The good news is that I spent the entire morning cleaning out "our" storage shed and moved all of MY stuff to my garage, which used to house two of his cars...he has four...I still have more to move...

The other good news is that I called my realtor and she is going to come over Monday to assess this house and show me some others in the area in my price range...

The ugly news is that he called yesterday and demanded he see the kids...I didn't argue with him...I was asked NOT to call the OW anymore because I upset her so badly that night...I simply said "but why, I'm only telling her the truth" he denied it and said that I made it all up...Oh ok! He ended the conversation with a nice F**K YOU! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I just laughed...He said he would pick the kids up at 6:00...He called again and after saying "hello" he said "just wanted to give you another nice F**K YOU from the bottom of my heart" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> and hung up!

OKEY DOKEY! Well, after talking to my friend about this, she told me he does not need to be around the children that night, and that he was probably mad about the show being aired again so she suggested I call him and tell him not to come...I didnt' want to talk to him again, although I found it amusing I did not want to hear his voice...so I sent him the following txt msg...

In an effort to avoid yet another confrontation I am sending this via txt msg. I did not appreciate the phone call of obsenities and accusations. Therefore I have decided that your hostile behavior would be unhealthy for the kids this evening. With that being said, please do not to pick them up tonight. However I will consider you spending time with them tomorrow, provided you no longer demand seeing them, but rather ask if they are available.

In which case he sent me this msg back!

I will pick them up tonight as per my rights

soooo, I asked the kids to get ready and they waited and waited and waited...6:45, DS6 finally calls his daddy and said "daddy, you were suppoed to get us at 6:00, where are you?" his dadddy told him that I changed my mind and didnt' want them to see him... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Well, I do have the proof which says he will be here tongiht...sooo, as to not ruin his little evening with his three boys, he chose to blame me and not see them...after sending me the email that he would pick them up...

After that he called and left a pleasant msg saying he would pick them up TONIGHT at 6:00...

You know, I have NO INTENTIONS of keeping his kids from him...He is the one digging his own grave...I have tried so hard to make this easy for everyone...He wont give me times he will be here...only DEMANDS he sees them...So far I have not been hostile about the kids...but his demanding is just not going to fly...I am trying so hard to make it to that darn court date!

He has also taken over half his paycheck and deposited it into another account...leaving me with less than half of the usual....

any suggestions on handling the kid situation...Maybe ANOTHER schedule to get us by until the 7th...AND the judge doesn't care that he cant find a place in HIS standards...there are a million and one houses available here...As long as I approve of the living conditions he is in, then he will have to take the kids for overnights...HA!

Hi Mom,

I was thinking about you the other day, hoping you were doing well.

Why did you call OW?

It sounds like that call really stirred things up. Am I reading this right? Had the drama died down before this, or has it been this hostile all along? My gosh, that's got to be draining. I dont know how you do it!

Look, he hasnt behaved rationally or politely in quite some time. I dont know why you were suprised he was soo rude this time. If you keep him away from the boys everytime he's a dork, he'll never see them! (I know you're not trying to keep him away...)

I dont have any good advice. Hang in there and take care. I wish you well - Dru

Hey there! Good to see you out here again!

So your STBX has reached that stage, has he? Everything is wonderful and perfect and so much better with OW than it ever was with you.... yet he still feels the need to go out of his way to phone you with obscenities and such.

My XH and the sleaze he's with started making phone calls to me... filled with obscenities, threats, and just plain vulgar stuff. And this was AFTER the divorce. All because he felt I should hand him whatever he still wanted out of the house, and because he was mad that I made him live up to things that he was trying to squeak out of (paying large fines at MVA, which had to be paid before they would take my name off of his car and his off of mine. He started refusing to pay me for insurance on it, insisting he had gotten insurance on his own, and I was supposed to believe that he had and would keep it. The large fines were for NOT having insurance on the truck he bought for OW! I may have been naive or stupid about a few things in the beginning, but him thinking I would trust him on that one is just downright insulting to my intelligence!)

It's especially unfortunate since he is putting the kids in the middle of it again. I was very lucky in that regard - no kids. I feel EXTREMELY sorry for the Mouth's (my name for OW) daughter, and for any kids they might have. Evidently she became pregnant back in January, and he didn't know if it was his or not. Who does this kind of stuff to kids?

You had every right to tell him he couldn't see the kids that night - with the way he was acting, especially with that second phone call, you were rightly concerned about the safety of the kids under his care.

