How about using DD (for darling daughter or dear daughter) instead of 'the girl'. I know you changed to 'the girl' because people were bugged by 'the baby' for a two your old...but 'the girl' sounds weird to me (the baby was better....DD is pretty simple too.

I don't know maybe it is just me...

I have a DD and I don't think I've ever said 'the girl' when referring to my daughter. She's my daughter....My son(s) = my son...on the forum ..DS or DS1 and DS2...

After I wrote that I thought "girl" seemed strange too...

I just think DD seems awkward somehow....

I hope you did this by email so you can document your attempted reasonableness and her unreasonable response. Remember, the Judge will want to place the child with the parent demonstrating they have the best interests of the child at heart. The Judge will also be annoyed at her for wasting his time when you were willing to compromise.

If you did it orally, then try again by email with a written rephrase of the previous attempt to compromise. (i.e.- I know on Tuesday you said you didn't want to compromise but I'd like to try again. We are two adults that can figure this out without the courts assistance (don't say interference), the judge is not her parent...we are...so tell me what you want and let's see if we can work together to accomodate both our wishes and DD.)

Regardless, her playing games with a temporary order is just foolish and will not please the judge.

Good luck - Gramn - we are all watching and praying for you.

Mr. Wondering

(We are referred to as BS...now that can be thought of a a bit awkward too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> )

How about just D? or DTR?

Mr. Wonderings has a great point!!

In His arms.

Wondering-I checked my records and found an email conversation documenting her lack of willingness to compromise.

I'm not sure how much I should worry about this temporary hearing thing, but it's annoying in any case.

Such email shouldn't be used at the temporary hearing. It may become part of your attorney's brief when arguing later at the actual custody hearing. You don't want her to stop documenting unreasonableness until after the actual custody battle is done. Then it won't matter.

Mr. Wondering

Be as reasonable as possible at the next hearing regarding the temp order. It's a chance for you to stroke the Judge. Its just a temp order the true battle comes later.

Your response to her demands for adjusting the temp order.

"Your honor, of course I'd like as much time with my daughter as possible during this difficult period. I disagree with her amending the temporary order and, in fact, request this court grant me additional time on the weekends when I have more availability. (Gramn - the Judge may just punish her stupidity in fighting a temporary order and give you more plus it demonstrates your willingness to take on more resposibility) I have attempted numerous times to be reasonable and make adjustments to the scheduling on our own; however, Mrs. Gramn refuses to even communicate her desires (Gramm- like I said earlier...although you've got the email to back this up - don't use it unless she denies your statement i.e. - then you can prove her a liar/perjurer to the court and you get anything you want from the judge till your daughter is 18.) As a devoted father it troubles me to say this but I respectfully look to you today to determine what you believe to be in the best interests of my daughter. Thank you."

Although I'm an attorney - Tax not family law - Thus, I've never been to or involved in a custody hearing. Mortmarman or others are free to amend/revise this statement based on their experiences. Then bring the statement to your attorney as your strategy - hopefully, he/she will appreciate it and take it into consideration. It's better than just winging it as most attorney's do.

Good luck. Mr. Wondering

Mr. Wondering is tracking here. I would nto worry about the temporary hearing. The judge already ruled. Nothing has changed in your situation to warrant her trying to have the judge change his first ruling. So, basically, your wife is questioning the judge's judgment. Judges do not like that!!

So, dont worry about this. But do what Mr. Wondering has been saying and keep gathering more and more instances of her being disagreeable. One time wont be enough. Keep showing thru those emails (and your journal) that you are the one fostering a good atmosphere for your daughter, as your wife just continues to complain.

In His arms.

I sent that conversation to my lawyer. He thought it might be useful.

I'm more worried about this as a precident. Why is she so hard to talk to? COming up with an arrangment like this should be simple...

Gramn,

She is this way because she is in an affair that is falling apart. She is trying to grab ahold of anything, be in control of anything. So, she will even be petty...ESPECIALLY to you!! This is part of the package right now.

Dr. Hobson calls her the "New Woman" in his book "Love Must Be Tough." Go read that book, especially the chapter on the new woman...and tell me if that isnt your wife.

Hang tough. She has not waivered one bit from the WS Handbook.

In His arms.

Well, she called me a few times today and we talked.

Later, apparently she got a call from YGuy and layed into him for jerking her around. Something like "I changed around my whole life for you and you backed out?!" He was pissed at her for her attitude...

He wouldn't answer any of her questions. He wanted to do that in person. She thinks that he is just going to give her an in person break up. I asked "why can't he just say what he's got to say over the phone? I think that any meeting is full of crap.

Then, she calls me to tell me about this conversation... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

And wants to talk more in the morning...

Strange Days...

And yet you still stand there as her confidant, her beacon in the night, her best friend.

You're being a strong husband. Keep up hope. We're all pulling for you.

Mr. Wondering

Well, I'm trying.

Today I called her to figure out how she wants to pay for our rampant cell phone bill. (She went about 400 over the budget.)

First, she was angry because I didn't set up something with one of my friends to move a bookshelf from the house to her apartment. It's her apartment, why would I want to set it up?

second,

She was totally unhelpful with this cell phone problem. She was not willing to help pay for this huge bill, and said that I probably wanted to get the phones shut off. What crap...

I presume you intend to shut off her phone. I know it's a way you can monitor for contact but you're going to Plan B soon anyway. Go online and check how much she's racked up since your last bill. Cell phone companies love to delay the statement date to the date you get your bill for reason like this (and to keep us in the habit of talking, talking, talking).

If you she has to have one (for contact regarding daughter) consider a prepaid phone.

On the upside, consciously or unconsciously she knew what she was doing racking up that bill. Maybe it's expressing a little conflict with you. An "I'll show him". At least she's in conflict with you opposed to being in withdrawal. She fighting with YOU about alot more these days. When Plan B hits at least she'll care. Plan A is having it's desired effect.

Mr. WWWondering

Might be time to shut them off, Gramn. Actually, I would wait until Plan B. But, if she wants to be on her own, she has to pay for EVERYTHING!! No help from you.

If she needs a cell, she can go to the local convenience store and buy a prepaid one. And then stay off the phone so much with the OM so she doesnt spend so much money.

Again, I would wait a little longer before shutting things off. You are under no obligation to pay for that phone while she is not being your wife, though. So, just tell her you expect her to pay her part of the bill. And leave it at that. In a week or two, you can shut it off as you go to Plan B.

On the OM and your wife talking, you need to call or email OMW and let her know they are still talking and plan on meeting. Dont wait, as we thought before. It sounds like he is just stringing your wife along, so it is best to shut this off before something gets started. So, let OMW know that he has been in touch and that he wants to meet with your wife. Do that today.

Remember, as you have found out before...exposure is ALWAYS good!

In His arms.

I talked to WW again and she wants to get off of our joint phone plan and get her own phone. I guess that is OK. I don't know if she can afford it, but as long as I'm not...

I talked to OMW about this proposed meeting too...

You must be freaking kidding me? You are paying for her to CALL HER "PARAMOUR??" Gramm. Cut off the phone. Let her pay for it herself. Let her pay for everything since she wants to be single. Cut the phone off!!

oh. NEVER MIND! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Sounds like ya have it under control!