TTSi -

Just wanted to let you know I am still here (though not as much anymore)...when are we doing the TX MB gathering?



TM

Just got back in town LATE tonite...
a bit over 12 hours drive... whew!
(had to drive as we had much stuff to take with us.)

Yes, the product launch was pretty much a success.
Supposedly will have some orders Monday, we'll see. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'll get back in here after sleep and post a bit better and more detail.

TM, yes we still need to have the get together. I don't know when the "official" one is supposed to be, but we definitely have to meet sometime. Beer + food or something like that.

oh man I need bedtime now.

Uhh, it's been awhile since I posted. Work is still many hours each day and I don't get much time to get things updated as much as I'd like here.

Tomorrow is the big day. I'll be in court tomorrow afternoon to finalize everything. It should be pretty quick, as it doesn't look like she'll be there or have any representation there at all.

I don't know what else to say right now.
Someone earlier today who knew what tomorrow was, asked how I was feeling. The only thing I could say was that I felt like a failure. Even though I know I tried. It still feels that way.

Feel it, but don't own it. She failed you, her marriage and her dignity. She put no effort into repairing the damage, but simply whimpered when her own decisions made her uncomfortable and pushed you away..

Our choices and our decisions define us. Be proud of what you did and attempted to do. She is ill, you know that. Figure out what attracted you to that woman......and avoid those things in all future prospective companions!

HI, TTSi. Stop it! No failure imho. YOu tried. BUt we all learn that terrible lesson that it takes two to tango. RIght? My D will hopefully be completed by year end. If I am lucky.

Burnt out. ANd realize that I am worth way more than the crumbs I got from the DOrk.

TTsi,

{{{{{{{{{{{TTsi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am sending my support.

Today is the day...day of closure. You tried so diligently...that effort is a statement about you. You learned, you changed, you grew...you took responsibility for your part of the equation....you can have a clear conscience and look back knowing you did everything you could. You are defined by the your effort and your intent....

Although today will be a sad day, it is also a day of freedom and new beginnings, knowing you fought the good fight and going forward with the new found wisdom and stronger sense of self.

God bless, TTsi....may peace be with you on this day..

TTSi -

You did not fail. You earned your way out of your marriage.

You and I both can hold our heads high when speaking of this experience in our lives...we should never think any less of ourselves due to our WW's poor life choices.

So how did everything go???

I will be coming through San Marcos & New Braunfels next week. Email me if you want to grab a beer...


TM

TTSI, thinking of you and hoping yo are well.


slh

TTSI, My divorce was final one week ago tomorrow and as soon as the judge said rendered, I felt a sense of relief come over me...Finally it was over! finally I knew where I was going, and what I was doing!

I hope that things went well for you today...You did not fail...look at this as a learning experience! I think you know in your heart you did not fail, but it is hard to sync our hearts and soul at times!

Thank you all for your thoughts and words. I appreciate it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Today was rough, that's an understatement to be sure.
As expected, she did not show up. The whole thing took maybe 90 seconds. And everything happened right up at the bench with the Judge. Heck, the longest part was me being sweared in by the Judge.

They didn't ask any real questions, which I guess surprised me a bit. Just the basics, my name, who I was married to etc. I guess XW wrote a letter to the court asking for her maiden name back, but that was all. My lawyer asked me if my marriage was irreparably harmed, I said yes, and the judge granted a summary divorce. That was it. The final decree will be drawn up now, I sign it and finished. (Although as I type, I am legally divorced now. I guess the decree is just a formality)

Walking away from it all, was just a surreal experience, best that I can decribe. I can't say it brings any feelings of relief or closure.
I do know that walking away from it all, I started to get angry. I still am. Of course about all the things that have happened, but also because there is no real feeling of justice. And to me, that's what going into a courtroom is supposed to be about. It's like, they just get away with it all, and I don't mean just XW, I mean OM as well.

I felt like I went through a drive through. "oh, you want a divorce? OK. Want fries with that? Can I super-size you?"

How the legal system just brushes marriages off makes me sick.

I don't know what I expect from it. Should OM go to jail for his role in this? yeah of course. should XW? probably.
Frankly, I'm surprised more OM aren't brutally killed by the betrayed spouse. Since they always get away scot-free.

Anyway, enough of that rant...

Binder,
I hear what you are saying. Luckily, I think I've identified what traits are warning flags for these type of people. What does scare me is, at the time we were dating/married, those traits weren't there. It wasn't until later that I started seeing them. Hopefully, if there is ever another time, I'll be wise enough to see what's really there.

FAA,
It's a hard lesson. Made an even harder lesson to swallow when I realized it was my failure in judgement, when I thought I had picked someone that I thought would never do this.

SS,
It's hard to shake the feeling that maybe I could have done something different, or something else altogether that may have saved this. Not that I necessarily have regrets, just disappointments, that I hope do not turn into regrets.


TM,
Sounds good to me. I do have some business people coming in on Tues and Thurs. Not sure if I have to go to dinner with them either of those nights. But I'd like to get to meet finally. I need your email though.

SLH,
Doing as best as I can. Thank you for your continued support. Every little bit does help <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

MT3B,
I don't know why I feel like I failed. I know I tried more than probably 99% of the people out there. I guess I feel that way because I did what 99% of the other people out there wouldn't do, and it didn't even matter to XW.

TTSi-

You can email me at geckogoon@yahoo.com ...

I am with you on the "justice" issue. It looks like my STBXWW is going to come out waaaaayyyyy ahead when it's all said and done. She may end up getting the house, BOTH her cars, the investment property, and the DPM degree.

What do I get? If I am lucky, enough to put me at 0. If I am really lucky, I might walk away with twenty or so thousand dollars. Sure seems like cheap labor - a little more than two thousand per year.

Justice? Yeah, right.



TM

Finally got around to emailing you!

I could rant a bit more about justice... But I'll spare everyone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Just makes me angrier thinking about it anyway!

TTSi,

How ya doing? Any updates?

Just want to wish you a happy holiday. Hope you have peace and joy in your life with a fresh new start right around the corner. Blessings of the season to you, TTSi.

ss........