O.k., my living hell is this,
my FWH had a ONS with a prostitute.
We are in IC and MC. He is remorseful.
He was drunk, blah, blah...

In MC I found out the supplier to his
company (a US auto supplier) while he was in China,
PAID for the hooker to go to the room. He did NOT
say NO! Stupid MF'er...(sorry)
If other husbands over there were also treated to the same 'thank you ' gift , I do not
know - husband says he does not know (?)
Should I care? I can't even control my own husband
much less anyone elses.

Anyway, I am so pissed and would LOVE to blow
the lid off this bull that is going on over there.
I have read it is very common!!!!
WTF ???????
He has told his boss he can no longer travel, other
guys are going over there still.

SHOULD I write an anonymous letter to CEO ?
WOULD he care?
What should I do?
Will it even make a difference???

It is so awful and vile that who knows what
is going on with wives at home and possible
STD's brought back ??????????

Should I just let it go and
keep trying to put the pieces of this
marriage back together and forget about
the company and the role they played in this?

I think you should take out front page ads in all the major newspapers in the country.

Were these willing prostitutes? Girls stolen as mere teens and forced into prostitution?

I'm appalled and sickened beyond belief.

Yeehaw, US auto mfr's now supporting prostitution and helping to destroy families. Not to mention the prostitute ring of forced endentured slavery???????

Is it GM?

How do you know this is true?

I work for one of the big 3 and we have very strict rules as to what our suppliers can or cannot do. Moreover, the suppliers need to re-certify themselves annualy and sign integrity agreements.

I'm not saying this wouldn't happen, but I'm suspect.

If you think it is really true that a vendor funded this, then I would contact HR right away. There is no company in their right mind that would tolerate this crap for 2 seconds. You would be doing the company and many other wives a big favor if you reported it. But are you sure it was a vendor and not your H did not set this up?

I worked for a large aircraft manufacturer, but never had such an experience on my travel to Asia. I have, however heard of the practice with purchasing people. I've also heard that they turned down the "gift", and reported it directly to the ethics department.

This practice is not openly condoned by the large manufacturers. Heck we had guys get in trouble for having pictures of their family at the beach that some people found offensive!!

Don't jump the gun too fast. I would bet a paycheck your husband's company didn't pay for the prostitute. But that doesn't mean it didn't happen. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Sorry about the mess.

SIS

I have had so many technical problems replying to this.
AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH !

Okay. Sorry if I did not make it clear that my FWH's
company is an American based company-a major big 3 auto supplier in the Detroit area.
The company that he says paid for the hooker is an ASIAN based company who supplies my husbands company.
He was in China on a business trip when this happened.
Sorry if that was not clear.

Can I prove it ? Of course not.
Do I think he is lying about this? I don't think so although it is possible. I assumed on DDAY he paid for her to come to his room. We did not discuss this part in detail as I was busy having a nervous breakdown. In MC it came up. If he is lying about who paid for her I don't know why.
He f***ed a whore, what does it matter who pd?


I have just read up on this sort of thing and found
out that in China this is fairly common for companies over
there to do. It is like sending a fruit basket.
(I want to throw up)

It matters very much because, although he let her in, it demonstrates liability on their part versus your H. Again, if I were sure the vendor planned and paid for the hooker, I would be calling up your H's HR department and reporting this. His company surely doesn't want this kind of stuff to happen to their employees and would put pressure on their vendor to knock it off.

It matters to me who paid.

I do not want to support companies with my money who support prostitution.

Not only because of the families but also because of the prostitution rings which exploit children/young girls/young boys and force them into sexual slavery.

It's just so disgusting and inhumane all the way around.

Look what it has done to you.

***I have just read up on this sort of thing and found
out that in China this is fairly common for companies over
there to do. It is like sending a fruit basket.
(I want to throw up)***

{{{tlsmi}}}

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

There seem to be more than a few BSs here whose WSs have traveled in Asia.

My WH was just spent a week in China.

He's leaving again this Sunday for another week in China.

Would you please post about where you "read up" on this sort of thing?
Thanks -
Mulan (the name of a Chinese heroine, what a koinkidink)

for

Have you and your husband been screened for STDs yet?

Dobie

If it is true then EXPOSE!!!!! Call newspaper companies, e mail Oprah, Dr Phil, 20/20 , etc. USA companies need to know so they will stop doing business with them and teach them that practices like this are not acceppted by americans.

I did not really mean to say "it doesn't matter who paid" - yes it does, I WANT to do the right thing here and
it DOES matter.
I found this on japantoday.com (it does speak of prostitution in China as well)


"Two employees nailed for consorting with prostitutes in China
doerdan (Oct 2 2004 - 16:38)


It's quite true that foreign business will sometimes hire prostitutes. (I really don't think most do however.) In Thailand Singaporean, German, American, Japanese, Korean, Tawainese, and especially Australians regularly hire prostitutes.

It's alwo very true that in China nowdays, prostitution is virtually everywhere. The prostitute debacle last year in the southern city of Zhuhai (known in China as "Prostitute City") highlights how pervasive it is. Most of these girls (and boys) are rural kids in need of some economic opportunity. Officials look at it with a tad bit of acknowledgment--people need money to survive, especially the people from areas without good jobs. Chinese company heads regularly ply potential business partners with prostitutes, (under the guise of Karaoke bar hostesses), and even the officials partake in this type of often not-so clandestine activity."

