2nd PA - 06/02 to 11/04 1st D-day - 09/03, D-day 2 - 10/04 D-day 3 05/08 NC e-mail - 11/04- it wasn't real
|
|
|
1 members (still seeking),
369
guests, and
60
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
|
Most Online6,102 Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|