|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909 |
Four years ago I found MB.
For about two years MB became one of my life lines.
My marriage was recovered.
If you are new here, my heart goes out to you. And, my words of advice are:
1) Breathe. Take a step back from the situation. Be still. Never make any decisions in haste. (Believe me...)
2) Focus on you. The best thing I did in recovery was to just focus on me. I spent time in IC. (individual counseling) I read a bunch of books. It gave my H space.
3) Trust. That given enough time and space YOU will be able to make the BEST decisions for you and your family. My trust was in God. I have learned to lean heavily on Him.
I believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Our mended marriage has given us an openness and a trust with one another that we didn't have before. In the fall I was diagnosed w/ colon cancer, had surgery and have just finished 6 months of chemo. Our marriage prior to the affair probably wouldn't have survived the stress of the last nine months.
I know the affair seems like the worst possible thing that could happen to you. I know how devastated I was.
WAS.
Believe.
Cali
My Story
* Together 18 years, married 17
* d-day 4/25/01
* Recovery June 2002
* 3 boys (12, 10, & 7)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
Hooray ! Another story to stick on my metaphorical 'fridge door ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Congratulations to you on BOTH your recoveries !
MB Alumni
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Dear Cali, Good to hear from you and know your experience is just what many need to hear. If they only knew all the drama you and your family were subjected to during those trialsome years. BTW, how are you doing? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Aloha, L.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015 |
(((((Cali)))))
Good to see you Cali! It IS amazing to be where you are today when I'm sure it looked "impossible" at the beginning.
God IS faithful to all of His promises to those who love Him and keep His commands.
I am sorry to hear about the cancer and thrilled that it seems to have been caught in time. My prayers that all will continue well for you and thankfulness that you already have God in your life, now and forevermore.
God bless!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,661
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,661 |
((((((Cali))))))
It's so good to see you! I'm glad you and your marriage are doing well. How are your kids?
Thank you for posting your story of hope for these folks! I too, remember when your H was thick in the "fog". Your words of advice are so true, and critical to recovery (personal and marital). They are difficult to embrace when going through this pain, aren't they? I remember... but the sooner these concepts can be the focus, the better.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hugs,
Faith1
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Hi Cali <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I've missed you girl ! Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Hi Cali. Very good to hear that you're well.
WAT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
good tidings to you cali..
hope you are feeling strong...
and doing well
ark
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 3,073
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 3,073 |
Hi Cali! Blessings to you and your family and prayers for your continued healing. Thank you for giving us an update hon. Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515 |
It's so good to hear from you, even though you continue to have trials. Wishing you well, as have so many before me. Hope the family are well and happy.
SS
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 953
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 953 |
Cali
A great story...I am sure that others are inspired as I am.
H
ME WS
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909 |
Wow!!!
So good to see all of you!
I have had posting trouble... so I couldn't reply until now.
Hi! Pep, Susan, WAT, Orchid, Faith1, ForeverHers, ark^^, still seeking! My old friends... so good to see you...
WE are doing very well!
The whole cancer thing has been an amazing journey... so many blessings. I have a PET scan next week and will find out if I am 'in remission' and cancer-free.
Love,
*Cali*
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
Hey Cali!
I burned my CACA card recently! (Conflict Avoiders of California)
Good 2 hear things are going well for you.
best,
-ol' 2long
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 846
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 846 |
|
|
|
|
1 members (MigelGrossy),
412
guests, and
99
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,039
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
