I would contact Y-guys wife and see if he has "plans" for that night too.

Good idear, believer!

I've thought about that, but I don't know if she wants to talk to me after the job thing...

Hi Gramn - You are up late tonight. I would still try to contact Y-guy's wife. By the way, did you get your divorce papers yet?

No papers yet. Not that I want them, but they are sure taking their time about it.

Hmmm. Well, they may not be coming. Hope you can get some sleep tonight.

As usual, I did't get nearly enough sleep. Sure I layed in bed, but that didn't do much good.

Gramn -

I remember the long lonely sleepless nights. I went around like a zombie for months. It is completely miserable.

I think what helped me most was detaching. I decided that I was going to take care of myself and be fine, whether WH came back or didn't. He didn't. But I am doing fine now.

You will get there too.

Well, I just called her... I am really paranoid about this "What if they get back together?" stuff.

She is back at the Y this morning. (as a guest) Why exactly did she quit? I thought that she didn't want to be seen around there? Maybe she thought he'd get his job back if she stayed away.

Apparently YGuy is still out of a job. (Which she sobbed to me) So, apparently he didn't get it back.

So, I didn't find out much, but at least I know that.

Well maybe she will invite you out to lunch to yell at you or sob to you about Y-guy. See, there's always something to look forward to.

Ah, my old friend sarcasm...

I'm sorry to say again...

Assume that they are still in contact, at least by phone, unless you have proof to the contrary....

Straight out of the mouth of Steve Harley....

Allows you to maintain a sense of power and to be proactive....

Again, just trying to discourage you from making the same mistakes I did....

She seems pretty bitter today. I tried to talk to her about the job thing, but she was in a hurry to get off the phone.

She mainly called to see if I'd been served yet, and I haven't. She was annoyed...

((((Gramm))))

Two quick observations:

1. When you get served it's going to hurt. When you read all the crazy stuff in there, it's going to hurt. Be prepared for that. Have a friend on stand-by.

2. Misery loves company. Why do you think she's so anxious for you to get served? I happen to think that in her fogged out mind she sees it as revenge for you screwing up her little love nest. She wants to hear your pain and quite frankly hurt you. Don't give her that satisfaction. If she asks about it, simply say, my lawyer is working on a response and leave it at that......

Have you told her yet that you won't agree to a divorce? It sounds like she's expecting you to go along with this without any issue...which I'm assuming you're not?

She knows I don't want it. That was why I made her file it and do everything. I'll respond, and I'm as ready as I can be, but she had to be the one to start it.

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As for the filing "hurting", I guess the actual fact of it will hurt, but she already has told me about what she is seeking, so I dont expect that to be much of a surprise.

I just got the papers....
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OK, she says that she is planning to sign for this apartment today and wants me to feel guilty for not moving out.

She says "I'd like to stay in our house with Daughter, but you won't move out so I have to do this!"

She estimates that the place will cost her $630 per mo, which I know is way more than she can afford.

How are YOU doing, Gramn?

Hang in there. Prayers offered up for you right now.

slh

I'm doing pretty crappy, but hanging in there.

Most if this document is exactly what I expected, but listen to this part under "Parental Rights & Responisibities"

... An award of custody is necessary because Plaintiff has temporarilly removed herself from the marital residence and intends to establish a permanant independant residence in the immediate future. She has secured employment as a part time teacher beginning in Aug. that will assist her to be able to afford her independant living expenses. The relationship between the parties in the residence is extremely tense, volitile and emotionally unhealthy for the parties and the child. In an express effort to emotionally blackmail Plaintiff, Defendant has very publically caused teh termination of Plaintiff's paramour from his employment and actively attempted to alienate the support of Plaintiff's friends & family"

Wow, that is amazing that it actually is admitting an affair in those papers. I guess if you are in a no fault state that won't matter. I can't see how that makes it any better for her to get any more custody than you. Should be interesting to hear what your lawyer has to say about that.

It the court supposed to feel badly about you messing with the OM's loss of job because of his choice to have an A with your W? Weird. Do they have alienation of affection in your state. If so, I would consider filing against OM. I can't see where you are at fault at all.

Any volatility in your house is due to her attitude anyway.