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About three years ago my husband had an affair with his ex-girlfriend..........I found about it..........by leaving him home by him self and setting up a type recorder..............he telephone her from our home and she kept asking when they are going spend time alone........I found out about it and confronted him about......and let him hear the recording of his self......he told me he love me and would never do that again.......we got married a year later

"New Affair"
About six months ago my husband started getting weird calls that did not last long.......and his words was very short when he spoke with this person on his cell........so I started doing my search and checking again and found a few information............I found a number he had been dialing a lot so I telephone the number and a woman voice was on the answering service........I left her a message and she return my call..............we talk and she said no me and your husband his not having an affair..........she told me they had been friends for 7 years and she his co-worker from his job............my husband has been on temp-disability leave from work for almost 2 years................we have been together 6 years and married for 4 years........I have never met or heard of this women................I confronted my husband and he told me no............he said she help he through hard time when he affair with his ex-girlfriend....................now here comes the tricky part of this...........

One I never met her or heard of her before.
Two he only speak with her on his cell phone away from the house and not around me and the kid's
Three on the last cell phone bills there was a total of 125 calls between them.
Four he tells me she also his pray partner too because at work he and other co-workers set up a prayer time.
Five I've confronted him about this issue 4 times and he keeps telling no there is no affair.

Now one day she telephone him on his cell phone at 6 am to pray with him but I was awake sitting next to him..........(my husband is a associate minister)...............when I asked him who it was he told me he didn't know who it was....someone from the church calling to pray..........I later found out it was her............now one day she called and he was in the kitchen cooking.............he picked up his cell phone and told her he was at home.........and then the call ended.........................

Now my husband is in the process of starting his own business.................for helping our younger youth and she one of the members on the board...........I'm one of the members on the board too..................I feel like something is going on................I have asked him before to stop calling her and praying with her let one of the sister from the church prays with her, he told me he would........but I later found out that sister we agree to call and pray with her never got her number from my husband so he lied too me..............................so.................now I'm at the point I don't trust him or her...........I'm been having dream vision of my husband being unfaithful in this marriage..........and I believe my gut is telling me right and he and she are up to no good..............I'm at the point to use my old trick "type recorder" and see what I hear......................if all what I feel is true I'm divorcing my husband this time............no more chances.....

"any advice would be cool if not just read"

(sorry I was told to post this here because I posted it in the wrong area)

Thompson,

I so feel for you and the situation you are in. If you check my sig line below you will see that I have stood where you are right now, wondering if he is doing it again, wondering if our marriage would survive this, wondering if he was doing it at all.

I think your gut meter is shouting that you are probably right and that he and this woman are already in an emotional affair, if not a physical affair (and don't bet against that one). The secretive way he "protects" this relationship is way out of line for any man, even more so for an associate minister.

As a minister, your husband is in a precarious situation. I think the devil just salivates over breaking up Godly marriages and if he can bring down a priest, pastor or rabi, well, that's just downright juicy.

Because our pastor has seen so many pastors tempted by affairs and how destructive this is to a church body, he has a rule that he does not counsel women alone, ever. You would not team prayer partners with the opposite sex, either. It is just asking for trouble.

My advice to you is to go right to your senior pastor. Explain was happened in the past and what is happening now. Ask for his/her assistance in determining if there looks to be anything improper going on between your husband and this woman. And ask him to keep it confidential and between the two of you.

Put a key-logger on the computer (if you have one at home), install a tape recorder, whatever you have to do to get evidence either one way or another before you ask your husband again if he is having an affair. There's no point in asking without proof because he'll just deny it.

And lastly put yourself in God's hands to care for you and protect your family, and to give you strength if your hunches turn out to be true.

Hope this helps.

~ Snow

Thanks for your response snowbelle and your great adivce