You did well. Remember, my deal took the same turn also. Did she take daughter's stuff?

In His arms.

She hasn't taken any of daughter's stuff yet.
She took some of our daughter's books, which she says are her own children's book collection. That is not a big deal. She also plans to get a bed for the girl from a friend.

Gramn - you are standing strong. An inspiration to me.

Peace, strength and grace to you. I have just prayed for that for you.

far

Great. That way your daughter's room can stay intact.

Gramn, I know this all has to be depressing. My wife moved out twice. Watching all of our stuff leave just seemed so...final! But it isnt. It is just a part of the war. You have to remember that.

In His arms.

Gramn, it sounds like you did and are doing absolutely wonderful! I am so pleased with the way you handled this -- with dignity and compassion and love. Ww will remember this as the fog lifts and she begins to see the OM for what he really is -- a User.

Continue to be there for her if she is receptive. You're reminding her what a great guy you are and how you're sticking with her through all of this mire. OM's faults will be becoming more and more obvious to WW now and as time goes on, and your Stability is something she will desperately need and begin to depend on.

You ARE fulfilling her needs! Moreso than loser OM! Just remember that.

You're doing just great, Gramn! Don't look back; keep up the good work!!

StillLovingHim

I know that I'm here trying to fill EN and all that, but it seems more like I'm getting walked over...

On another topic...
I got Wife to tell me more about how YGuy was fired perminantly. The board interviewed some of his former employees and they all had various grevances against him... Interesting...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

wow ....

Today wife was accusing me of deleting her emails from Y Guy! I tried to reassure her that I hadn't deleted anything (which is true!) Of course, i had been thinking that they were possibly back in touch, so her paranoid accusation puts my mind at ease about that...

That is great news, Gramn. So hopefully she is in withdrawal, and this may be over very soon. Hang in there.

Gramm,

""Today wife was accusing me of deleting her emails from Y Guy!""

Your W is TOO MUCH!! Actually would be funny in a different context.

Did you say, "Goodness dear, I didn't know you two were still in contact!"

And yes, it does let you know about their contact, doesn't it?

So I guess she doesn't have a computer at her fashionable apartment? So she has to come to your house to check her emails?

Also, what happened to the good job she was interviewing for?..or did I miss that one.

k

Gramn-

I know it feels like you're being walked all over, and I want to tell you this, I hope it helps.

Your WW is now being clingy, and needy and whiny with OM, when he's already stressed out over losing his job and his wife finding out about the A.....she's SMOTHERING him, he is trying to *nicely* get rid of her, but she isn't cooperating, he's gonna get NOT NICE with her in the very near future. He can't handle all this neediness from her....he was looking for fun, now he's got more irons in the fire than he can handle.

I think this affair is only alive in her mind now.....and being alone in that apartment at night, with no OM......no You, plenty of time to start eating that *WRONG* sandwich Mortar was telling you about.

-Caren

with ketchup, mayo and a pickle.

It's strange... Last night I spent about an hour trying to comfort Wife (as i went to her Apartment to pick up Daughter for the night) She was crying and sad and angry (at him). I tried a new tactic. Rather than say that he is a loser or whatever, i just listened and she had lots of bad things to say about him, but not much to say about me. She still says that she is hoping that he'll show up and apologise or soemthing, but I think this is dying.

When I left, I invited Wife to come to the park with daughter and I, but she declined...
-----------------------------------------------------
In other news, I read over and filed my response filing from my lawyer. This guy did a great job:

• He contested wife's "incompatability" claim saying that we ARE compatible and that she had been engaged in an affair.
• He claimed that she abandoned me and our marriage by moving out of the house.
• He did some calculating and got her lawyer's temporary child support estimate lowered by about $100 per month.
• He asked that she be responsible to pay for the credit cards that are in her name (during this temporary period)
• He documented that I spend the evenings with my daughter every day.

Good job, Gramn. You will do much better just to listen and NOT insult OM to your WW. It just pushes her further away. Inviting her to join you and DD was a very good idea and something you should continue to do.

Exposure, exposure, exposure. That is what did this!! Isnt it great? Melodylane would be proud of you, as she is the exposure queen on here! I know you have heard this Gramn, but your wife continues to follow the textbook, word for word. Not even one deviation. She is the standard case.

And you sir, are doing brilliantly. Much better and much faster then the rest of us blockheads, who had to take 2, 3, 4, 8000 tries to get it right. You are fighting this battle perfectly!

Brilliant. My attorney did the same...said the marriage wasnt over with. Actually, I said the same thing in court. My wife's attorney was surprised by that. She even asked "You still think that you want to save this marriage?" Of course, I said yes. The judge was impressed.

Good!

Good.

Good.

Excellent. This is where your journal will come in handy also. Not only what you did when you two were together (even though she was a SAHM, you did contribute as the breadwinner, and were there for your daughter and her when not at work). You must continue to show that you are the stable one, that you can provide financially as well as emotionally, for your daughter...and be better at it than your wife. It is called consistency. And your wife, as your attorney has outlined, has not been very consistent has she?

So document all of your time with her. What you do together, etc. Make sure YOU set up her periodic appointments (doctor, dentist, etc). Make sure YOU take her to church with you. Document everything. For the custody hearing, my attorney had subpoened the sign in/sign out records at the afternoon daycare that my kids had gone to. We went thru a whole year, the last year we all lived in the same house. We sat down one Sunday and counted the number of times I picked the kids up, the number of times she did, and others. The count was MM 115, Mrs. MM 63, and two others were my mother and a friend of my wife and I. As you can see, and the judge could see just in this one instance, that it was me there for the kids almost everyday. Shoot, even the days she picked up, I was home. She just decided that she would pick them up that day. I could have picked them up everyday almost. This is the kind of documentation you need. Journaling. She wont have that. You will. It will be her talking about the vague things she does or has done. It will be you with a record of daily accounts and activities. A HUGE difference!!

This is good, Gramn. Keep on keeping on.

In His arms.

YAAAAAAAAY, Gramn!!!!!!

Wife got the response filing today. She was REALLY upset that I wanted to contest the divorce...


Huh...

To be expected.

The fogeth ist thickith

In a (non-humorous) joking way, Wife says to me "You and YGuy are conspiring against me to make my life miserable and kill me!"

So I reply in a nice voice, "I don't want you to be miserable..."