I found out in October that my husband was having an affair with a woman that works in the same school system as him. I confronted him about it and told him if he still wanted to be with me and work things out I would be willing if he broke off all contact with her and focused on fixing our marriage. He said he would. However, things still seemed like they were going on and he didn't come home one night and my brother saw him out with this same woman. I then kicked him out and told him he could only come back if he would go counseling with me and 100 percent break contact with this other woman. Although at this point it was hard to believe anything he was telling me. I took his word that he really broke it off this time. I made a counseling appointment and he came back home. The counseling only lasted two sessions of which he did not comply with what the therapist suggested. Since I have found out this feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to someone. I am not myself at all. I cry all the time and am very irritable. This is on my mind 24 hours a day. I don't know what to do at this point. I took him back after finding out twice that he was lieing to me and involved with this woman. He does not act sorry for what he has done and just expects me to forget about. He won't cooperate with counseling which is very important to me. I feel that he should be going out of his way to make things right. Lastly the worst part is after taking him back these two times I told him if I found out he was with her again, because this would actually be considred a realtionship with this other woman in my opinion. I would not give him any more chances. Since he has been home he was still coming home late after work and claiming to have all of these chiropractic appointments three times a week, then he works for the schools and on January 19th we had alot of snow and school got cancelled.When that happens he does not have to go to work AND gets paid for it. In the almost 7 years we have been married he has never gone in on a snow day. He did this day which made me 100% convinced he was STILL involved with this woman. My sister decided to drive past his place of employment to see if he was really at work. His car was there but as she was turning the corner there was the other woman's car parked on the side of tghe warehouse my husband works in. This was the last straw that pushed me over the edge. I don't understand how he could ever have done this in the first place. But this was more than a one night stand. my sister seeing her there that day means it had been going on since October, 4 months. Also between the second time and this third time I caught him, we found out I was pregnant with our fifth child. So finding out he was still talking to her for the third time even when we found out I was pregnant somehow has hurt me even more. I kicked him out again but he came back and said this is his house too and he won't leave. I have four children two of which are in school so it's hard for me to up and leave. However I am not dealing with this well. Nothing more has happened since January that I know of. But he is still dening beinfg with her that day. He says she was there for someone else and not him. I am not stupid. I told him if he even expects to work things out I want the whole truth. I KNOW he's lieing about that day. He is sticking to his lie. He also was diagnosed bipolar and won't take medicine. I tolkd I want the truth and for him to at least try the medicine or talk to someone or I want a divorce. He won't give me what I want yet he won't talk about going our separate ways either. It seems to me he wants the best of both worlds. I can't live my life like this anymore I am pregnant and a nervous wreck half the time. If he doesn't care enough about me to give me what I want or try to work on things should I just pack my stuff and up and leave with the children. I don't know what to do?????????????????

Only YOU can make the decision whether or not your marriage is worht saving but the fact that you are here demonstrates that you probably have not given up on your marriage.

Realize though that even if you carry out a flawless Plan A/Plan B, there is no guarantee that it will be saved/rebuilt but the advantage of Dr Harley's Plan A/Plan B is that no matter what the fate of your marriage turns out to be, you will come out ahead and be able to move on with your life without carrying the baggage left over from your marriage.

Are you up to the challenge?

TMCM

Your story sounds so familiar. I too just caught my husband in an affair and it has been so many lies and broken promises. I keep waiting for the remorse and have not seen it. It would make me feel better if I could see he felt horrible for what he has done. I think he is just sorry he go caught. He told me the other day that he does not regret having an affair. I sometimes feel my husband does not have emotion and cannot feel someone elses pain. He is so wrapped up in himself that he can't see what he has done to his wife and children. I keep waiting for him to see this, but I am beginning to think that it will never come. Hang in there. I wish I could say it gets better. I have been going through this for over a month and feel like I am going crazy and have not seem much improvement.