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Joined: Jul 2001
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Four years ago I found MB.
For about two years MB became one of my life lines.
My marriage was recovered.
If you are new here, my heart goes out to you. And, my words of advice are:
1) Breathe. Take a step back from the situation. Be still. Never make any decisions in haste. (Believe me...)
2) Focus on you. The best thing I did in recovery was to just focus on me. I spent time in IC. (individual counseling) I read a bunch of books. It gave my H space.
3) Trust. That given enough time and space YOU will be able to make the BEST decisions for you and your family. My trust was in God. I have learned to lean heavily on Him.
I believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Our mended marriage has given us an openness and a trust with one another that we didn't have before. In the fall I was diagnosed w/ colon cancer, had surgery and have just finished 6 months of chemo. Our marriage prior to the affair probably wouldn't have survived the stress of the last nine months.
I know the affair seems like the worst possible thing that could happen to you. I know how devastated I was.
WAS.
Believe.
Cali
My Story
* Together 18 years, married 17
* d-day 4/25/01
* Recovery June 2002
* 3 boys (12, 10, & 7)
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Hooray ! Another story to stick on my metaphorical 'fridge door ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Congratulations to you on BOTH your recoveries !
MB Alumni
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Dear Cali, Good to hear from you and know your experience is just what many need to hear. If they only knew all the drama you and your family were subjected to during those trialsome years. BTW, how are you doing? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Aloha, L.
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Joined: May 2002
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(((((Cali)))))
Good to see you Cali! It IS amazing to be where you are today when I'm sure it looked "impossible" at the beginning.
God IS faithful to all of His promises to those who love Him and keep His commands.
I am sorry to hear about the cancer and thrilled that it seems to have been caught in time. My prayers that all will continue well for you and thankfulness that you already have God in your life, now and forevermore.
God bless!
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Joined: Jul 2001
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((((((Cali))))))
It's so good to see you! I'm glad you and your marriage are doing well. How are your kids?
Thank you for posting your story of hope for these folks! I too, remember when your H was thick in the "fog". Your words of advice are so true, and critical to recovery (personal and marital). They are difficult to embrace when going through this pain, aren't they? I remember... but the sooner these concepts can be the focus, the better.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hugs,
Faith1
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Joined: Oct 2000
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Hi Cali <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I've missed you girl ! Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Hi Cali. Very good to hear that you're well.
WAT
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Joined: Sep 2001
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good tidings to you cali..
hope you are feeling strong...
and doing well
ark
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Joined: Dec 1969
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Hi Cali! Blessings to you and your family and prayers for your continued healing. Thank you for giving us an update hon. Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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Joined: May 2002
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It's so good to hear from you, even though you continue to have trials. Wishing you well, as have so many before me. Hope the family are well and happy.
SS
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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Cali
A great story...I am sure that others are inspired as I am.
H
ME WS
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Wow!!!
So good to see all of you!
I have had posting trouble... so I couldn't reply until now.
Hi! Pep, Susan, WAT, Orchid, Faith1, ForeverHers, ark^^, still seeking! My old friends... so good to see you...
WE are doing very well!
The whole cancer thing has been an amazing journey... so many blessings. I have a PET scan next week and will find out if I am 'in remission' and cancer-free.
Love,
*Cali*
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Joined: Feb 2002
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Hey Cali!
I burned my CACA card recently! (Conflict Avoiders of California)
Good 2 hear things are going well for you.
best,
-ol' 2long
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