My wife has been separated from me for 4 weeks after telling me of two affairs she had last year. She told me on 5/21 and has been withdrawn from me since. Emotionally she says she started withdrawing from me last year. I’m 33, no kids, and married for 3 years. These days she will text message me maybe once a day to say “hi”. She goes out during the week a lot with co-workers and her friends. I really don’t think she is having an affair, perhaps an EA maybe.

Sunday she came to the house and I cooked for her. Afterwards we went shopping for furniture for the house, which is bizarre considering that we are separated. I didn’t ask why and just went along. My thinking is that she believes that if we divorce I will keep the house and she wants to see that I am comfortable (of course I’m guessing).

Monday she invited to her apartment with one chair, to watch TV and fireworks. We drank and had a good time. No kissing or anything but good conversation. Tuesday she told me that she thinks of me as her best friend but not in a marriage/romantic way. While this hurt me, I understand her viewpoint, since we no longer really kiss or anything and just joke around. I’ve been confident around her and haven’t talked about any R stuff.

I just don’t know if I can take it any longer though. While she really is relishing in the going out and independence of the situation, she also will call me about something to do with her car or check on what I did last night and with whom. I guess she is cake eating? I’ve thought about life without her and have accepted the fact that it may happen. Anyone have any advice on the situation? Tuesday we have a MC with our counselor who basically views my wife as wanting to leave me and that she should be entitled to. I’m thinking about just asking her to file this week but I’m still not sure.

Have you read HN/HN ? It is a good book. This is all new - you need to give it a little more time. MC starts Tuesday see where it goes from there. It may be over but try a little longer.

She sounds like the typical Wayward Wife who is in an affair. If you'll read through some of the threads on this site, you'll quickly see how "alike" all affairs are.

Purchase and read Surviving an Affair, and it will enlighten you as to how a marriage becomes vulnerable, and what you need to do about it.

Do a little snooping, check her cell phone records, and see if one or two numbers are heavily used. Hire a PI if you can and get all the evidence you can to either prove an Affair is taking place, or not. Get all the evidence you can, then post here, and we'll help you through exposure and help you "win" your wife back.

There is a lot of pain and work involved, so brace yourself, and become mentally prepared for the task, if you are up for it.

There are lots of kind folks that will help you every step of the way on these forums.....

Best wishes,
SD