<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Good for you! This is the kind of stuff you need to make sure you get. I would carry around at times where I could not avoid being in the same room with her...a voice activated recorder in my pocket. That way, I didnt just have the journal entry...I also had her on tape. But the journal will be good for now. No judge likes a parent bad mouthing the other parent!


Just liek I said...you look at her like that picture of a dog looking at a TV screen with his head cocked. You know the one...with the blank "duh" look on its face! Good job on that!


Much better Gramn. You are getting the hang of it.

In His arms.

Had a pretty good weekend.

I screwed up this morning though.
I answered WW when she called on my phone to tell her that DD and I were on the way. I was running late for work and didn't have time to write WW a note saying that DD needed cough medicine.
Well, that was a mistake. WW said "If she is sick you shouldnt' have taken her swimming". I hung up on that. But, I'm mad at myself for talking at all, not her.

Hi Gramn

Found these words on the thought they might help you with your plan B focus.

Life is full of surprises. Love comes when you least expect it. When you shift your focus from pursuing potential partners, and channel your energy into making yourself and your life more fun, you become an attractive force! Remember, if you don't think that you are fantastic, why should anyone else?

Also, as a ex competitive swimmer, going swimming is actually quite good for you if you have a cold, as long as you don't over do it, it helps to clear the nose which as you know little children have problems doing!

Gramm,

""she said something like "I'm sorry that Daddy hates me" which really annoyed me.""

That is SSOOOO NOT COOL to say that to your daughter. If she is saying that to her in front of you, what might she be saying to her when they are alone.

How old is your daughter again? (sorry, can't remember)

The child is suffering and confused enough, without her goofy mother using her as a sounding board for her rationalizations and vents.

Could a third party, like her mother, talk to her about this? It is uncalled for and borders on child abuse. Her immaturity shining through. IMHO

k

NZGirl: I know the swimminghad nothing to do with her being sick. I coudl have gone off on her about that, but seeing as I'm trying to do "Plan B" shutting off the phone was a far better idea.


Daughter is 2 1/2. I think WW was just saying that for my benefit, but it is still very inappropriate.

Yesterday WW asked if I could watch DD on friday night.
I told her that I'd get back to her.

--Now, you all know that I like spending time w our daughter. BUT this is NOT supposed to be my weekend with her. I dont have any significant Friday Night plans yet, but maybe I will!

It sickens me that she'd rather go out w OM (or whatever she is planning) than spend the the weekend w her daughter. SO, maybe I shoudl watch DD and just documnet that WW let her down again. Or, maybe I should just make her pay for her own baby sitter and cramp her plans a little.

Seeing as how you are trying to get custody...I would take your daughter and I would prove thru intel gathering why she wanted to give up her time. Have someone follow her, etc. If she gives up time for the paramour...that is a HUGE NO-NO to judges!!! Like I said before, it is a win-win for you. You get more time with your daughter and your wife makes things worse for herself.

So, I would take her...but make sure you can get the goods on why she is giving up her time. This will show you as the responsible parent...and her only concerned with her sexual needs. This was the BIGGEST reason I got custody of my kids.

You are doign good Gramn. This will take a little while. Stay dark and get your case together. Use every advantage you have and can get in order to get custody of your daughter.

In His arms.

Gramn

I think you got some advice from Melodylane about a month ago regarding babysitting your daughter. It went something like this -

Quote
'And DO NOT, DO NOT, ever babysit for her so she can act like a ho with the OM! Don't even take her call to ask you to do it!'

Just thought I would point this out.

I still like using this toward obtaining primary custody...as discussed above. I am just not sure you can get the 'goods' and prove just what what she is doing and with whom. I can't see you tailing her with you DD in her carseat behind you. DI don't think you've said you have a close friend or relative who can help with that.

