Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 577
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 577
Quote
Well since I have already been caught "trespassing", I would just reiterate that KJB23 hit a "home run" with her post. She gives some very very good advice and concrete examplaes of things to do. I admit, I had to "shift" in my "seat" to get comfortable just reading the post...Ahem...ahem... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Cheers,

LM

Thanks LM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And to think I was a virgin until meeting WH.

Some more foreplay: Taking my WH in front of a mirror with both of us facing our reflection, I'd take his hands and place them on various trigger points on my body and slowly have him strip off my clothes. I'd then slowly massage his worked up bod as I stripped his clothes off. With him behind me, I'd take my hands and drape them around his neck while we looked at our embraced bods in the mirror and I'd tell him how f*ckin hot he was and how much I wanted him.

Crap, I am makin myself all horny and have to live in the sad realization that I no longer have a husband to implement any sexual foreplay on and the new guy in my life is being shipped off to Iraq.

Well, this brings me to more foreplay...my WH loved it when I touched myself and got myself worked up prior to sex Unfortunately, as a sexually primed 29 year old Ironman, the only satisfaction I am getting today is thru my own hands <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Sweet dreams,

Muels


Me: 28 yo Faithful wife Him: 31 yo WH Married:6/17/01, together 5 yrs D-Day:5/22/04 His Affairs: w/coworker fall 03 and current with '03 HS grad he met while chatting via webcam online; they now live together 1/4 mile from me. WH admitted to missing me & not loving OW the same way he loved me 4/05. Divorce papers were filed 12/04 and I am having a hard time accepting it as I know we could weather this storm, rekindle our friendship, and move towards great things in love and in life.
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,080
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,080
Stop it, stop it, stop it!!! Lonely woman here!

Note to self: Must stay away from sex threads.

It makes me remember fun in my nice, roomy shower with the clear glass doors...that face the big mirror.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />


Me 40, STBXWH 43 Married 16 years D-day 01/25/05 Son 14, Daughter 10 Divorce almost final - I hope!
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
Yeah, it's a good thing she didn't find out about the time a few weeks ago when my DD6 unlocked the bathroom door from the outside - it's easy - and walked in while I was thrown up sitting on the sink in a very compromising position, ankles pressed to my H's ears. (I'm still pretty flexible, ha ha.) The fact that I was still wearing a shirt was small comfort at the time. Needless to say, we are working on knocking.

I wondered why my granddaughter has been so twitchy lately, walking around with her hands over her eyes, and asking everybody, "Is it safe for me to come in?" before she takes a step in any new direction!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I thought it was odd when she asked, "May I open the door?" and she was still standing outside on the front porch. The light, she dawneth. Neaks Accelerated Facts-of-Life Learning Program, coming soon to a bathroom near you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

NEAK HERE - uh, Mom, what does this have to do with encouraging bashful women to be able to more effectively entice their husbands? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l back again: Let's just say that, as aphrodisiacs go, I have never found the imminent threat of a juvenile audience to be near the top of the "best of" list. If you're trying to ditch your inhibitions, a small voice going, "Mommy..." is not going to help. Why do you think you guys always went to bed so early? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Oh, I forgot, YOU and your three squabblings were pollinated. Never mind. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,080
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,080
Quote
Oh, I forgot, YOU and your three squabblings were pollinated.
My son was three (almost four) when I was pregnant with his sister. He asked, so I explained to him how babies were made. He nodded his head and said, "Oh, okay." A few seconds later, he said, with a horrified look on his face, "Wait a minute! You mean that is how I was made, too??!!??"


Me 40, STBXWH 43 Married 16 years D-day 01/25/05 Son 14, Daughter 10 Divorce almost final - I hope!
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Neak Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
That is so funny, Pebbles! You know, for a good many years, I never knew why, after church, Mom & Dad would come home and get us started on lunch, then go in their room and lock the door, then Dad would yell at whoever was dumb enough to knock and ask them a question. I guess I just thought it took them a really long time to change clothes or something.

kjb, wow! Maybe we should all write some kind of instruction manual. Oh wait, that's what we're doing.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
That is so funny, Pebbles! You know, for a good many years, I never knew why, after church, Mom & Dad would come home and get us started on lunch, then go in their room and lock the door, then Dad would yell at whoever was dumb enough to knock and ask them a question. I guess I just thought it took them a really long time to change clothes or something.

You're making that up!! I certainly don't remember it, and one can only assume I would've been there at the time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 811
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 811
Quote
Oh, c'mon...I've worked Pubic Patrol in labor and delivery for 26 years. Neak has 3 children. By using my incredible powers of deduction and reasoning, I've been suspecting for YEARS that something of the sort was going on!! I mean, it's not like I thought she was being pollinated by BEES!!!


I am just DYING here!!! This is GREAT. I need to get me one of these.... or maybe just a cold shower <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />!!!


What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Me 41 WS 39 DS 19, DS 9 DDay 2/25/05 Divorcing....
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 811
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 811
Quote
DAMN............I didn't mean to post...I really didn't. I guess I shouldn't delete it, as I was flat out BUSTED....DAMN.