Make sure you talk to your lawyer about this - you need to document it in some way. Not to use against him, because neither of you should use the kids to try and get back at each other. But you want to make sure that you have some record of this so that if he tries to use it against you in court, saying you were not letting him see the kids, you can show that you were only acting in the kids best interest.

Unfortunately, I'd guess your STBX is going to make things as hard as he can on you. From what you've said on here, it sounds like he's a lot like my X - he was really happy having you keep the house and the kids and take care of things while he ran around and did whatever (whomever!) he liked. Mine expected me to stay that nice person who would do anything for him and give him anything that he had married! Hah!!!

It sounds like you're holding up pretty well through it all though. The only thing I would suggest is - is there any way you can have someone act as an intermediary where the kids are concerned? If he wants extra time with them or to change arrangements, he has to go through the intermediary. It would probably be better if you could remove things a little that way, so that the personal problems between the two of you don't affect the kids.

Oh, one other thing....

You might want to think about taking this to the DD board. I know that not everyone over there frequents this board, and this is the kind of thing that a LOT of people over there have had to go through and deal with. You might get better responses over there for questions about dealing with him over the kids and such.

Hi drucilla! I have a previous thread going about the call...I called her in front of him Sunday evening after he had broken into my house...He sat here again asking for a reconciliation and asked if we HAD to get divorced and wanted to work it out again...After an hour of aksing him to leave his phone rang...it was her...he did not/would not answer her call..so I called her back telling her that he was at my house and what he was doing...I told her he would be late...all the while he was in the background calling me a liar...

apparently I upset her when I called her... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I guess she didnt' care about how she upset me so many times when she called ME! or when she screwed my H...but that doesn't matter!

He has been playing these games all along...I gave him a visitation schedule in May and asked for him to follow it temporarily until we go to court...He flat out refused to follow it...telling me he would see the kids when HE wanted to and he would not give me any notice...so I have gone along with HIS plan this entire time...He has not called but MAYBE once a week, if that to see them...He sees them for an hour at a time then DEMANDS me be home by this certain time...

I go along with it so I dont look like the bad guy when court comes up...I document it all! I gave the schedule to my lawyer, in which he said it was a good idea and not demanding of it...straight out of the code! He is being very difficult just as always!

I have not done anything wrong...He has broken into my home twice and also assaulted me once, which I called the police! He has done things IN FRONT of the kids, like break into the house, which is wrong as well! I have no plans on keeping them from him...I am trying to make this as easy on THEM as I can, but he refuses to do anything that is not to HIS liking! It is still all about HIM, not his kids!

PinkPaige, thanks for the email, but again your info is all wrong! This is not a game, only on his part! Maybe the info she gave me WAS wrong, but I was also told my my lawyer that I CAN and should refuse visitation if I feel it is appropriate! Ed was steamed yesterday and I really didnt' think it was right for him to be around his children...no I do not think he would harm them, but they are with him to have a good time...and I dont care WHAT Dr. Phil would say! Whose life is this?

Mom..wouldn't you just love to be able to say to him when he does these outlandish things, that Dr. Phil has installed a camera in and around your home and has recorded the conversations? You know he's acting as irrationally with her as he is with you. She's forced to endure his insanity with no way out. At least you have half of the assets and the ability to move on. She's a two time loser with two children and she wasn't married to either father. So Jerry Springerish...

Can you imagine how horrible it much be between them if she was so desperate to call YOUR home to talk to him... My pride would prevent me from stooping that low. Her mother is either heart broken over her daughter's pathetic life or they're two peas in a pod.

My stbx would act irrationally as well then when he would tell people things I would say in response to his insanity, it made me look crazy too. They never heard what really transpired in our home and if they had, I know we would have had more help. Now we're at divorce time and he's doing every trick in the book to put a stop to it-even threatening me with no alimony to keep me in the marriage. It's his last frantic attempt to trap me. I guess he thinks it's worth giving a great portion of our money to lawyers...

Now you know you don't have to participate in his childish games. Be thankful that your future is free of his antics. You are such a beautiful lady (something the ow will never be called) and have such a good future ahead of you.

Hi Mom,

I'd call the police and get a restraining order. It scares me just how irrational he's become.

I think he's becoming dangerous.

File a report, get a better security system, call the police the next time... (would Dr. Phil help, if asked?)

I'm serious...