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And I told her this morning that I would appreciate it if she'd talk 2 me about any and all correspondence with RM. You may have told her that, those words may have come out of your mouth, but this is what she heard: "It's OK to keep disrespecting me - I'm willing to live like this. Just tell me when you're disrespecting me." Sorry, Pal. I think your choice is to continue to be miserable in a painful and unfulfilling relationship, or jetison that relationship with the reasonable expectation of being no more miserable - and possibly happy - and NO painful relationship with her. Status quo or potential improvement. WAT
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Becasue it's too hot there.
I'm a CA, remember.
But then, I suppose it depends mostly on my inclination.
Last edited by Aphelion; 05/16/05 01:32 PM.
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And I told her this morning that I would appreciate it if she'd talk 2 me about any and all correspondence with RM. Is this NEWS for her? I mean haven't you already gone down this discussion route? And do you really expect compliance from her? Why should she? Pep
Last edited by Pepperband; 05/16/05 01:58 PM.
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Allow me to revise by prior recommendation just a little -
Take the painful but necessary steps to begin the process of disolving the marriage.
See an attorney and proceed in that direction with intent to get separated and then conclude a divorce. You can do Plan B once physically living apart.
She needs to see you draw a line in the sand and play hardball. To see you get resolute.
WAT
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2long is 2nice and has been 2complacent. She takes full advantage of his being 2nice to his detriment with complete disregard of his feelings. She also has lately taken to manipulating him with SF. I cannot believe she shows her true self to our beloved 2long.
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
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2Long -
You're walking EXACTLY where I've been. I know it hurts...and it will hurt more, too.
I can't way what is best for you, but I can say that I have not for 1 second regretted what I have done by forcing the issue and separating.
Life is much, much more peaceful now.
Georgia
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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2 Long:
I relate to your feelings about your WW when you speak about your UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for her.
I know I'm just getting to know you.
Would you mind sharing with us again?
What is your FEAR ABOUT PLAN B?
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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"Don't ever talk to RM again -- but let me know if you do"
HUH?
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'Love Must Be Tough', unconditional or not. There is a method...there can be a plan. Something more effective than what you've been trying so far.
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
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Right, Lexxy.
If you need to tell her not to talk to him, why would she tell you if she does?
She is a liar and deceitful. I guess you already know that.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Okay, Pep, WAT:
You're choiring 2 the preach, here.
Advice about some thoughts:
*I email another confrontation letter 2 RM, explaining what "NO CONTACT" means, and telling him that I know he's in one of the "alienation of affection" states and I know a crackerjack bible-totin' lawyer in his former home town.
*I do nothing until I've spoken 2 either Penny or counselor1 (if she's still out there)... ...or Steve Harley (though his price will really set my W off - not that I care).
*fire all of my guns at once and explode in2 space. ...well, I'm already in space, so gun firing would be unnecessary.
-ol' 2long
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Advice about some thoughts: No No and No You have her pack up and move out and you see an attorney. Susan
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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why not? I'd really enjoy that
why not? they're wise, aren't they?
well, she offered 2 leave next month. I can take her up on that offer. (I think I did. Going 2 have 2 dig in my memory of the convo).
I think I CAN (and would rather) negotiate the separation.
and why not? but I don't have any guns.
edited 2 add: I have phone numbers for 2 "family attorneys" or "family moderators" - can't remember - that were given 2 me by my first IC here at work. Call one of them?
What about exposure?
-ol' 2long
Last edited by 2long; 05/16/05 02:59 PM.
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For such a smart guy, you sure are naive.
Do you actually believe her explanations?
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I do nothing until I've spoken 2 either Penny or counselor1 (if she's still out there)... ...or Steve Harley (though his price will really set my W off - not that I care). What can any of them tell you that you have not already heard? Why on earth don't you just do what you know you should do? Susan
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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2Long -
I'm glad you're in good hands with your friends here.
I will catch up on Wednesday.
Georgia
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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well, she offered 2 leave next month. I can take her up on that offer. too passive more action mister Pep
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well, she offered 2 leave next month. I can take her up on that offer. (I think I did. Going 2 have 2 dig in my memory of the convo). She should NOT be the one making the decisions here! Exposure? pffffffffttt! This has gone on too long already. It is not going to change. Susan
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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edited 2 add: I have phone numbers for 2 "family attorneys" or "family moderators" - can't remember - that were given 2 me by my first IC here at work. Call one of them? Calling an attorney is not the same thing as hiring an attorney ... just what are your intentions? Pep
Last edited by Pepperband; 05/16/05 03:12 PM.
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2long,
I sure feel for you.
I haven’t a clue what you should do. Well, maybe a clue - but not one I could take to a jury of MB peers.
Our W’s seem to be identical twins, as you already know.
So for the record, I will be studying the outcome closely.
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