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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 2 |
I don't know how to do this. My daughter answered a cell message to hear a "strange woman's" voice. She (my daughter) needed to tell me and I confronted him. We've been married 18 years, he has always been a heavy drinker - it finally ended our sex life. Now he tells me "I thought you expected me to do it, we have no intimate relationship". I have never been unfaithful - and I never expected it. What can I do? Please, someone help me to figure this out.
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 11
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 11 |
Hi. Sorry to meet you here. The first place to start is reading! Read some of the columns on this website about relationships. They are very insightful. The other thing is to get some counseling if you can. The flood of emotions is overwhelming.
Do you know whether you're willing to try to work it out? Look into Plan A and Plan B on this site. Also make sure you understand that you don't have to make that decision right now. And even if you say you want to work it out, you can take it back. He broke his vows, not you.
Your story with the drinking and sex is very similar to mine, except yours is drawn out for a longer period of time. What does he say about the drinking? Are you willing to rev up the sex life if he handles the drinking? I/we got into counseling immediately and my counselor recommended ALANON. (That's the support group for family members.) She said that it was a great place to learn why alcoholics act the way they do. I'm sure you can find loads of info on the web about it. One thing though, she said that every group is different depending on the members and you might need to try several groups before you get a good one.
Unfortunately, I don't yet know "how to do this". I just posted a cry for help myself, but I know that I'll be okay whether WE are or not and so will you. Take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up over this. You've come to the right place and the people here are great help. Please keep posting and feel free to message me privately if you want.
Lindsay
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 2 |
Lindsay,
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts - I would like to talk to you more - I am so new to this site and am still trying to navigate. Please bear with me and I will try to figure out how to Email you .
RuthieJane
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