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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 25
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 25 |
how long do many spouses wait after they drop the bomb to file for the big D and what are some of their reasons? thanks...
me 38
her 39
married 12 1/2
2 boys 8 and 3
yes, I want to save the marriage
D-day 3rd week in Feb 05
Nobody filed yet
living together still
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,430
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,430 |
Well, x spouse dropped the bomb 01/02, we stayed together until 01/03. The bomb being he was in an affair at that time, and it was not his first!
We went to counseling, (me more than he, as he was certain he only wanted to be with her). He did not want to give up the ow so we then seperated 02/03. He waffled on the divorce issue. He knew he wanted her, but wouldn't commit to the fact that indeed he wanted a divorce.
He finally in April said that d was the "path" he was taking, but he did not file, I did in May 03. The d was final in 12/03. I couldn't get myself to be the one to file until he told me that d was what he wanted. I figured when he said "path", that was as close as it was going to get for him to saying the word.
I think the only reason he never filed is because he is cheap and he wanted to do it ourselves.
I was at the point where I didn't trust him to handle our joint issues, and hired an attorney.
This doesn't really answer your question, but it's how mine worked.
Good luck to you!
K.
Divorced 12/17/2003
Formerly KEB1205 Reg 9/02
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
I found out about my H affair March 02, 2004...Tried countless times to save the marriage...found out OW was PG July 5, 2004...still tried to save marriage...Put off filing for Divorce until March 22, 2005...at this time, H was trying to save the marriage...Put Divorce on hold April 13, 2005...re-enstated May 25...
it wasn't the A, nor the baby...but the fact that my H could NOT commit to the marriage and he betrayed me sooooo many times...I just cannot go thru it anymore...He continues to say he wants to save the marriage, but it canot be saved with three people in it...soooo, I have decided to move on with MY life...he has chosen HIS, i am not a part of it...although he wants to be a part of MY life I wont let him...
what comes around goes around!
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675 |
I found out that my ex was answering personal ads in Jan 02. I filed for divorce in May 03. I found out about his affair looking for financial documents in his briefcase (he used to hide his financial stuff from me) Jun 03.
Everyone is different. It took me several years of neglect (I joing MB in 99) before I was ready to snoop on him and find out just why he treated me so poorly. It took another year and a half of knowing that he was trying to betray our marriage and was lying to me before I decided to file.
V.
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