This was the only one I printed out at the time
I will try to find other info.
The 'karaoke' bar was just where they went that night
and all got drunk.

Yes, we were both tested for STD's after I found out
and are clear but have to go back in 4 months or so for
more tests. I just found out in Feb.

I WILL find out the name of this vendor/supplier
and am going to do something. I just can't take
having this information and sitting on it right now.
I am just sick. Physically sick.

I respectfully disagree, the practice of entertaining clientele with strippers, prostitutes, lap-dances, and so on is very much supported albeit 'under wraps' by corporate America!

Vendors take their clients out all the time. Not just in Asia. HUGE bills are tallied. I know men who do the "hosting". They are in industrial sales, finance, the medical industry. They are very nice men. They go to church. They wouldn't hurt a fly. You've probably met some of them. They will spend thousands of dollars at men's clubs a night to make/keep their clients happy.

I was appalled that my good, fine, upstanding friends would do this but I was also curious. I wanted to know - what do they do when the client they have to entertain is a woman?

Answer: They take her to a fancy dinner, buy expensive wine, possibly buy her a gift, get her a little boozey, flirt with her and see what develops.


Please, please don't think this is new stuff. It's not.

Note* while Phil thought it scandalous to have an A but went and did anyway, he's one of only two men in his company (that I know of) who refuse to join in prurient entertainment. Rather, he's known for his puritanism! HA! I just think that's kind of funny.

Sally

Sally, I think everyone knows that this is not "new stuff," but in most corporations today it is not tolerated. That kind of behavior leaves corporations wide open for lawsuits. I have worked for 2 top 10 Fortune 500 companies since 1989 and know the culture. It is because of that that I can say that we would not tolerate a vendor company who supplied whores. Golf, yes. Whores, no. I don't know of any company personally who would tolerate it.

Sally,
You are right, I believe, when you say
it happens all the time. Maybe not in this
exact way but I used to process expense
report for this SAME company (US)
The things that passed my desk...the 'clubs'
would use a 'doing business as' name for
credit card receipts so no one would be the
wiser. We caught on to it after awhile.

I was told to pay them if they were under our
audit amount and approved by managers or VP's
and they were always approved.
Now things have changed. Times became tough and due to financial stresses the companies are not so
nice about 'entertaining' clients, especially
in the automotive world.

Like I said, I no longer work there, but I know
they were cracking down on it about the time I
left.

Disgusting.

MelodyLane,

I meant no offense by my post. I got the impression you thought I was saying we're all ignorant and stupid - rather the opposite. I don't consider myself to be either of those -current mess with Phil's A notwithstanding!

Somewhere on the periphery, we’re aware that prurient entertainment is all around. It's just not in the realm of my personal experience. Unless I was told or learned on the job like tlsmi, I would never have known how prevalent this sort of entertaining is.

When these college buds, people I went to parochial school with -- when they told me how much and how often they will entertain clients in order to secure business, I was FLOORED. Stunned and in disbelief.

Do I argue that most companies have standards in place for employee conduct that would prohibit lascivious entertainment? No. Is the whole stripper/lapdancer/pross sub-culture still expensed as a reward/motivator for some business clients? Yes, it is. It just isn't within our realm of personal knowledge.

I'd rather have the ski trip or the golf boondoggle myself. Truly, I did not intend any insult. Please forgive?

Sally

Sally, no offense taken at all! I know that this does go on to some degree in various industries and would never argue that point. In fact, I took customers for a week long vacation to Hawaii last year and I could have charged off whatever I wanted and no one would be the wiser. Thankfully, I work for a company that wouldn't tolerate it, nor does the environment tolerate it.

It may well be true but isn't some care required before slighting a whole nation on the basis of something that might be hearsay.....
As an Aussie who has worked in Asia I have no experience of Japanese companies, at least, entertaining foreigners this way, but I may be untypical.
***Just noticed that this came from japantoday.com.
I find it interesting that foreigners are mentioned, since it was my impression that prostitution and pornography are more acceptable in Japan than they would be in the other countries listed. Pornography is openly viewed (on trains etc), brothels are clearly advertised, so I have little doubt that some Japanese companies entertain (other Japanese clients) this way. This was the nation that invented the geisha.
*** Threadjack over...

Mel,

Sorry. It is not a question of tolerance. It is a question of addressing ONLY those issues that are problems.

On an issue like that, most companies will only take steps after they are burned.

A simple numbers game. An impending problem is NOT a problem in most cases. They have "better" things to worry about.

And in support of Sally's comment, yes it does happen here (in the US). I once worked for a guy who almost made "entertainment by vendors" a sport. The company eventually caught on and he was fired, but it took quite some time. He had lots of fun at their expense. And went to get a different job, probably to start the shennanigans again.

It can really be a shame how some behave. Those of us with character have to wonder where else these people will "compromise" for selfish gain.

Pretty scary. As long as there are people wanting, there will be people providing. Some things never change.

NCW

I know my wife and her colleagues have travelled often to China. My wife is half Chinese, but that has probably never happened to them since they're Federal employees. Probably bad idea to initiate International incident.

I would still complain to the U.S. manufacturer about the environment over there.

He f***ed a whore, what does it matter who pd?

OK, it may matter a little who paid, but we wouldn't be having this discussion about who paid if it weren't for the *** part.