I saw the other child for the first time yesterday, she is abut 5 weeks old, it was hard at first just seeing a child that was my husbands but not mine, but it was okay, we kept her for about 2 hours. I held her and put her to sleep it wasn't bad, I was able to look at her and not feel total disgust. I was worried about that, fearing that I would hate an innoccent child. I have been praying a lot so I guess that God lead me to love this child. I think we will be getting her this weekend for a few hours as well. Our own children ages 4 and 1 just think that we are babysitting I don't know how to tell them about this, its hard enough for an adult to understand let alone a child. Well thanks for listening.

LA [color:"blue"] [/color]

I'm glad it went well for your LA. I had the same worries w/our OC. But it turned out she was just a cute little baby. Our OC looks mostly like OW, which, oddly is better for me. I just look at her like this little baby girl and don't have to "recognize" H's part in her creation every time I look at her. I can't wait until OC can visit in our home. We've had several visits in OW's home that have gone very well, but it will be nice to just "be ourselves" w/this little girl. Hope things work out peacefully for you.

[color:"blue"] [/color] Yes, thankfully it did go peacefully and we didn't have to see OC in OW home, I would not have gone for that, I have not had any contact with OW and I don't want to anytime soon. Yes thankfully the OC doesn't look like our boys, or my husband, so that was easy for me as well. Good luck to you.

LA

I too was surprised at how much easier it was to see OC. I feared looking at him and hating him but I didn't. I like babies anyway so that helped I think. Like both of you OC doesn't look like H or any of my children (probably helps a little that OW is hispanic and we are white so genetics were on my side that OC wouldn't resemble H since he is blond/blue eyes). I think that did help me too that when I lookes at OC he looked like OW, not H.

We received all the legal documents from the court yesterday about child support and visitation. Although I already knew what they said, it still was overwhelming to read and got me very upset. H wasn't home and I opened them and read every word by myself -- STUPID thing to do. It just triggered all those horrible emotions about the whole thing. Plus I am really concerned about being a part time family to this child. I don't know that I can handle the coming and going of visitation or that my kids who are 8 and under can handle the one weekend here, one weekend he's not here,sometimes holidays, etc. I know I can handle seeing and taking care of OC (since H and I have had him twice -- haven't introduced him to kids yet -- one step at a time) but can we all live with a schedule of come and go. I stay home w/ my kids and have since the were born, I only know how to 24/7 be a mother - I don't know how to have them part of the time. Anyway -- enough worry. I am sure H and I will figure out something that works for us all.

You are a better person than I......
Good luck and best wishes.