well, i guess tonight she's going to her attorney to get the show on the road..... very sad..... I have acted as if it doesn't bother me - BUT IT DOES..... i've got a significant contribution to this as I've had a lot of LBs (so did she - it takes two). I'm addressing them to become a better person so I'll be better for my kids, friends, and future partner. I still don't know if this is something i want or not but i suppose i have no power over it at this point... very sad indeed, today i think i'll be in the trough of the roller coaster ride but i know i can't let her see it. has anybody here ever gone this far, reconciled, rebuilt trust and love, and had a good marriage?

[color:"blue"] With honesty and elimination of LBs.

For the filing, you might say, "I can't pretend that I am not upset that you filed for divorce, because I think we have a shot at making our marriage work. I understand that I have some major flaws and I am working to eliminate them. I do love you and I'm going to continue working to be a better person in the future. Let me know if you would like to discuss any of this further sometime when we both can be relaxed and less emotional."

The secret to winning back your spouse lies in becoming the best husband that you can be without expecting anything in return. You ARE working on yourself, not trying to win someone back. Winning someone back is the outcome of that person seeing what a wonderful person you are and how much they would miss you if they continue on their own path.

As for your question, MikeB9 just posted in emotional needs forum about his sucess and there are others around who turned bad situations into good ones. Unfortunatel, I am not a success story. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I married the black hole and he eventually sucked all the life out of me.

V.[/color]