It's been hard, but I think the space has been good for me. I know that I have to give up the OM and have been struggling through withdrawal, though its not as bad as it was in the past. It has been nice to have some space and time alone to decompress from all the drama. I had a good IC session exploring and figuring out the needs that OM was meeting and what it is I need. Emotional intimacy is what I need and I dont know if Bass will be able to give it to me, but he needs to try. He's never had it with anyone in his life so it will be a challenge for him to open up on a real level. Intimacy is not physical, and thats the only way he has understood it.

thanks
win

Bass-

You know that I've been talking occasionally with Win on the other thread in GQII. I was curious how things were going for you since you came back from your trip?

Well, Owl, it's honestly gone pretty frickin' bad over here. I went through Win's chat archives while I was away on my trip and she was totally out of control almost the whole time. She is about to go PA with OM#whatever (I've lost count), a 21-year old married guy that's local. She still continues begging the original OM to take her back into his heart. And there's another 19-year old guy who lives less than a mile away that she's also pursuing. She got drunk a number of nights and was basically whoring herself out on the internet. The most hurtful though were the emails to two different people stating she was moving out in two weeks, when school ends, something she has completely denied after I first found out about it (see the first post in this thread).

I decided today that I'm sick of living in these conditions...and she's leaving anyways, so why not just have it out now? I confronted her tonight about the chat archives and she again tried to lie and say that wasn't what she meant. I've decided I'm not falling for it anymore. I asked her to move out this weekend. She can go do her thing all she wants, but it won't be under a shared roof with me. So it's pretty much official, I am getting divorced. Sucks for our kids, but this can't continue. She's never going to love me again, and I'm never going to trust her again.

Bassist, I'm very sorry.

Win-Bin, you may want to investigate internet addiction support groups if you find you cannot stop.

Bass-

As I said in the other forum, I'm very sorry to hear this. I do hope that things work out for all of you in the best possible way.

Win-
I think the advice about trying looking for an internet addiction group might not hurt.

Bass ... she doesn't love or trust herself. That is obvious. Healthy happy adult women don't behave this way.

I posted to both of you on GQII before I read this update ... but ... I'm not sorry I made the effort.

I wish you well.

Pep

Yes I love myself. Yes I am UNHAPPY!

Are B's chat allegations while he was gone true?

If so, admitting you have a problem is a good place to start.

There is NO good to come from seeking confort outside a marriage...NONE!

That barrier between you will remain until YOU STOP!!! I am sure B has issues and he needs to work on them.

Admit yours and begin working!

Win Bin, if you're checking in.... Do you want a divorce?

What about you Bassist?

I absolutely don't want a divorce. I want Win to be happy and for us to find a new way to co-exist in peace. But if she can't be happy with me then it's OK it she wants a divorce.

I feel we haven't put the work in though, as she is still chatting and I obviously need much more counseling to work on intimacy issues and selfishness.