Thank you to everyone who replies to all the Junior Members' panicked questions. I know you've heard it all before, but it's new and frightening to us.<P>My question of the day is that I have been forced onto plan B. H refuses to give up OW. He has given up his job and his family to have more time to travel down to see her (in Kansas, from Seattle-1500 miles?)<P>He now has just gotten back from Kansas with the bombshell that he is moving down there. I am crushed and don't know what to do. One,I feel awful that he didn't give me a chance. Two, I feel terrible that he is not even thinking of his children, who he used to adore.

Kate - I know exactly how you feel right now. My W moved in with OM, but they live only about 15 miles away.<P>About the only person who has experience with your situation that I can think of is a guy named Chris (forum handle - Chris(CA123)). His W left him and his two beautiful daughters about 6-8 months ago. From what I've been able to tell, his W and OM left on a cross country road trip.<P>Chris is probably the strongest, most incredible betrayed individuals we have on the forum. We are truly blessed to read his posts...he is such an inspiratioon to all of us.<P>Although I don't have any direct recommendations myself regarding your situation, (I'm kinda mired in sh*t myself) I do have 2 suggestions.<P>1) => Do a search within the infidelity forum for Chris(CA123) and read all of his posts.<P>2) => Initiate a new post topic calling for Chris(CA123) in the topic section. He is a regular here and is ALWAYS willing to lend a hand.<P>I'll pray for you. Hang in there!!

I know this will be hard on you and your kids, but in some ways it may be easier. It is very difficult to continue to see your spouse and in my case it was almost impossible to prevent lovebusters, especially when it comes to the kids. I would get so angry that my w was 5 miles away and still neglected the kids, that when she called I would lay into her.<BR>In the end it was nothing that I did, it was om'w wife threatening cut him off from his family that caused him to drop my w.<BR>W now is seeing what he had to offer was lies and I believe that if he does come back she will reject him.<BR>As for us we have a long long way to go.<BR>Best of luck !

Dear Kate 31, I am new here also and in a similar position. e are only 86 miles apart and it was sort of my choice. When he left and moved in with the OW I put my house for sale, resigned from my teaching job and moved 86 miles to live with my daughter until I can find another job. I could not handle being in the same town and I couldn't emotionally be effective in the classroom. Most of the time I don't regretit. It has helped me in getting own with my life. Working on bettering myself. However, I do worry about not being in contact or being able to find out what is happening with him. I fear that he might not come back if he does leave her because of the distance. But then I do know one thing he could never give her up if we lived in the same town, plus he works with her. THis way if he comes back be will have better chance to recover, at least that is what I tell myself. He has been gone two months and have really started my part of plan B I have been thinking about writing the plan B letter but I am planning to wait another month. I guess I am hoping that after three months he might come to his senses and miss his family. No words of advise or wisdom just a sympathetic shoulder that understands fully.<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>