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One of the best days since we started talking again happened yesterday, when NotTooLost's lawyer sent us the "Letter of Reconciliation" to file with the court, completely ending the divorce. It was great closure to the pain of seeing "Lost vs. Lost" on so many documents in the last few months.
Everything has gone so quickly, I know NTL has been scared by the pace of this, but at the same time it feels like a lifetime ago when I started posting here. We've done so much work, and spent more quality time talking in the last two months than we probably have in the last five years. We've had several sessions with Jennifer Harley, and she's been amazingly helpful and encouraging. (Our next appointment is in a month, so I imagine we're getting close to "graduating"!) We've had some ups and downs with meeting ENs and avoiding LBs, finding new ones but also new ways of coping with the inevitable bad days. But overall, it's been steady and wonderful. Between the marriage, the affair, the kids, the budgets, and the job, we're working on so much stuff, my IC has recommended a "vacation" for a couple days to keep us on track. Sounds good to me!
I certainly have the time for it! I was downsized from my job earlier this month, so NC still continues during my unemployment. OW has apparently been signing NTL and I up for email lists from The Right Start and Baby GAP, etc., so I finally had to delete my long-time Yahoo email address to close off all opportunity for contact. The only way she could now is to call or come to our house, and that's not really her style. The job search is ongoing and I've had several interviews, but there is a little severance left and unemployment insurance will help soon. And another interview today!
Our plan is still to have NC with OC. It's the best of many bad options, unfortunately. With everything weighed out, there is just no way to risk the damage her lies and nuttiness would have on our marriage and family.
Thanks again to everyone here... I know that NONE of this would have happened without the encouragement and support you've all shown us for the last couple months. Your time spent here has helped save at least one family. Thank you!!!
Last edited by Lost71; 04/29/05 09:12 AM.
me FWH 34
BW 36
M 10/92;DD 10,6
PA-7/92;8/96
PA 2/04-8/21/04
Recov 8/21/04 Relapse 11/04
OW Preg 12/23/04
BW Filed D 2/10/05
NC OW 2/23/05
R 3/11/05
D stopped! 4/29/05
OC Born 8/18/05
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Okay. See? Logging on just to check....AND BAM!!!!! This effing rocks!!!!! Can I say effing here???? Justuss???
I'm sorry...but it does!
NTL - you and L - OMGoodness! I'm just sittin' here all teary and happy. Good Friday? This is a GREAT Friday!
Going to hug dh right now....then the kids...then dh.
Smackaroonies NTL and L! I think it's time to start thinking of new screen names....like, fiercer,stronger,better...or workingtruths...
And give smackaroonies to your irl buds that have been your guardian angels in the flesh. God was looking out for you when he placed them in your paths.
- Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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I just wanted to tell the two of you Congratulations! I am so very happy for you! I hope the two of you remember to appreciate each other and continue to work on your marriage. It takes a long time! I am so excited for the two of you!
Married 5 years. Together almost 14 years.
Age 30
DDay March 2004
OC Born June 2004
2nd Dday Feb 2005
My daughter was born 7/22/05.
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[color:"purple"]How wonderful for your both!!!! It is such a happy day for you guys! I hope that you can go out and celebrate together! I'm so happy for you that I don't know what else to say! Keep up the good work, and don't ever forget what you have learned over these past couple months! [/color]
Tigger
me~BS & WS~38~~h~BS & WS~37 my d-days~7/92, 1/96, 7/00, 9/07
h's d-days~7/11/00 & 2 weeks later 3 COM, 1 OC(mine)
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Congratulations!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
me-34
xH-38
DD 10/03
D-day 11/03 (cellphone)
Talked-Day 01/04
H left-02/04
Divorce-05/04
xH left -false recovery 1 week- 08/04 -told about OC
OC-07/04
xH left -false recovery 6 weeks- 12/01/04
12/02/04 DESTRUCTION OF MILY MUST END
1/17/05 - Started dating
11/05 - CS and visitation established at Court
02/28/06 - xH moves back after 2 yrs!
10/16/07 - asked xH to leave - he's still in a relationship with OW
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[color:"red"] YAY! Good job! Remember what you have learend & you will also be able to share it w/ others. It is very important to share the HAPPY endings. kwim?
Take care of YOU & your marraige & your family!
Enjoy yoru vacataion & make some wonderful NEW memories!
BTW: where ya' going? anywehre special? or in particular? lol
xoxoxo
kt[/color]
[color:"red"]Some things can NOT be fixed.[/color]
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Hurrayyyyyyyyy!!! GREAT news!!! But don't think now that you're on the Road to Recovery you can just wander off! You've got to stick around and keep us updated and pass on the encouragement to others still struggling!! We still need BOTH of you!! Way to go BOTH Mr & Mrs Lost!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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CONGRATULATIONS!! This is wonderful news! You and your family deserve happiness. Please keep us posted on your recovery and progress.
Me - 42
WH - 37
M - 4 1/2 years; together 9
No Kids
WH - Multiple A's and OC
D-Day - 2/03, 11/30/04
In Recovery
No Weapon formed against me shall prosper!
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Lost, you have come such a long way since your very first posting. We are all extremely proud of you and your wife. So happy to see one more marriage saved! Congrats ~Michele
M 13 years, together 17
BW-31 (me), WH-33
S-15, S-12, D-born 8/1/04
OC (boy) born 8/25/04
D-Day 8/31/03, 3/1/05
A started 12/02, ended 3/16/05
XOW is married also, we were ALL best friends, were being key word!
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I am so happy for you guys! You guys really have worked so hard and it really shows by the way YOU express yourself! if your wife would like to email me she is welcome too...and you are too... momto3boys@stx.rr.com
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Thanks again everyone. Without a doubt, it was your help, the Flukes' care and concern, and the awesome counseling we got from the Harleys that made it possible. All gifts from God. It's still a process of course, trying to balance and master the work from both IC and MC, but it's working. Having some key groundrules as a "firewall" against regressing (like POJA and NC -- ten weeks now!) has been crucial. At this point, prayers about finding a new job -- especially the RIGHT new job -- are very needed. I'm checking into a new screen name with the mods... maybe WasLost71? We'll see what they say. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by Lost71; 05/05/05 08:22 AM.
me FWH 34
BW 36
M 10/92;DD 10,6
PA-7/92;8/96
PA 2/04-8/21/04
Recov 8/21/04 Relapse 11/04
OW Preg 12/23/04
BW Filed D 2/10/05
NC OW 2/23/05
R 3/11/05
D stopped! 4/29/05
OC Born 8/18/05
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Providence. I tell Nio that...Providence always happens as the exact right time (smirky face)....
Congrats again!
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Hi Lost,
Don't know if you remember me from way back(GQII) but I tracked you down to see how you and the Mrs were doing and I am very glad it's good news.
Keep up the good work and I wish you both all the best!
O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
---------------
~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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