Hi all - im new to the forum..
I didnt know where to go for help.

My wife and I have been married for about 2 years. I loved her christian additude and her kind heart and her attention to me - so we married after about a year of dating.

We now have a beautifull daughter.

Now for abour 6 months I have not wanted sex with her because her additude has gotten harsh kinda rude and the female area dont smell so well. She has gained about 60 pounds and is just unattractive to me any more.

I know I have my shortcommings too.

She dont even look attractive to me any more. So i dont even tell her she is pretty any more. I know that her feelings arent in good shape because of my lack of encouragement to her.

I still love her and dont want to give up on her. She is a great girl. She does anything I ask but im just not there when it comes to affection twards her.

This isnt a complete letter to the forum - im just trying to get a sence of direction...

O - im 35 and she is 24 if that means anything..

Hi ... sorry no one has responded yet..

about the smell, tell her that you recently noticed an odor and there might be a vaginal infection called BV which is totally treatable... have her call her GYN to get checked ... this is not usually an STD, but rather a common condition that any woman can get

also, ask her if she has plans to exercise, and offer to work out with her...

is she depressed?

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hello Chris,

Welcome to MB.

Just to get this question answered right off the bat: has there been any Infidelity in your marriage? You posted here on an Infidelity message board and although we have had a few stray newbies come here because they were advised to or didn't know where else to go,we can help better if we know the full story.

If there has been no cheating,then do focus on what YOU can do to help the situation right now.A common theme here is that you can't change other's,only yourself.I hear you saying that you are not attracted to your W and that is ok.For some people,physical attractiveness is important,especially if it's related to health issues.There is nothing wrong with being honest about your feelings but this should be dealt with in a very gentle way so you won't hurt your W's feelings.

As Pep said,there are common female vaginal odors that can indicate an infection and are easily treatable.BV can cause a "fishy" odor and is a classic sign noticed by the woman and/or her partner.

Encourage your W to see her doctor and mention that you will too.Perhaps you could both go for an annual check up and discuss with your doctor's an exercise program? Do you cook together? How about some changes on the menu: cooking can be fun and there are so many books you could peruse for healthy recipes that could make you both healthy and fit.Are you both getting out and exercising? Can you join a club or do a hobby that interests you both and burns calories( i.e. swimming,canoeing,walking,etc)?

If you still love your W Chris then do something about it.Maybe this isn't all about your W.Have you thought about counseling? Anything else going on for you? How old is your baby? Do you think that maybe since the new baby arrived you view your W differently? It is not that uncommon to have issues with your W after the birth of a child and it's not all that uncommon either for some women to gain weight after the breast feeding stage is over.Maybe you can talk about it.How is the parenting going?

Also,check out our MB book store.There are a lot of choices for how to keep the love alive and how to improve your marriage and to deal with problems.

O

Is your wife still nursing? I didn't lose my pregnancy weight -- a lot of it -- until after I stopped nursing. Then it dropped off like magic.

How old is your baby? Did childbirth change your feelings about your wife?