LM


Dude! You're going to scare them away! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Me 41 WS 39 DS 19, DS 9 DDay 2/25/05 Divorcing....
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Neak Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Is it safe to come out yet? Are they gone? *peek* It looks like they're gone now. Whew! Ok, girls, party's back on again!

Here's a special suggestion just for Father's Day. Have him lie down on the bed and massage his feet, but don't just sit down next to him - lie down with your feet pointing up towards his head. Curl into a variety of luscious positions that flatter your posterior and leave you within easy reach of his itching fingers. (A skirt makes this part even more fun.) Then start to rub his feet. I guarantee it will be the shortest massage you ever give.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813
WOW! This thread is [color:"red"]HOT[/color]! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
Now embarrassment forbids me from reading all thsi thread, but I would liek to point out that Chrissie Hynde of the pretenders already wrote a guide to sedicing an dunwilling man. It was called "brass in pocket"

[quote]
Got brass in pocket
Got bottle I'm gonna use it
Intention I feel inventive
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice


Got motion restrained emotion
Been driving detroit leaning
No reason just seems so pleasing
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice


(chorus)


Gonna use my arms
Gonna use my legs
Gonna use my style
Gonna use my sidestep
Gonna use my fingers
Gonna use my, my, my imagination


'cause I gonna make you see
There's nobody else here
No one like me
I'm special so special
I gotta have some of your attention give it to me


Got rhythm I can't miss a beat
Got new skank it's so neat
Got something I'm winking at you
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice


(chorus)


'cause I gonna make you see
There's nobody else here
No one like me
I'm special, so special
I gotta have some of your attention
Give it to me
'cause I gonna make you see
There's nobody else here
No one like me
I'm special, so special
I gotta have some of your attention


Give it to me


MB Alumni
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 906
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 906
Well here's a stumper ladies (and lurking gents) --

What if you got told you might need to be going in the other direction? Say from wildcat to something more tame? Within the confines of the committed relationship only, is a wild child in the sack really not a turn on?

I kid you not! Have you been told your being sexually responsive, unrestrained and willing to explore paths to pleasure makes you intimidating to your man? Is there such a thing as a demure seductress?

Sally

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,885
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,885
That was a good read. I'm a bit troubled at the driving/OS scenario - the roads are far too crowded in Hong Kong! None of those long empty highways. Note to self: must visit USA when new partner comes onto the scene. Where will I find the longest roads? tt

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Neak Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
The interstates, such as 40, that cross the US east to west are perfect at night. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
is a wild child in the sack really not a turn on?

Sally, I think that sometimes it is a turn on and sometimes it feels like a competition or a show ... "mix it up" is my guess...

Sometimes HE wants to set the pace and the mood....

Pep

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
I'll be traveling on those long interstates a lot over the next 3 weeks. We are doing a coast to coast road trip!!!
Might be a little difficult with the kids in the RV. "Just go to sleep guys we'll wake you up when we get there."

We (H & I) used to play another car game. Red light/Green light, OS had to stop on red light in case car next to us could see in. It became much more adventurous when SUV's became popular. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />


aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 906
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 906
Pep! :-) Somehow I had a feeling you'd be the one to respond to this first! Big SMILE!

So! Any pointers on HOW to act like something I'm not? Is it all an attitude thing or is it partly an accessories thing too?

Like do I need to switch from g-strings to white cotton briefs and pitch the lube? Or is ego-stroking over other stroking enough?

As always, I'm incredibly obtuse about the girly-girl stuff, but I am learning! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Sal

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 368
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 368
Quote
Like do I need to switch from g-strings to white cotton briefs and pitch the lube?
Yes.

Like I said earlier, sometimes us aggressive-go-get-em women need to be innocent and demure. Don't let him know you are a sure thing. Even when you've stepped on second base and running like mad for third. But even before that, sway to the music you hear playing on the radio while you are making dinner, completely oblivious to everything else. Cut up some melon and eat it with your fingers and let the juice run down your hand a little and giggle to yourself when you lick it off. (same thing with an ice cream cone - this works best with those sugar cones that inevitably start leaking from the bottom and if it doesn't...well help it for pete's sake!) As for those white cotton panties, make sure he sees them at some point. No grandma undies tho - might as well put on a chastity belt.

Point is, don't be obvious about what you are doing.


BS: 37 (me)
WH: 35
D-Day: 6/10/05
Plan A'd from a distance - WH moved out
Plan B started: 10/04/05
Plan B fell apart: 10/14/05
Back on the Plan B pony 10/23/05
Baby stepping in recovery since 11/06/05
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,226
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,226
Great thread! Lots of great suggestions. I do have a question, though. What if you have tried to be the wild cat, the demure innocent, the romantic leison and the blunt harlot, and verbally your H says he's very interested, but physically he just doesn't "go there"?

I'm starting to feel (have actually felt for quite awhile) like a very unattractive, undesirable woman. At least where sex is concerned. He says I'm beautiful but hard to believe or "feel" it.

Tama

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
So! Any pointers on HOW to act like something I'm not?

I don't think I understand the problem. You are not a one-note kind of woman. You are multi-faceted, are you not?

Think of dancing. If your partner wants to slow dance and barely move, do you insist on doing the boog-a-loo anyway?

Sometimes you have the guy take the lead. That's all.

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Page 3 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 761 guests, and 62 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,839 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5