"All the crap about honor, though, is for you military guys out there, yada, yadda, yadda.."

This was a red flag for me. We at least know that one poster here has no honor, and furthermore, has no use for honor.

Monitored by whom? Your wife? Former-Y-Guy?? I dont think that you have posted here anything that your wife doesnt already know Gramn.

So, what's up?

In His arms.

Gramm, if ya wanna go underground, I'm sure there are several of us that would do an e-mail chain....

I'm always available at wbill70@yahoo.com that is a SAFE e-mail. If you e-mail me, I'll e-mail you back through my normal one that has my company name on it.....

And the same here. You have my email and phone number Gramn. If you feel that writing here might compromise something, then try emailing or calling me or others here.

In His arms.

Post deleted by Gramn

Email me, Gramn. We can see if the things you are talking about here are something not to post.

You jsut tried to call me. My cell has a hard time working in the building I am in. So, email me and I will correspond with yo uthat way until I get off work at 3:30pm EST.

In His arms.

Well, i emailed with her back and fourth a few times. It seems like she is at least willing to keep me updated about what is going on...

Keep it up. The sorms still brewing. You have to keep a steady hand on the wheel, steady as she goes. You are doing well.

In His arms.

We talked on the phone some tonight. (Behind her parents back...)

Here is part of an email I got from her this morning...

..."Life's a ****** right now. Please forgive me for what I've caused you, when I get back we will work on rebuilding ourselves as individuals, as strong and independent people, and as parents, and who knows what the future will bring. I'm not saying anything for sure, just that I guess anything's possible."

I guess that is a little encouraging.

actually this is still foggy.... personal rebuilding FOR YOU has already begun. She could choose to begin rebuilding herself at any moment ... deciding that she might build something in the future ... is fog again. Just less dense.

"Please forgive me for what I've caused you." is actually pretty interesting. Not only does it imply that she has been the source of something needing forgiving ... but she also indicates she sees YOU as a man who is capable of forgivng. This is, indeed, a high compliment. It is much worse to hear, "I know you can never get past this."

So, yes .... some less dense fog.

Gramn:

Sure, there's still fog you're going 2 have 2 deal with, and it's true that you each have 2 be healthy individuals anyway, for recovery 2 begin.

BUT... ...this is a big step she's taking in her thinking. Don't get your hopes up needlessly, but be prepared for any even2ality at this point.

I think this is cool news.

-ol' 2long

Pep and 2Long are right. The Fog still exists. But I also agree with 2Long that this is a tiny step forward.

Her conversations are changing. A bit of light is beginning to seep in. This is good. A very good sign.

But, as usual, we have to put the little yellow sticker on there with the warning "...if an erection persists for more than 4 hours..."

Oooppps, wrong warning! Seriously though, you stay steady. Dont hang on one conversation, or one event. It is like the stock market. If you hang on to the day to day, it'll drive you crazy. The stocks go up and down everyday. But what you want to see is the trend...that the trend is heading upward.

And so far, it appears that thins continue to move in a positive direction.

Patience, Gramn. This is a good sign. Now, keep fighting.

In His arms.

GRAHM,
first I want to apologize for the TJ the other night, it was thoughtless of me and i sincerely apologize.
Back OT; You are doing a heroic job of trying to save your marriage, and it is not going unoticed by anyone here, but more importantly, your WW.
She sees the tremondous efforts you are makeing and is clearly beginning to soften her heart in the statements and emails she has sent you.
You are being guided here by the best of the best,(does not include me obviously), and you have to stop now and then and consider, where would I be If I had not had this mentoring? You had already lost your wife to another man and all was heading for D, but you have turned all of this around and have left an opening for your WW to return to her M and reconsile. You are fighting the good fight, and even if all somehow remains lost forever, YOU are the one who can look himself in the mirror in the morning and say, " I have done all that I could possibly do to save my Marriage."
You must be exhausted at this stage of your war, but hang tough, the conclusion is not over and everyone here still has their money on YOU!
All Blessings,
Jerry

Thanks Shiningthrough... No nead to appologise either. It's no big deal.

Whether I get my marriage fixed or not, at least I'm giving it my best shot.

There are still discouraging signs, but I guess it's still not over yet.

1. She says my "behavior" has prevented her relatives and friends from encouraging her to fix her marriage
2. WW had agreed to go out with me once she gets back. I said, "Lets go out Friday night"... She was all hesitant and said "What if we meet for lunch"...
3. Today I tell her that I've been thinking about goals and plans for the future. "If they are your goals and plans then why would you want to discuss them with me? shouldn;t you be the one to decide?"

Sorry to complain, but comments like this are frustrating...

Fog! All WSs say this stuff. Ignore it.

In His arms.

WW and I had an IM discussion on the computer last night.

She was back to accusing me of being "evil" and sabotaging her chance for happiness...

She was even upset that I'd contacted OMW to tell her about the recent contact when WW asked that I do it! Does that make any sense??

I told her that I can tell what terms she is on with YGuy, by the way she treats me. WW is all angry and beligerant to me when she is in contact with him. When he is ignoring her or being a jerk, she is nice to me and all "sorry" for all of this...

After his break-up email to her a week or two ago, they have apparently been emailing again, but somehow those emails have been unhelpful too.
I think she plans to meet with him and try to get her questions answered once she is back in town. Answers to why he made her promises that he didn't keep. Of course, if she does meet with him again, no good can come of it and she will not get any answers...

Hm...

I usually don't like 2 further useless speculation, but did this possible contact coincide with vervie's posts here?

Try not 2 get all a'flutter over it, though. I think you're doing fine. It's the APs who're struggling here.

-ol' 2long

I dont see any correlation between this and those Verviene posts. They may have been about the same time,and may even have been the same person, but I dont see any direct link...

Gramn:

Your WW continues to follow the standard script for cake-eaters.

My FWH and FOW had several breakups and reunions. These were passionate/ecstatic events. Heard of the song...BREAKUP TO MAKEUP?

You said:



The plans for this meeting do not just involve talking...

Sorry, Gramn...it's looking like PLAN B to get this over and done with....