Again, I would normally agree with NZGirl and Melodylane...but I am thinking custody right now. And since I did win custody...and the fact that it is so hard for a man to get custody...anything you can do to bolster that you are the go-to guy and she is only concerned with her wants...then that will go well for you. It is why I took the kids fulltime, why anytime my wife didnt show or couldnt show, I gladly just moved on. It is why I didnt include her in what we were doign at the house...and she would find out later (and be sad). It is why I continued to get intel on her, gathering all of the hours she spent with OM and the lack of time spent with our kids. I was able to show that she had put that adulterous relationship before her kids.

In my opnion, that is what you need to be concentrating on in Plan B right now. Getting things better for you. And getting a slam dunk case for your lawyer to get custody of your daughter. You are trying to make your wife look like an unfit parent to that judge. And right now Gramn, she is an unfit parent. She is leading an immoral lifestyle that is not a proper thing for your daughter to see nor copy. She is destroying your daughter's family, which I believe is a huge act of child abuse. She is NOT a fit mother right now. And add to that she wants to add a guy who isnt even a fit parent to his own kids.

Mission number one is protecting your child from these two people. Whatever it takes to do that, you do it. You should be getting intel and putting more stuff together everyday. Do whatever it takes!

In His arms.

Thanks people.

One added bonus to taking DD is that she spends a little less time w OM.

Getting that intel would be tough, but I would just need to see OM's car at WW's apt...

That would be enough.

In His arms.

This morning, WW left me a message asking me to get DD some cough medicine. Now, although I'm sure DD needs it and I dont mind getting it, I think if WW is the one who she had been with then she should buy it.

My Lawyer says that I should try to work out a better custody deal w WW before bringing it up in court. Although I don't want to talk to WW, it would probably look better in court if I'd tried to get a deal set up ahead of time.

Gramn - You are doing well. Why not write out a schedule, and drop it off when your wife takes your daughter? Ask her to sign that she agrees. Keep a copy. If she doesn't agree, offer to change it. That way you will have some documentation that you have tried to be fair, while still keeping your daughter on some kind of scheduled visitation.

Dont respond to this. She can get it. Or you can get some when she is with you. And that's another thing...unless it is a prescription medication, dont send anything you but with your daughter to your wife's place. If you buy cough medicine for your daughter, then it should stay at your house. You can mention in the email or binder I told you about, that daughter will need cough medicine, or Motrin or whatever. But, except for prescription meds...keep family stuff at the family home.

He is right...but dont do it in person. Type up an email (post it here so we can make sure you arent crossing any boundaries) and then send the proposal to her. If she doesnt respond or wont work with you, then copy the email to your attorney and have him forward the request to her attorney. Then, if she doesnt work with you, you can walk into court and say "Look, your Honor, I tried to work with her but..."

Stay dark Gramn. You may not see anything happening but if you are staying dark, then you can count on the fact that there are things going on. But everytime you talk or meet with her, you go back to square one....only worse off this time. It took 6 weeks of Plan B before I began to see any movement out of my wife. Your wife might take longer...who knows. But that six weeks starts fro mthe last time you interacted with her. Dont reset the clock!

In His arms.

Thanks for quoting me, NZGirl. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Just for the record, I think MM is correct in this case. As he pointed out, he knows what it takes to win custody and I have never dealt with custody issues.

Gramm, I would not respond to her demand that you get cough medicine for her. She is still trying to make you her boy. She can get it her own damn self.

You guys kind of understand why I'm annoyed about the cough medicine request, but I didn't spell out the situation...


WW had dropped DD off at daycare, knowing that I would go there (after WW left) to say good morning to DD. BUT, she didn't buy the cough medicine herself, so left the girl there, possibly hacking up a lung for all I knew.

Also, if I had just waited until tonight and ignored this, that wouldn't have made a difference. WW is with me tonight too.

So, I had to get the medicine and bring it for DD.
That was why I was so annoyed. I really like MM's idea though. This will be the medicine for our house. WW can buy her own.

There you go Gramn...you have the right idea. You are getting the hang of this!

In His arms.

Gramm,

""WW is with me tonight too.""

Boy, your Plan B is really going down hill!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

k

Yes I read that too and thought surely not! And then thought that maybe Gramn mean to say 'DD is with me tonight' instead of 'WW' - I hope so <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />