All that i am aware that she knows is that I have sent letters to her mom and sister. I do not even know if she knows I have contacted OMW yet. I believe that is what she is most afraid of.

[quote]OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

Just this second got a text message.

It reads: "I have not had any further contact with John, and will have no contact with him. Please stop hurting me."


SELF INFLICTED WOUND <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Sounds to me like OM's wife has confronted OM.

Hmmmmmmmmm.

I wonder.

Hey - that is what I want!

Oh yea - Yesterday when they all got their letters - WW immediately got onto her hotmail account and deleted all of the emails from OM. She forgot to delete her sent mail folder.

So far she has not changed her password.

I'm no Techy but seeing how you got in, in hindsight you should have changed the password and locked her out. She would have to wait aw <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />hile to have her account reset. But it would have been funny!!!

Lots of important data has come from that account.
I was told - "never reveal your sources"

But that would have been amusing.

She will say this:

[color:"blue"] YOU really caused OM's wife PAIN. How could YOU hurt her like that? [/color]

[color:"red"]What YOU did has ruined ANY chance our marriage had. [/color]

[color:"green"]I can't believe YOU would disrespect me like this! I am outraged! [/color]

Get ready .... it's ALL your fault .... this is scripted. Don't fuss about any blubbering she makes .... remember, these are tears ~~~ NOT BLOOD.

Happy fireworks <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Still haven't seen any fireworks. Watching the sky to the southwest.

Reverse babble....

[color:"blue"] YOU really caused OM's wife PAIN. How could YOU hurt her like that? [/color]

I know. (nod your head in agreement) This nasty affair has caused so many of us so much pain.

[color:"red"]What YOU did has ruined ANY chance our marriage had. [/color]

I know!!! (nod you head to agree) Marriage means so much to me too.

[color:"green"]I can't believe YOU would disrespect me like this! I am outraged! [/color]

[b]I'm right there with you !! (nod your head). I find adultery outrageous too.

Agree .... then state something you believe in. Twist what she says without saying she is wrong. Dissolve the sting of her stupid comments so they work to you advantage. MUST NOT SOUND SARCASTIC .... VERY IMPORTANT you errase all sarcasm.

Loads of strenth ... ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

PS [color:"red"] Happy 4th Believer! [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Pep - You go - that is exactly the way to approach his wife. That will make her head spin.

Found a reason:

Just a very quick message to YOU.

I have read your story from afar.

So pleased that you finally decided to do what "needed" to be done -- and Exposed.
Good going on Finally getting started!!

Next, Stay strong.
Remember You ALREADY "know" the script.

This gives you a Tremendous Advantage.

Just play your role and guide the situation to where YOU want it to go.

She like all WS is going to be, say and do the "predictable".

However, you can persevere as you are "prepared".

By contrast, they Are NOT {as they mistakenly Think they are somehow Unique}.
Yea, ain't That comical??

One word of advice. {This came from reading your experience so far};

When confronting either your W or in this case the [censored] buddy, simply state What You ALREADY Know as a "fact" ....never as a question.

Like with the Fbuddy:
You don't "ask" him if he's sleeping with your W ......you simply state You KNOW that he's sleeping with your W and your going to do anything necessary to see it stopped.

Then don't respond to the expected Denials and such.
No need to get sucked into fighting or arguing about it, cause as Far as your concerned its all a done deal.

Just calmly stick to your story, that YOU know what is actually true; remind them AFTER their tantrum is over, that ITS STILL A FACT.

Again, Only state things as facts .....never questions; Those they can wiggle out of, or bend to their own "warped" way of seeing things.

This works for many scenarios.
No matter HOW they plead, swear innocence (OR The Other extreme) huff, puff, threaten, Rage .....you simply state your case in a "matter of fact" way.
Never waver and never give them a crack (cause IF you do, they will use any wedge they can find to force it into a cavern).

Also their NEXT Trick is to PLY YOU with questions:
Such as, "Well HOW do you know".

All this is an attempt to first Find out and then ultimately stop or discredit your source (whether it be a person, email, phone, what have you).
They are Scrambling to learn what You KNOW, so they can find a way to combat it.

Remember KNOWLEDGE IS Power.
And for the entire A, "they" have had ALL the knowledge and power.

They are "comfortable" when They are calling the shots and running the Game.

However, the reverse is also true.
They are MOST Uncomfortable when NOT Feeling in control of the situation.

As they "feel" it is their self centered "right' to BE IN Control ......they will stoop to any means to regain it.

Indeed, They will attempt to get you to "agree" to play fair (such as be honest and forthright in dealing with them) ....even as they continue to LIE straight to your face.
So don't give HER any openings to manipulate you in that manner.

Be prepared, for Endless lies ....Tears [crocodile] .....Threats ...... manipulation ....... finally Bargaining / negotiating (this will come if you Stay strong) ...and On and on.

Indeed, This is not a negotiation, treat it as such .......and your doomed.
Form your Plan, STICK with it .....and YOU CAN outlast them in the end.

I wish you ONLY continued Success in Getting your Life and marriage to the Place you deserve and want it to be.
Hang in there buddy (we can support you) .....but we won't lie to you ....its gonna be rough.
Take care

[color:"red"] *** THUMBS UP *** [/color]
[color:"blue"]for TOP ROPE'S [/color]
[color:"red"] EXCELLENT [/color]
[color:"blue"] POST [/color]

Memorize these guidelines .... they are both your compass ~and~ your map ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I second this post above by PB&J.

Top Rope, you are ascending into MB forum "elite status".

Sourmale

Wow!! A lot of the "elites"!

Thanks for the encouragement. I have been led by the special forces of MB, and sure appreciate you all!

I will print TR's post, and memorize it.

I will lean on you guys hard, and I have learned you will be here to hold me up. Thanks.

It feels good to be in good hands.

Hey FAR - Check out Gramn's thread. Looks like Y-Guy is having second thoughts. Now who would have thought it?

Thanks for posting to Gramn and giving him encouragement.

WE are all in this together. You guys hold me up, and in little ways God allows me to help others.

Thanks for the encouragement, and the update on Gramn.

Mortar - I read your post to Gramn. I am close, too. I will heed your advice to Gramn.

Going to pick up WW/cobra from the airport after church. Will be an interesting afternoon. I was just lamenting to Believer that I feel unprepared for the next few days.

Your post to Gramn cleared that up.

FAR, hope all is well with you, my friend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yes, FAR, I've been following your story, too. I hope you are doing well!

You're in TX? I'm in Houston, or a bit South, towards the beach.

Not that I'm going ANYWHERE DOWN THERE this weekend!!!!! Oh, the horrors! The crazy masses!

Staying holed up and checking the boards out while my H took the 3 kiddos to Dallas to visit family. Blessed peace!!! I even slept late this morning.

Best wishes, and give us an update when you can.


slh