Whats the concensus on exchanging phone numbers?
Should a man ask for a womans number?
Should a man give a women his number?
and vice versa...

I was discussing this with collegue who is also single. She's a little older than me -- enough to be my much older sister, not quite enough to be my mom.

I told her about a guy I met. We hit it off. At the end of our conversation, he told me he would love to get to know me better and gave me his card with his number on it

I LOVED this approach. I really appreciated being able to keep my privacy...having the control of whether or not to call...not having the anxiety of whether or not he would call...etc. I also hate it when a man asks for my number when I would rather not give it to him. Its a very awkward situation. With this situation, I knew he wanted to hear from me, and it was all up to me. I liked it.

HOWEVER, my collegue was shocked by it. Thought it was very inappropriate and improper.

Is this an age thing?

I always give my number...always.

I never ask for her's, I think it gives some sort of comfort to give mine instead of asking for a woman's.

Out of the 20-30 times so far I've given my number out I've only had about 6 that didn't call me.

So, while I see my friends getting knocked down time after time asking for numbers, I keep a pretty full social life.


RebornMan

I really like when the man gives me his number. Since I am new at this dating thing, it allows me to go home and think about him. Some men I don't want to call back and I am relieved that I won't have them calling me.

Another male weighing in, I do the same, give mine out, and the woman can call or not, or give me hers if she wants...no pressure. Not as well travelled as reborn, but the 1/2 dozen or so times lately, all have called me, or given theirs and asked me to call them.

I don't know how a woman should respond if asked (cause I don't ask that quickly), especially if she doesn't feel comfortable....I can only suggest have a good reply in mind, and practice it, that will make you feel safe and confident. I have heard too, for those who are fully active and seeking new companions, there are phone services now that allow you to change the number easily, so a 2nd "dating" (with vm, that way you never have to answer) phone may be the solution.

And ladies, if you do call a guy, but don't want him to have your number, *67 before you dial the number hides your phone number from someone who has caller id.

T
(Former Phone Guy)

Geeez you all,

I have been divorced for 1.5 years and I have yet for a guy to ask me for my number.

How does this happen?
Grocery stores? Church? I don't go to bars too much.
What am I missing??

K.

Karona,

I see potential mates everywhere, I don't frequent bars to often maybe once twice a month to play darts.

I've given my number out at the gym, the pool, in line for gas (long story), church, if I strike up a conversation with somebody and they seem interested I'll ask if they'd like my number and we can chat. I don't know it seems to work.

I'm trying to get out with as many different types as possible right now, I only had 4 GF's the last 19 years and I have a lot of sampling to do. 4 long term relationships 13 years, 3 years, 2 years and a year so I have some catching up to do.

I am trying to go out with women I wouldn't have gone out with in the past, maybe I missed something? When I look at pictures of my WWXW and the other 3 it is remarkable how similar they are, not looks wise but body wise..5'9-5'11' blonde, blue eyes, 115-120lbs., long and thin so I have purposely avoided that type this time around.

So I've gone out with shorter, taller, heavier (not lighter..lol), black, white, indian, brunettes, redheads....Not one tall, thin, blue eyed blonde in the bunch.

Why Not? You never know?

Sorry for going off on a tangent Karona....I have a question though, are you sending out the "Not me back away buddy" signal? Some people do it without even realizing it with their body language.

RebornMan

Ok I am with Karona on this one. I've talked with a few guys but not one has offered me his number or asked for mine. I am at all kinds of different places, sometimes with my daughter (14) sometimes with friends, bars, church, bowling alley, gas stations. Nothing!!!!

And then i wonder if I am putting out a "don't touch signal" or something.

I don't want a relationship I just want a date. I think that maybe there is a reason that I am to wait.

Anyways................I like the idea of guys giving their # out instead of guys asking for the #.

Dawn:)

The advice that a couple of the online dating sites give out is that it is better for the guys to give their number out first. That way if/when the lady feels comfortable she can call...and then give out her number. I even had one guy tell me that it wouldn't bother him if I called anominously (*67 in TX), which I took him up on. I'm really glad I did, because the guy turned out to be a wacko!!!
KK

Like a couple others on here, I've been alone (and without my wedding ring) for 1.5 years now, and have been DV (and officially available) for 6 months.

People tell me all the time "You're young--someday soon the right man will come along when you least expect it".

Yet I've had not one offer, not even the hint of an offer to date. I go to grocery stores, gas stations, church (where there was a guy who was widowed about the same time I was DVing, and he just remarried last Saturday), work, etc. Nuthin! It would be so nice to just have a guy to go to dinner with. It's been a long time since I've had a sit-down meal with someone other than my children in a nice restaurant.

But if some guy ever did come along, and he offered his number to me, I'd take it as a compliment and not be offended or think it was wrong. I think I'd rather have a guy give me his number than have to give mine out right at first.

Karona, Daybreak, Lordslady --
I'd guess you're putting out a "vibe" so to speak.

Lets say you're standing in line at the coffee shop in the morning. If someone looks at you, how do you react?
Do you look away? Or otherwise shut them out? Next time start a conversation!

I decided that my motto for 2005 is "make new friends." So I'm rather bold.

When I was happily married and also when I was on the roller coaster ride- I never made eye contact - I always looked away. If I was out (bar) I'd typically only start a conversation w/a man that I viewed as "safe"..being a way older man or way younger man that just wanted someone to chit chat too.

NOW...Even though I am still M - I no longer wear my WR since WH took his off and I'll talk to anyone..even ones that I know could be trouble..I don't care anymore..

I have received 6 phone numbers in the past 2 months..and I've not called any of them..Sorry guys...My marital status was not a part of the conversation..nor was theirs.

It was a great boost to my ego since I was so beat down from all this - but, there is NO WAY I can get involved or go further. I'm still M..One man did call me (though I only told him where I worked) and believe me it caused a major issue w/my WH..Someday, I'll post about that one..
He now knows I'm M and sometimes he still calls but he's definately not my type and I never call him. I think he just likes to boost his own ego by calling a younger woman - whatever..

I do think you have to give the signals that your outgoing, friendly, etc. If a conversation starts keep it going, pick up a few books on flirting, etc. most of us girls have forgotten how to flirt...How to lead them into our web...If there are a few people in the conversation keep them engaged but don't single them out..Keep it light - it's more intriging to men that way..I know I need a refresher course...LOL and it's coming..once I file those papers..Maybe, my WH can teach the ropes..LOL

Here is a link to a book that may be helpful. Dr Cloud is an accomplished psychologist an expert on dating, and a dating coach. He believes dating is a behavioral skill that can be learned, and gaurantees success. He explains and offers suggestions about dating principles much like Dr. Harley does about marriage. Dr. Cloud also is a couples/marriage counsellor, but he seems to enjoy helping people mature internally, and find successful relationships. I read the book, and picked up some valuable insight, one such was that we often approach dating with too high expectations, thinking we have to discern right off the bat we would marry them. He points out you don't date to marry (although you will end up their eventually), you date to have fun, discover who you are, and find out what works (or not) for you in a potential life partner, so you can choose wisely. It is only important to figure out (maybe moreso for women) that a potential date is not dangerous. If you get bad vibes in this regard, move on, otherwise go for it.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/det...=books&st=*