SS,

I am doing fine. I really think I am going to be okay. No longer do I feel he conspired to cheat me. I think he is just very messed up, like you said. And no I can't fix him, nor do I want to.

I do miss him in ways though. I remember the time I had an absessed tooth and the root canal went bad. He fussed over me for three days, even going so far as to take me to the emergency room for meds and when they didn't agree with me calling the poisen control hotline and rushing home from work. He also called every dentist in town at about 11 pm one night looking for one who would call a prescription in for me. When that failed he called my dentists ex-wife and convinced her to call her ex on his cell (on vacation somewhere) to call him. Which my dentist did.

Things like that about him, I remember. I am trying to let the pain go and know that this is all very necessary, because he and I are broken and need to fix our selves on our own.

He may be with someone else, but that doesn't even occupy my thoughts. I just know that we needed to part. He did it cruely, because he is a major CA and coward. His issue, not mine.

I don't want him to call me, and I don't want to see him. I need to heal, and probably so does he.

I am afraid he will jump from this immediately into another relationship because that has always been his way and his downfall, but I have no control over that.

What ever will be will be.

That is my motto lately.

Thanks for caring SS.

You are as SLH said for Graycloud.

If you could see yourself, as we see you, you would never doubt yourself again.

I wish you could understand in an instant how much there is still waiting for you out ahead. I know it doesn't work that way though, you will have to do the discovery work.

One of the reasons I ask, is that you are so important, but don't always know it. It's not me that makes you important, I only discovered it - like everyone else here. Of course, DD knows it, if you don't believe me, ask her.

Do you realize that your beautiful smile comes from your heart?

SS

That's too funny, because as you already know having 8 kids like you do, she would only roll her eyes and grin sheepishly.

Lately, when she says something hateful to me I have started going over to her and giving her a big squeeze and saying something like "oh honey, you must be in such pain to say something like that, won't you tell me about it?" Then she starts laughing. LOL

Speaking of little DD, I better go TRY and get her off of that dang phone.

Thank you again. You are one of God's angels and we are so lucky to have you to help keep our eyes focused where they should be.

Hear hear. Bless your heart, SS.

GC

Proud of you Weaver!

Hugs,

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Oh, Weaves, I am so glad you finally capitulated and opened up! You'd been too quiet for too long.

SS has that effect on people without even really trying. Must be that quiet spirit of his. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Weave, every word he said is true. And more. We discovered how important you are long ago. . . we just wish we could make you see it.

Then you'd know, and never doubt.

Oh, and you *DO* have a gorgous smile. I've told you that before. Gorgous!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


slh

SLH and Susan,

Thank you!

I just can't believe how I am bouncing back. Even made plans to go down state with some friends on the 4th for a concert.

The old me would have holed up for months drowning in my tears.

I think MB has been good for my resiliance! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Weaver,
The more I read, the happier I get.

It looks like you took your life back. I think that's what was needed.

SS

I think so too SS. It's been a long time coming too.

Well I hope you and yours have a good holiday weekend. Are taking your family camping?

W is on a cruise right now with her mom, and all her sisters. They get back in to town Sat night about midnight. (this is something her mom has dreamed about for years.)

We usually stay away from Holiday weekends, and go on the non holiday ones. Most likely, I will go to my parents small place (2nd home) in a little mountain town - with the twins, and mow the lawns, weed the flower beds, and like that. Of course, there will be walks in the evening, board games with the girls, and I may read a book or two. It's a quiet place, and I like it.

We may come home Sat night or have W join us depending on how she feels when she gets back. If she joins us, we will be gone until Mon afternoon, and I will be off line all that time.

I hope you have fun............. Will your DD be with you, or with her dad this weekend?

SS

Weaver,

I'm glad I don't have to worry about you anymore. You've found your footing.

-AD