Sprint just asked me not to air our problems in here- he said I can chat on MSN, but he would prefre I don't post them in here

So I apologize - i deleted this. I need to respect that from him

We understand but please remember the dangers of chatting and then decide whether or not you are strong enough to enforce your marital boundaries.

TMCM

deeply sorry...

When are you going to quit spinning the illogical rationale your husband is using on you and hold him independantly accountable for HIS actions ispite of YOUR actions ..

Nothing you have or haven't done justifies his gross disrespect that he is putting out there...towards you, other women and himself...

none of his actions are noble...and playing the wounded man role is destructive to all it touches....

how much longer are YOU going to shoulder the responsibility for his actions..for surely we would all love to be in his shoes granted permission to behave as he is behaving as if he is entitled to hurt everyone in the name of his hurt....

what are YOU going to do about changing YOUR life....because the going belly up plan cause you once were wrong surely won't work.....

I mean you nor he no disrespect...but nothing you or anyone else did justifies his present behavior...it is some fine babble though.....

I would suggest enough with the futile word battles and you take some action

ARK^^

What do you have in mind?

Well that's the million dollar question isn't it.....

I would not equate putting out the stuff on internet sites...with needing privacy....

I would not give my blessings to needing privacy in the same vein as giving permission to have secret friendships and cell phone calls that include nighty night and good morning...

I would expect both parties to give full access to all such modes of communication
and eventually I would expect that I would have a marriage with someone who understands the danger of such liasons...

I would start by not accepting such disrespect in my life...
and I would call marriagebuilders ASAP

ARK toomuch it is difficult with original post deleted to draw too much a concrete plan...but there were huge huge red flag everywhere on it..

I was about to post a while lot more - but realized I can't

Thank you Ark - i took no offense. I feel too that I am right...but I also have done alot wrong that possibly you don't see on here as you see my side - I have reacted horribly emotionally alot and not conciously...

He has agreed to set up some framework for a future with me and we are going to discuss it later, and he deactivated his account.

I am now heading into some prayer as I just need God's hand. I know he loves me...and even if he argues with me, he seems to start doing the right thing at first...I just need to do the right thing in between.

I am not worried about MSN chats - i only chat with Froz and Sally about my marriage - wont ever talk to men over MSn about it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

deeplysorry..

again nothing you have done JUSTIFIES your spouses putting out information on a dating site...

If you are married it is wrong...period...

if you accept it as if you deserve it...then you are doing no good to yourself...him...or the marriage...

either marriage and nobility ones self has meaning independantly from what anyone else does or did...or it doesn't ...
and his actions show no respect for marriage...
while it is his choice to not respect marriage...
it is not YOUR fault...

ARK^^

I am not accepting it as I deserve it.

I know it's not my fault - had time to pray - but also being very careful - I have an opportunity with Sprint right now I wont blow by my emotional needs ans such. In between the girl at the office and the forums - I had him back for few days, and I think I overwhelmed him. He has called me 4 times today - i have the chance again..I can't blow it.

His space is his space, I will control my emotions and not react....I have this small window of opportunity while my husband is not being pulled to someone else.

But I also realize, that if I want boundaries, i need to accept his, and posting on here is one of his...he doesn't like me airing our problems. Perhaps one day he will change, but meanwhile, I am willing to give it all up to have he and I talk about it between eachother, and I am hoping maybe we both can do that - stop talking to other people and talk to eachother.